I wonder.... who is the one that have been beside me for 2 years...

I realised... till now... I don't really know who he is....

Then why?

Why am I still holding on?

Why am I still lying to myself?

Waiting for miracle?

I don't know....

But the truth is... If I were to chose again... Now really I won't choose back the old path...

Is ok if its hurt....

Is ok to suffer and cry...

But is never never ever ok......

That the love wasn't there... or it wasn't deep enough...

I can accept alot of things...

But not towards the feelings... towards love.....

you know?

I always don't understand...

How can people two-time?

Love... is something that you can only give to one person isn't it?

Till now... I still don't understand.....

But I realised....

True love does not exist....

True Love are just two words for naive people like me to believe...

If true love does exist....

Betray will never exist...

I don't know.... Maybe I have never met the right one in the right place yet...

Or I have.. but is not at the correct time....

I don't know.......

Really.....

What do I want now?

What the purpose of it?

Ya... What if he really got something...

But nevertheless he chose it over me.....

Whatever it is...

He chose to leave me...

Yet, he keep tell me that I am the one that is outmost important...

He said that she doesn't mean anything?

Yet keep telling her, He love her and ask her out?

I want him to bring me to club...

Cannot... Don't want...

Yet, he ask her out for clubbing?

Ya.. Maybe you just say only...

But, come on...

If she were to agree? Won't you go with her?

I was so so so so so so naive to have listen and believe that you only love me.....

I am your one and only one.....

You are guilty and sorry for what you have done...

But now?

I am stupid. Yes I am. The most stupiest woman in the world is none other than the one blogging now...

I saw and heard facts...

Yet I still chose to stay...

Why?

HA..

Don't ask me that...

Seriously...

I don't know at all..

Not at all ok.....

The only thing I want to do now..

Is get everything back to the same...

And slowly find out what had been going wrong?

What happen?

Till then.....

I can't do anything...

But to suffer silently...

Yes..

I admit that I can't let go this relationship....

I may not be a good girlfriend...

But definitely a faithful one....

I put in my heart, my soul into this relationship....

I never hold back anything ....

Just like a spoilt running tap...

Water keep flowing out.....

The water = my love...

I trusted him...

alot...

alot...

alot...

You know?

I can even die for him...

I swear upon this...

If a car would come running towards him...

I will run towards him and push him away.....

If a knife would be going to be stab in his heart...

I pull him aside and let myself be the one....

If we were at the end of the edge of a high rise building...

Being force by enemy that only one to survive...

I would jump down without a second thought and keep him alive...

If one of us has to be force to drink a poisonous liquid...

I will drink it without any consideration......

My love...... is there........

everyone saw it.......

But i don't need anyone to see it...

I love him... wholeheartedly...

Always people tell me...

Your boy will finally one day leave you for another girl..

Your boy will finally one day betray you........

I will always say confidently....

If any reason he were to leave me...

It will never ever because of a girl...

He will never never never ever betray me...

I told everyone this...

No matter what I have doubt of him...

I have never never ever doubt about his heart...

His feeling towards me........

But that was just naive of me......

Girl, people do grow and change....

You have see so many examples....

Yet you trust that he is the special one?

Yes... I trusted him........

Again and again...

I forgive him....

Again and again.....

In the end........

What did I get?

Dump alone outside at plaza singapura, asking other girl/s out...., telling them he likes them and etc.........

What the hell am I?

Subsitute or reservation?

I wonder.........

Does he......................

Boy do you?

Do you ever know what is the meaning of love?

Do you ever know.......

The meaning of heartbroken............

Boy.......

you broke my heart..........

so deep...

It never stop bleeding when I chose to leave.......

You ask me to stay and forgive.........

Yet you make it bleed more than it should be........

Boy you are not the one that I know, love and stay together for two years..........

I don't know who you are........

Not anymore......................