Wednesday, February 16, 2011
ha..hihi..
well i had a bad habit bahx... whenever i am sad i like to write diary/blog/somewhere.. so yuppp... u guess it correctly.. ta da.. i am sad again... why? same old reason.. love... and same old guy for the past 3yrs +... him...
this time round fifff.... i am not writing when he is not around... he is just sitting beside me... less than 30cm away... but i felt tt is more than 300000000miles away...
i have found out long ago... our world and thinking is so different.. our gap is getting wider and wider... recently... our love seems to be fading...
at least i feel so... my love for him wasn't as before... because of all his action and words... i begain to wonder holding this rs is both of us or just me?
words tt came out from his mouth is never about me except fault and mistakes...
i am tired.. so tired and heart break... tt very day i tried to hint him how i felt by saying everything when he is sleeping and i knew he was only pretending... but he did not reflect at all... is still all about my fault again...
today... by just not quarreling i ask him not to talk... and he give me hell lot of attitude... in the end only words tt hurt me deeply.. i hug him trying to speak normally and i did.. when actually every sentence i say...make my tears flow...
maybe its coming to an end... i always never listen.. to others to him or even my heart.... actually i know... is better to let go... one fine day.. if he still feel for me... he will look for me... but apparently i dunno if to do so .. we will feel better... or rather? shld i admit... i scare tt he will not feel tt i am impt anymore when he is alone.. doing everything he can...
i am not suitable for him or anyone else seriously...
i need to be alone... love seems to be so hurtful...
i have an invisible wall tt i build to protect myself since young... is you ask me to break the wall make an entrance for you to enter... you say you will become my wall... protect me from all hurt and injury... you entered... but never do wat u said and promised... u came in and messed up my world... making me hurt than b4...
u ask me to give a chance.. to know wad love is... to chose to be love than to love... bt in the end... the ending is the same......
being love... is only temporary... nv permanent... becox is something tt is not within ur own control.. to love... u can control... so the hurt is minimize....
4yrs.... if one day.... i were to write our story in a book... you will know... how much how much... u hav owe me... my feelings....
one little gal frm far far land.... she nv get to be love by anyone till this little boy from the fairyland told her tt she is the one he love... she believe and began her fairytale till the end it was not the same... there isnt happily ever after except tears tt never stop flowing
I miss your beautiful smile ... 11:53 AM
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Miserable ♥
I am a simple minded gal yet stubborn at times. faithful towards love and aiming for perfection.<3
Fierce at sometimes & blur at all times <3
Kiddy and cute is my symbol<3
fat & chubby is what I am <3
Happily attached with Lim Ma Don <3
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craves : Soft toys
Pooh Bear
Nice hair style
Care from my Deardear
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Love Manga
Going MALDIVES Loves :
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taking pictures
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all chats are allowed here , Grandmother stories , Flirting , whatever !
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Designer: Audiee-kewgirl♥Bascodes : kathleen
image : enakei,photobucket
Brushes : Deviantart
Why did you leave me ?
I keep asking myself why .
But i just can't seems to get an answer . Different answers keep floating across my mind.
It's making me very sick.
I really miss you ...
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