Thursday, October 22, 2009
Well.. about 1 week back... my boi and I went to register with cangai wedding shop for couple photoshoot....Last time went to bridal fair.. went to see alot of bridal shop display and their photoshoot. But i personally like cangai the most. Follow by juliet. For juliet I like their service. The boss was very nice. Wanted me to be their sample/model. She personally invite me to sit.
Give me discount and etc. However, I am not attracted to their picture and do not have enough cash at that time. However, that time cangai price package was too expensive. $3688 for wedding ones. And no discount and etc so I do not like their service...
happen to passby illuma on sunday and they are having roadshow there. So wanted to take alook at their package and personal portfolio. Was being invited to sit down by a photographer and a lady name julia if i am not wrong forgot le.. anyway.. the photographer and the lady find that I am photogenic and etc... Wanted me to be their sample.... their personal portfolio was $1288... but I wanted to take it with dear... a couple 1.. they say they lack of tt... and i am very "shang jing" so request for my sample and they give me the best price... at first I tot 2 pple will be more expensive then $1288... in the end she give me $888.. $400 off.. i straight blink... and wanted liao.. then she give me 2 clothes from them and dear is 1 set... however their pics is only 20... i find it too little.. so request for more.... they she say 100 for extra 5 lo... which is $20 for 1.. their extra pic is 70 bucks 1.. so i find it very worth it... then the photographer give my dear 1 more set....
so my package:
$988
25pics
1 table top
1 soft copy
2sets shop gown and suit
2 sets of own
accessories/makeup and hairdo ^^
paid an upfront deposit of $500 le...
Paying the rest during dec and when we go select gown ^^
Well it is our couple portfolio.. den if good i wan to have my own personal portfolio...
after that will be our pre-wedding shoot liao ^^
Oh ya... another happy thing is me and dear is flying to bangkok again!!!
2dec-6dec ^^5days 4nights...
teelala ^^
the last but not the least...
I PASS MY MODULES!!! ALL OK!!! WAHAHAH....
I thought I may fail sia.. so scared... but all pass ^^
1 more semester to go!!! before I official graduate ^^
well... very happy...
but haix... also got not happy thing...
currently my debts damm jialat...
$2940+230+115 = $3285
I go where find so much money sia :(
LET ME TIO TOTO OR 4D PLEASE :(
I miss your beautiful smile ... 6:53 AM
Thursday, October 15, 2009
其实爱一个人很容易。但要不爱你爱的人却很难。
生存在这世上的定义。
就是要爱与被爱。
要不然，
哪来的下一代?
这世上的男男女女都在寻找真爱。
但有几个又会去珍惜呢?
为何这世上爱与背叛可以同时生存?
很多时候我都在想。
如果你知道有那么一天你会背叛我。
你会离我而去。
为何一开始，
你要追求我，
偷走我的心?
你是否知道，
现在的我很痛苦?
失去的笑容在也照不回来。
天真的我。
以为找到了真爱。
但似乎。
我错了。
让自己陷得太深太深。
无法爬起来。
曾几何时，
我以为将来，
在不远的将来我一定会遇到我的白马王子。
永远的保护我。
像天使一样守护着我。
我以为你就是我的王子。
不会在让我过被人欺负的日子。
但其实伤我最深最深的人。
是你。
我的童话故事不在美好。
因为我生命出现了你。
但你没把它画上色彩，
却拼了命似的彩上黑与灰。
我以为会把我救出黑暗的人，
却把我推向了黑暗的世界。
我想逃。
但似乎我已经被爱你的心绑得紧紧的。
无发逃脱了。。。。。。。。。。
那天开始你已经不是完完全全属于我了。
以为你曾经属于别人。。。。。。。。。。。
我恨你。
但我更恨自己。。。。
以为我放不下你。。。。。。。。。。
I miss your beautiful smile ... 7:05 PM
Monday, October 12, 2009
A touching story that makes me think. As long as there is love, everything doesn't matter.........When you divorce me, carry me out in your arms
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms.
The bridal car stoppedinfront of our one-room flat.
My buddies insisted that I carry her out ofthecar in my arms.
So I carried her into our home.
She was then plump and shy.
I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
This was the scene of ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water:
we had a kid,
Iwent into business and tried to make more money.
When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between usseemed to ebb.
She was a civil servant.
Every morning we left home together and
got home almost at the same time.
Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy.
But the calm life was more likely to be affected
by unpredictable changes.Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day.
I stood on a spacious balcony.
Dew hugged me from behind.
My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love.
This was the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs.
Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife.
When we just married, my wife said,
Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
Thinking ofthis, I became somewhat hesitant.
I knew I had betrayed my wife.
But Icouldn t help doing so.
I moved Dew s hands aside and said,
You go to select some furniture,O.K.?
I've got something to do in the company.
Obviously she was unhappy,
because I had promised her to go and see with her.
At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind
although it used to be something impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it.
No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her,
she would be deeply hurt.
Honestly,she was a good wife.
Every evening she was busy preparing dinner.
I was sitting in front of the TV.
The dinner was ready soon.
Then we watched TV together.
Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew s body.
This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do?
She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.
Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her.
I couldnt imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out.
Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye
and tried to hide something while talking with her.
She seemed to have got some hint.
She gently smiled at my subordinates.
But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.?
Then we live together. I nodded.
I knew I could not hesitate anymore.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. Ive got something to tell you, I said.
She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didnt know how to open my mouth.
But I had to let her know whatI was thinking.
I want to divorce.
I raised a serious topic calmly.
She didn t seem to be much annoyed by my words,
instead she asked mesoftly, why?
. I m serious.
I avoided her question.
This so-called answer turned her angry.
She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me,
youarenot a man! .
At that night, we didn t talk to each other.
She was weeping.
I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt,
I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, o
ur car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
I felt a pain in my heart.
The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day.
But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks
seemed to be firmer and clearer.
A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her
writing something at the table.
I fell asleep fast.
When I woke up, I found she was still there.
I turned over and was a sleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions:
she didn t want anything from me,but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce,
and in the month s time we must live as normal life as possible.
Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later
and she didnt want him to see our marriage was broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me,
He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?
This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me.
I nodded and said, I remember .
You carried me in your arms, she continued, so,
I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce.
From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions.
She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.
No matter what tricks she does,
she has to facetheresult of divorce, she said scornfully.
Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger.
So whenI carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms.
His words brought me a sense of pain.
From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door,I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.
She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, dont tell our son.
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door.
She went to wait for bus,I drove to office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.
She leaned on mychest.
We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
Irealized that I hadn t looked at this intimate woman carefully for alongtime.
I found she was not young any more.
There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me,
The outside garden is being demolished.
Be careful when you pass there.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up,
I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and
I was holding my sweetheart in my arms.
The visualization of Dew became vaguer.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something,
such as,where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking,etc.
I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.
I didn t tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her.
Perhaps the everyday workout made mestronger.
I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now.
She was picking her dresses.
I was waiting to carry her out.
She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one.
Then she sighed, All my dresses have grown fatter.
I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because
she was thinner that I could carry her more easily,
not because I was stronger.
I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart.
Again,I felt a sense of pain.
Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said.
Tohim, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life.
She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute.
I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway.
Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.
I held her body tightly,as if we came back to our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.
Our son had gone to school.
She said, Actually I hope you will hold me inyourarms until we are old.
I held her tightly and said,
Both you and I didn t notice that our life was lack of such intimacy.
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door.
I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision.
I walked upstairs.
Dew opened the door.
I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won t divorce.
I m serious.
She looked at me, astonished.
The she touched my forehead.
You got no fever. She said.
I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won t divorce.
My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn t value the details of life,
not because we didn t love each other any more.
Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to ourchild, I am supposed to hold her until I am old.
So I have to say sorry to you.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up.
She gave me a loud slap and then slammedthe door and burst into cry.
I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way,
I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite.
The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card.
I smiled and wrote,
I ll carry you out every morning until we are old.
I miss your beautiful smile ... 11:11 PM
Sunday, October 11, 2009
i can't see...i don't know......
to let go or to hold on?
i am lost...
looking back......
ytd...
after the talk....
then i get to know the real side of my dear......
then i get to realise he had been lying to me from the start..........
then i realise actually from young till now...
i have never been happy before.......
if not for wee chun.....
if not for gilbert.......
i think my childhood life would have been worst....
suddenly i begain to question myself...
why i am in this world for?
my childhood wasn't good...
except those nice memories that i rem.......
i been searching for my true love all my life......
yet what i got in return wasnt what i have expected.......
suddenly i hate my life......
i hate you......
hate her......
hate those that brough pain , suffer and hurt to me.........
:(
I miss your beautiful smile ... 10:03 PM
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
well...
ytd we finally really celebrate our anniversary...
2yrs 3months...
lolx...
well... 2 months le... we never celebrate....
So much so much unhappy things happen....
ytd finally the curse was being outbreak...
well... nevertheless...
both of us still quarrel...
had a big fight and i cried... :'(
but still is fun and nice ^^
we go catch toy...
we catch one teddy bear... i forget wad the name of it... tear bear or smthng? v. ex 1... erm 1 small small bear sold at precious thots or more than words cost $30+++... greyish colour...
mine was a medium 1.. dear use about $5? to catch it..got 1 crystal at it nose.. so cute.. bt the top part of the nose abit spoil spoil le...
Then we also caught 2 pooh bear.... zodiac de...
obviously 1 dragon 1 horse ^^
Well erm...
we spent quite alot... about $200 :X
we went movie...
CLOUDY MEATBALL... hmmm not bad lo... kinda funny...
TIMES TRAVELLER'S WIFE!!!! Must watch!!!! dammm nice ok!!! i cried... so touching...
I hope got part 2 lo... because the man could be revive if his daughter could get there in time and stop them ^^
Den we go NEOPRINTS.. heex...
kinda long since we last go le... but heex... damm nice... i like^^
bought couple things... BIGBIGBIG GEEKS SPEC @ friday i luv u...
2 LED transformer tee.... ^^ heex... cute and nice lo...
but ex...
but ok la...
take it as... 3 anniversary spent tgt lo... so 200 divided by 3... about 60+++ lo.. :P
after is really great...
except the stupid lmd aka tmd :X
keep BULLY ME!!!
k na... thats about it...
hope every thng will be better ^^
hmm... nv use hp take pic cox take neo print...
bt dear took 2 pic of me.. so upload nor ^^
I miss your beautiful smile ... 7:30 PM
Sunday, October 04, 2009
another month is coming soon....counting down 2days....
how would it be like?
2 months....
never celebrate any anniversary....
going 2years 3months.....
How would it be....
suddenly...
i am not looking forward to it anymore...
do not want to have high hope....
because whenever u aim high u fall high...
things changes....
and is very hard to make things back to the same old past...
i am tired while trying....
problems seems never ending....
it just like sooo hard and difficult.......
i have no idea...
seriously no.......
How to start nor end.......
suddenly... i feel that there isn't anything call compromise...
no such thing as 50-50.....
1 party have to give in more...
I have never want, never like, never think of giving in....
But this period of time...
I am either being force, willingly or unwillingly i have to give in and compromise....
well...
usually when you give in too much...
1 tend to take you forgranted...
Kinda...
I was being took forgranted...
I dun like the feeling...
don't like alot of things...
but i have no choice....
sometimes i am really hurt....
not knowing what to do....
seriously...
honestly...
i dunno what i can do...
only can cry and tear silently...
well recently...
someone ask for my hand again...
he say i deserve better treatment....
well yes of course I do...
He is nice, gentle, stable and stuff...
but...
well i don't know...
my htb also asked...
why don't you leave for someone who is better?
Nah...
well is like not so easy to fall for another person....
though the current one is a baddie...
but well can't blame I am the one who chose him...
Planning overseas trip....
trying to get over....
alot alot of things need time, courage and money...
hmmmm........ brain dead don't know what to type... tired...
I miss your beautiful smile ... 11:07 PM
Disclaimers ♥
Welcome To shine-starry.blogspot.comLove Me? I will Love you back
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Miserable ♥
I am a simple minded gal yet stubborn at times. faithful towards love and aiming for perfection.<3
Fierce at sometimes & blur at all times <3
Kiddy and cute is my symbol<3
fat & chubby is what I am <3
Happily attached with Lim Ma Don <3
Craves,Loves,Hates ♥
craves : Soft toys
Pooh Bear
Nice hair style
Care from my Deardear
Nice clothings
Cute bags
Love Manga
Going MALDIVES Loves :
Puppies
Stars
taking pictures
travelling to different countries with dear
all chats are allowed here , Grandmother stories , Flirting , whatever !
Runaway-s ♥
Avelyn ♥
Candy ♥
Credits ♥
Designer: Audiee-kewgirl♥Bascodes : kathleen
image : enakei,photobucket
Brushes : Deviantart
Why did you leave me ?
I keep asking myself why .
But i just can't seems to get an answer . Different answers keep floating across my mind.
It's making me very sick.
I really miss you ...
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