Wednesday, June 17, 2009
I feel so lonely now... my dear wasnt with me.... how i wish to actually see him fetch me downstairs but he didnt... and not even a reply from him after 9pm despite tons of calls and sms... i just finished my work/training and took a cab home sponsor by the company... dear was supposed to fetch me downstairs but wasnt confirm... as he mostly likely not able to book out due to heavy workload.. but still he failed to tell me in the end... make me there guessing and hoping to see him when I reached home... as I thought he might want to surprise me...like the saying goes " xi wang yue da... shi wang yue da" ... he didnt manage to appear in the end... and never even inform me... despite me calling and smsing him... ya ... he going to tell me.... he is busy and tired... but well.. after his work cant he just text me and let me know?? COME ON!! I FINISH WORK AT 2.30AM!!!! DUN TELL ME THIS TIMING HE IS STILL WORKING? ya... I HAVE AND MUST USE TO IT AND UNDERSTAND HIM...
den who understand me? him? NOBODY..... he never know how I would have felt....
right now... at this very moment... or should I say once I started work... I felt so lonely.. he didnt know that once I have break I text him... just to check whether is he booking out.. BUT NO.. HE NEVER REPLY AT ALL.. JUST IGNORE!!! I AM ALWAYS NEVER IMPORTANT BEFORE!!! STOP STOP STOP TELLING YES I AM.... !!!! because if your campmates are the ones who sms you... you will reply... I AM NOT COMPARING!!! BUT THATS THE FACT!!! CANT DENy!!!
YA... i understand that campmates is a must to answer the call and sms as its regarding the army work.. however I didnt demand him to reply immediately today.. but at least.. as long as he is able to reply.. he should let me know.. e.g go toilet? after he finish his work!!!!
BUT HE NEVER!!! AN HE IS GOING TO TELL ME.. TOO TIRED... I AM SORRY... I FELL ALSEEP... BUT IS THERE ANY MEANING? ANY POINT???
no point arguing with him... i dunno who i can cry to.... who i can consult... my heart is so pain... I MYSELF IS ATTACHED WITH A BOYFRIEND... BUT THERE IS NOTHING HE CAN OR WOULD DO TO MINIMISE IT...
and if I were to tell him.. he will just say I dun understand him... den whats the point??
you know I feel so tired... I want nothing but just a shoulder to lay on.... I want a guy... to give me sense of secure.. to be there when I need him... and my selfishness... i only want him to understand me... and not always ask me to understand him... i am soo tired... keep thinking back... why did I get into a rs in the 1st place??? these are NOT what I want... everything he promised wasnt there... I felt cheated.... I am soooo sad now.... that I couldnt find any words to express my feeling... I am so lonely...
I long for him to be by my side... so that I can be embraced by him after a long day of work.. but no... it didnt happen.. you know... during my work... i "dream" that he would wait for me downstairs... and i can hug him and smell him.... I miss him so much... but sad to say... reality is always cruel... it didnt happen...
I have no news of him... except I know that... this timing.... he will be at camp sleeping... but he wouldnt know that... this timing.... his wife is at home crying........
my heart is so dead..... can anyone revive it?????????? I am tired......................................................
PS: you will never never know......................
I miss your beautiful smile ... 12:01 PM
Disclaimers ♥
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Miserable ♥
I am a simple minded gal yet stubborn at times. faithful towards love and aiming for perfection.<3
Fierce at sometimes & blur at all times <3
Kiddy and cute is my symbol<3
fat & chubby is what I am <3
Happily attached with Lim Ma Don <3
Craves,Loves,Hates ♥
craves : Soft toys
Pooh Bear
Nice hair style
Care from my Deardear
Nice clothings
Cute bags
Love Manga
Going MALDIVES Loves :
Puppies
Stars
taking pictures
travelling to different countries with dear
all chats are allowed here , Grandmother stories , Flirting , whatever !
Runaway-s ♥
Avelyn ♥
Candy ♥
Credits ♥
Designer: Audiee-kewgirl♥Bascodes : kathleen
image : enakei,photobucket
Brushes : Deviantart
Why did you leave me ?
I keep asking myself why .
But i just can't seems to get an answer . Different answers keep floating across my mind.
It's making me very sick.
I really miss you ...
Reminiscing ♥
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