Wednesday, November 25, 2009
roughly bout 3 more days then can see dear dear le... well seriously kind amiss him alot.. especially recently.. dunno y la... bt well just miss him...always dunno why... we will always end up quarreling.. i know this is our fate... but i seriously dun lyk..... eventually when i wanna say something nice.. always cannot say out.. but keep saying things that are not nice..
i know he miss me alot... i know he care for me alot... i know he is always stubborn... i know he just need a little bit more love...
but well haix....... i dunno... but i guess i really need to see him bahx.. whenever he is not around i will feel insecure...
i hate tt feeling.. seriously....
I miss your beautiful smile ... 4:01 AM
Monday, November 16, 2009
ytd... me and deardear had a heart to heart talk...finally i knw all the while how he felt and etc...
i also thrash out how i felt...
those sorrow and unhappiness during these 2yrs plus....
i told him i feel that i am nothing and etc......
we both tears.....
he ask for my forgiveness once again to give this rs...
a fresh start....
i dunno if i can but i agree to give a try.....
to see if he change.....
before i decided to leave or stay....
i wouldn't know wad will happen in future.....
i wouldn't know how long would the change last...
but i don't mind give a last try before i totally let go of this rs..........
things done can never be undone...
but can it be amend?
I wonder.............
I miss your beautiful smile ... 6:03 PM
hmm...
Its been 9days sincen dear fly for rockhampton...
1st 5days no contact
following days we had been contacting each other almost every single day...
today he is going out to outfield for 5days...
(hmmm bill come = GG)
well ytd we had a small tiff over the phone.. i was so angry that i just bye and hang up the phone...
1 min later i call back to see if he off his phone..
well.. he did...
so i just went to bed and totally telling myself going to ignore him not calling him anymore even if he come back from outfield...
but surprisingly i heard my phone ring..
i was like WOW?
who call can it be him?
when i actually saw that my caller ID put his number i am like v. suprise...
I answer : "What?"
He called and said : " Good night, Ai Ni, Byebye"
I was really shock...
i thought he called to quarrel or say break...
But well he didn't and he say something sweet..
his voice seems sad..
my heart melted really..
this morning he called me again...
i was like hmm...
wow...
I was like why?
Then he say just to tell me he no set off for out field le ^^
I was like well finally he become my piggie jie jie le ^^
my sweety pie :-* Muacks
I miss your beautiful smile ... 6:03 PM
Thursday, November 12, 2009
5days le.. counting down... 17 days to go... omg... i miss him.. his words.. his smile his presence.... was lying on his mattress juz now.. smeeling his smell... lolx.... :shy:haix.. really miss him worx.. why is 3 weeks not 2 week.. if 2 weeks nxt week can see him le... i miss him :"(
I miss your beautiful smile ... 5:04 AM
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
dunno w2ad wrong... today suddenly receive a call from army and the person started to ask a few question and info about don... isnt the army suppose to know? after my questioning den i know actually his dad call the army again...but for?
honestly i got fucking no idea... tot they severe ties and deardear did told him tt forever he wont meet him le... but now is lyk ? o.o
he could have txt or sms dear directly rather than going a big big round and thus might cause him trouble... he nv even txt him and expect to get 1st hand information... this is kinda ridiculous =.=
since he lyk to get him in trouble not going to bother him well lyk the same he wouldnt too this is ridiculous =.=
I miss your beautiful smile ... 10:59 PM
its been 3days... since we last contact... till now receive no news.. but i wonder is it no reception or did he forgotten? I was worrying all the while so worry that he did not landed safely... Luckily his stuff told me that he had reach but couldn't be reach...
Lots told me australia they will be in desert... well kinda heartpain to heard this as he will be eating sands...
However, recently.... something weird happen... I no longer feel so uptight without him just as how i felt when he went india... I am ok without him around... life still goes on.. Only one thing that did not change is that I will keep calling him.. Hoping that he hp will on...
I think through alot of our rs... sometimes I thought we should actually breakup... why? I dunno...
Is lyk my rs is madeup of lies.. by you... yuen... candy... yr by yr different funny things appear...
when you are on your own.. i just wont be the only one bahx? have you ever thought why did i always feel insecure? have you ever go and reflect urself?
once after NS is history going to just repeat again and again?
you only left me in your world and yaq u said u already decide to marry me... Can I just ask... How long will your decision stay? How many lies do I have to live with? you know? sometimes I knew tt you lie.... only idiots will believe in ur words... but i just kp quiet and believe... u know i am no longer the 17 yrs old naive girl? who is so gullible who wont check and confirm whether is the news or etc reliable?
but can i ask? how long more must i be in this situation? i am tired but never once u notice... u know sometimes if u notice u are no longer the same le... u will no longer say sorry sorry wait a while i call u back u dun angry ok .. den will try ur best and call once every while.... however the other day to did tt to the gal... sometimes is not really wad happen that hurt me is how u treat the others....
i somehow lost the authority... and somehow u had forgotten tt why did i agree when u ask for my hand....... all promises had gone but i thought is ok... rs long le is lyk tt... i tot u wun be lyk the past bt hell no! u just nv treat me like the past... bt when another new gal come is just the same...
u didnt know those emails i saw then how hurting it was...
i am seriously tired and exhausted...
the past 2 months had trained me hard enough to withstand the world without u... some may find it a good news... well ya.. i dunnid to live only when there is LMD... but well did u know?
it mark the stage tt I had grown up... and my feeling for u is no longer tt strong... i always toguht i was just hurt and upset... but no... after we had been through so much the last incident still happen then may i know whr do i stand? content is no longer impt... wad happen is no longer impt... the only thng imptis whr exactly do i stand in ur heart?
same as then when u woo me? if so then shouldnt u change and treat me lyk how u had promise?
stress and life problem isnt the reason... they are just excuses.. there is nothing except u want or dun wan.. not u can or u cant...
sometimes i just wish to tell u my dear i am so tired... can we just end... bt i couldnt... as i do not want to hear u say yes... when this answer is out it just seems tt i am not impt... becox u nv hold me on... and i couldnt bear to do it or say it for real... becox u r no longer juz a bf to me... bt a part of my life... somehow seems lyk my entire life is only don don don.... bt well now longer juz u i will got to work study and play... bt it doesnt make me proud... becox it only tell me that girl u are really tired and exhuasted.. if things dont work out ur machine will just stop one day...
Being togther now am I just pushing myself into the grave yard? or happiness is waiting infront for me?
I dunno...
u know?
i love you
i miss you
but at the same time... i am hurt too
I miss your beautiful smile ... 5:13 PM
Disclaimers ♥
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Miserable ♥
I am a simple minded gal yet stubborn at times. faithful towards love and aiming for perfection.<3
Fierce at sometimes & blur at all times <3
Kiddy and cute is my symbol<3
fat & chubby is what I am <3
Happily attached with Lim Ma Don <3
Craves,Loves,Hates ♥
craves : Soft toys
Pooh Bear
Nice hair style
Care from my Deardear
Nice clothings
Cute bags
Love Manga
Going MALDIVES Loves :
Puppies
Stars
taking pictures
travelling to different countries with dear
all chats are allowed here , Grandmother stories , Flirting , whatever !
Runaway-s ♥
Avelyn ♥
Candy ♥
Credits ♥
Designer: Audiee-kewgirl♥Bascodes : kathleen
image : enakei,photobucket
Brushes : Deviantart
Why did you leave me ?
I keep asking myself why .
But i just can't seems to get an answer . Different answers keep floating across my mind.
It's making me very sick.
I really miss you ...
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