Tuesday, November 10, 2009
its been 3days... since we last contact... till now receive no news.. but i wonder is it no reception or did he forgotten? I was worrying all the while so worry that he did not landed safely... Luckily his stuff told me that he had reach but couldn't be reach...Lots told me australia they will be in desert... well kinda heartpain to heard this as he will be eating sands...
However, recently.... something weird happen... I no longer feel so uptight without him just as how i felt when he went india... I am ok without him around... life still goes on.. Only one thing that did not change is that I will keep calling him.. Hoping that he hp will on...
I think through alot of our rs... sometimes I thought we should actually breakup... why? I dunno...
Is lyk my rs is madeup of lies.. by you... yuen... candy... yr by yr different funny things appear...
when you are on your own.. i just wont be the only one bahx? have you ever thought why did i always feel insecure? have you ever go and reflect urself?
once after NS is history going to just repeat again and again?
you only left me in your world and yaq u said u already decide to marry me... Can I just ask... How long will your decision stay? How many lies do I have to live with? you know? sometimes I knew tt you lie.... only idiots will believe in ur words... but i just kp quiet and believe... u know i am no longer the 17 yrs old naive girl? who is so gullible who wont check and confirm whether is the news or etc reliable?
but can i ask? how long more must i be in this situation? i am tired but never once u notice... u know sometimes if u notice u are no longer the same le... u will no longer say sorry sorry wait a while i call u back u dun angry ok .. den will try ur best and call once every while.... however the other day to did tt to the gal... sometimes is not really wad happen that hurt me is how u treat the others....
i somehow lost the authority... and somehow u had forgotten tt why did i agree when u ask for my hand....... all promises had gone but i thought is ok... rs long le is lyk tt... i tot u wun be lyk the past bt hell no! u just nv treat me like the past... bt when another new gal come is just the same...
u didnt know those emails i saw then how hurting it was...
i am seriously tired and exhausted...
the past 2 months had trained me hard enough to withstand the world without u... some may find it a good news... well ya.. i dunnid to live only when there is LMD... but well did u know?
it mark the stage tt I had grown up... and my feeling for u is no longer tt strong... i always toguht i was just hurt and upset... but no... after we had been through so much the last incident still happen then may i know whr do i stand? content is no longer impt... wad happen is no longer impt... the only thng imptis whr exactly do i stand in ur heart?
same as then when u woo me? if so then shouldnt u change and treat me lyk how u had promise?
stress and life problem isnt the reason... they are just excuses.. there is nothing except u want or dun wan.. not u can or u cant...
sometimes i just wish to tell u my dear i am so tired... can we just end... bt i couldnt... as i do not want to hear u say yes... when this answer is out it just seems tt i am not impt... becox u nv hold me on... and i couldnt bear to do it or say it for real... becox u r no longer juz a bf to me... bt a part of my life... somehow seems lyk my entire life is only don don don.... bt well now longer juz u i will got to work study and play... bt it doesnt make me proud... becox it only tell me that girl u are really tired and exhuasted.. if things dont work out ur machine will just stop one day...
Being togther now am I just pushing myself into the grave yard? or happiness is waiting infront for me?
I dunno...
u know?
i love you
i miss you
but at the same time... i am hurt too
I miss your beautiful smile ... 5:13 PM
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Miserable ♥
I am a simple minded gal yet stubborn at times. faithful towards love and aiming for perfection.<3
Fierce at sometimes & blur at all times <3
Kiddy and cute is my symbol<3
fat & chubby is what I am <3
Happily attached with Lim Ma Don <3
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craves : Soft toys
Pooh Bear
Nice hair style
Care from my Deardear
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Love Manga
Going MALDIVES Loves :
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taking pictures
travelling to different countries with dear
all chats are allowed here , Grandmother stories , Flirting , whatever !
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Avelyn ♥
Candy ♥
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Designer: Audiee-kewgirl♥Bascodes : kathleen
image : enakei,photobucket
Brushes : Deviantart
Why did you leave me ?
I keep asking myself why .
But i just can't seems to get an answer . Different answers keep floating across my mind.
It's making me very sick.
I really miss you ...
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