Sunday, January 15, 2012
I don't know if I am happy. I don't feel the difference even though I am married. I am tired of waiting and thinking. I am tired of guessing. I can't fully express myself let him know how I feel as it always only will lead to quarrel. I know he is busy these two weeks. However, the loneliness is unbearable. He should at least do something about it. He should at least try to text me or call me. But he didn't. My call to him seems like a bother. Often using irritated tone to answer my call and hoping to end it quickly. I am so tired and exhausted by this marriage but nothing I can do. I regretted by not stopping it. By being so fragile every single time. I know the ending from the start but being stubborn and naive thought there would be a fairy tale. The ending will just be like any other.
1 week to my birthday exact. 22 this year. I bet he had prepare nothing for me. Using no budget as an excuse. Using busy as an excuse. I feel so weak and tired.
Heart feel like stopping.
One day maybe, my heart will stop beating for you...
I miss your beautiful smile ... 8:05 AM