After getting back my result for my chinese.. I felt delighted and dejected at the same time.. delighted is because i expect my self to get B3-C5.... But I got A2.. however A1 is all along i'd been wanting to get..

Getting A2 i can choose either to retake the exam in Nov or just stick with the result.. However i really had no idea.. In my heart i want to reatake and to give a try to see whether i could get A1.. as i get distinction for both oral and listening comprehesion therefore.. getting A1 if I retake the chance is v. high.. but.. on the other hand.. it is wasting my time... and i scared that i would be too stress by then...

The first thing when i got my result i actually hope to ask for your opinion.. but i couldn't... I couldn't... I had no right to do so anymore... what can i do? this incident make clear to me that I could no longer rely on you anymore.. I had to decide my own path , my own future.. Without you my life still have to go on.. But it was quite difficult.. because i am already soo use to it le... soo use to obeting the opinion given by you.. Because both our mindset were very close.. and whatever you opinion you had were usually the best for me...

But not now.. my own life i had to learn how to walk by myslef without any help.. Though i need courage but i know you will give me right? Being brave might be the last thing I can do .....

To moz of the people I am those type that won't angry too long.. won't really take things to heart.. But actually i am not.. i am a petty minded gal.. i gt angry v. easily at the same time i cool down v. easily.. bt i cool down unwillingly.. cox.. i dun wish to make situation worse.. I am a gal with alot of things in my heart... family problem and etc.. In my entire life I had never be happy b4 honestly... Not even those days with him.. my happiness is only on the outside.. I fake it out de.. but no body really notice it.. Sometimes I am unreasonable but I angry confirm is becox tt person had done something wrong.. maybe to them is very minor things but i jux dun lyk it.. for a few times i will just laugh and get over it.. but too many times.. i can't take it, i will jux shut up.. tt person shld knw and come and apologise sincerely (so far none..).... Most pple knw tt i hav too 'best friend' now... but none of them really understand me.. 1 when i angry will wait 4 me to cool down then talk to me.. another she knw when i angry apologise a few times i will be ok.. bt nw the gap between us has become bigger and bigger.. i can no longer say got problems give her a call and chat... pouring all my sorrow out... she and my mind set are alike.. therefore we can get along v. well..

another friend is becox he wun leak out my secret therefore i trust him.. but both our character are totally the opposite so will quarrel sometimes.. heex..

Some others friends around me are v.fake.. i oso cannt take it.. aiya.. i a little insane liao.. mux go clear my head 1st.. :)

nowadays i feel very lousy... I cannt find 1 person tt really understand me.. of cox i am nt saying tt pple mux understand me la.. but jux feel bad that there is no 1 i can really talk to.. As in be v. frank and pour out all my sorrow den hug tt person and cry.. nt even my sis...

PS: pathetic gal...