Thursday, January 06, 2011
using iphone to blog yr 2011... my first post. thought that its a good start. however it doesn't. currently dinner time. usually its my sleeping time. but today nope. crying in my heart. some tears flowout of my eyes. I'm puzzled. Unsure on what I should do. You know? The relationship peak or romantic or understanding period seems to have end. Many or myself think that this relationship was ruin by me in the first place and blah blah... but none know that or see
that. I have change. I am tired. extremely
tired. i learn not to speak when i am
angry. but i am wrong. its giving attitude. i learn to keep
quiet and cry inside. i am wrong. because i never share with him and not being myself. i try to
be myself. thrash out everything. i am wrong. i am trying to
pick a fight. i try to just say out and coax him after that. i am wrong if i want
to be myself i giving attitude. if i want to give attitude then i shouldn't talk to him and shall face the consequences. i don't want
to work together. i am wrong i didnt think sbout our relationship or him first. i want
to work together. i am wrong. see me equal stress when it was not
even my fault ir was about our relationship and not work. i am angry over things he done.
i shouldn't. i am wrong i cant be angry over him. i want to end
our relationship. i am wrong it prove that i dont want him or love him. i want
to go out. i am wrong i should have be contented and stay with him. i want
spend meaningful weekend together by dating rather than sleeping. i am wrong. o should
stay together with him at home so wont waste
money and still together with him. hundreds
of thousand more that i am wrong and even worst of i change. can anyone then tell me? what to do is correct? i feel like crying and dying.
dear don. do you know how miserable i felt? i try to be better and do as
you say. but i am always wrong. in all things you dont like i wont have any say. as it only lead
to me listening nasty words from you. i am tired. tired of u threatening of breakup. tired of u telling me u quit because i
stress u. or if i dont this dont that. u never
know how i actually felt. it only seems that i am always
wrong to u. u start only to think for urself. even when my tearsdrop because i am sad its a sin. act cute to get ur liking is disgusting... i cant be myself when i am with u now. thousand of times i have to bite my teeth to stop myself from crying and act that i am
not angry or sad to stop crying. when i am angry is my fault. what am i to you? i dont know what to do. i love you but i felt so miserable being treated in this way. how much do u understand me? or how much do u want from me?
my heart will be dead if this relationship end. it will bleed to death if this going to continue. both way is dead. i prefer the latter because i love you want to be with you. but you will never understand........ its totally numb now
I miss your beautiful smile ... 4:42 AM
Disclaimers ♥
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Miserable ♥
I am a simple minded gal yet stubborn at times. faithful towards love and aiming for perfection.<3
Fierce at sometimes & blur at all times <3
Kiddy and cute is my symbol<3
fat & chubby is what I am <3
Happily attached with Lim Ma Don <3
Craves,Loves,Hates ♥
craves : Soft toys
Pooh Bear
Nice hair style
Care from my Deardear
Nice clothings
Cute bags
Love Manga
Going MALDIVES Loves :
Puppies
Stars
taking pictures
travelling to different countries with dear
all chats are allowed here , Grandmother stories , Flirting , whatever !
Runaway-s ♥
Avelyn ♥
Candy ♥
Credits ♥
Designer: Audiee-kewgirl♥Bascodes : kathleen
image : enakei,photobucket
Brushes : Deviantart
Why did you leave me ?
I keep asking myself why .
But i just can't seems to get an answer . Different answers keep floating across my mind.
It's making me very sick.
I really miss you ...
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