People grow and change.

You can't expect someone to stick to something forever if change is for the sake of good. Dar told me today. I have been keep changing. The way I think has always been different. I felt guilty but I can't help it. I can no longer be naive. Because I no longer have the time to. Time is really precious to live in this life. Ambition is one thing a life is another thing. If ambitios is the road that I have chosen I would have took up designing after my O'lvl. Money is the thing that is important to me. I don't mind to work happily with something that I like and earn only 2k plus forever when outside can give me 5k plus. But I can't do something I like and earn only 1k plus when outside is 2k plus. My career determine how am I going to live. And I know how I want to. Bt it seems so difficult for me really to just follow you and give in for you anymore.

You only live once not twice. And I really don't want to regret. But I seriously don't how to tell you nicely what I want to do. And I want to do it in my own way. One have to striv eto success. In order to do that, alot alot of things needed to be taken into consideration not just money not just passion. Is about your life.

I am not asking for a luxury life. Even if I am I will be doing it myself. I am asking for a comfortable life. In my 20s and forever. Not when I am old. When I am old what can I do?
but I don't know how to tell you. You don't understand not at all.

Maybe its really true that we should split. Because our mindset is way too different. If I can be straight forward towards you and ignore your feeling. In terms of life you are a failure. You know what you want. But you don't know how can maximize it. You always prefer the easier way out but I don't. I am very realistic. Very straight forward. Money makes the world go round and thats the reason why I work for. I WORK FOR MONEY. Don't you? If not why shall we work? Can always stay at home shake leg, play, eat & sleep. Because this world you need money to survive. Relationship can don't talk about money. But career cannot.

I don't know how to make you understand.

I want to live a life from now onwards that I don't need to worry about bill. I want to live a life that I don't need to scrap and save. I want to live a life that I can go travel to different destination not when I win lotterry or Toto. I want to live a life where it is just enough for me to save, to eat, to play, to travel and to married. WITHOUT taking any RISK.

You know its been so hard for me? I don't study for nothing you know? I have my own aim. I am not stupid or dumb enough to make money for others but not for me you know? In future. In future. What matter most is NOW. The PRESENT. If you can't earn enough to survive now. In future when you earn is another matter when you don't you will regret. I REGRET ONCE IN MY LIFE. I don't want to make it a second time. I have never ever regret for job. I know whats the best for me. sinc eI am young I go part time. Because I know I understand I can earn and spent at the same time and earn exp. Poly time I teach tution. Because I know its the easiest way to earn alot of money at my age while studying without working for long hours or hard work.

I may seems dumb. But I know what I want to do in my life. My ideas maybe keep changing. But I change it to suit the life I want.

But I don't how to tell you without affecting our Relationship. It seems that what I said did not get into you. And you associate everything together with our relationship. Even work matters.

You know I felt Miserable? Do you actually know?