Here's our story that does not end with a full stop but instead, starts a blissful marriage for us....
Our laughter and tears will all be shared here
Basically the blogger will be me.... "WINNIE"
Marriage????? Hmmm yuppp...
Before 2012.... ^^
In sickness, I will nurse you back to health.
In health, I will encourage you on your path.
In sadness, I will help you to remember.
In happiness, I will be there make to memories with you.
In poverty, I will do all that I can to make our love rich.
And in wealth, I will never let our love grow poor.
When you need someone to encourage you, I want it to be me.
When you need a helping hand, I want it to be mine.
When you long for someone to smile at, turn to me.
When you have something to share, share it with me.
Though life may not always be as perfect as it is at this moment,
I vow to always keep my love as pure as it is today.
I promise to be there for you in your laughter and your tears,
in your sickness and your health, in your comfort and your fears,
in your poverty and your wealth.
I know that our love is heaven sent,
and I promise to be there for you for all your life, come what may.
We have already been through a lot together,
and I believe that God has been preparing us for this moment
and for our future together.
I promise to keep the good memories alive, and to let the bad ones die.
I vow not to let the sun go down on our anger,
and to treat each morning as a new day to love you,
the gift I have been given. I will not forsake you or these vows that we have made,
but rather strive to show you my love for the rest of our lives.
This is my promise to you.
i love you.
Labels: ...
Its~~~~ Archery time!!!!
you know what??? I KNEENA THE 1445!!!!! but my mum forgot to buy for me or replace it loh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $500 leh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i soooooOOOOOO heaarrrrttt PAINNNNNNNNNN LOH~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ haix... this few days keep losing money.... not my luck loh... :(
6:03 PM
i pledge my love for you.
5days le.. counting down... 17 days to go... omg... i miss him.. his words.. his smile his presence.... was lying on his mattress juz now.. smeeling his smell... lolx.... :shy:
haix.. really miss him worx.. why is 3 weeks not 2 week.. if 2 weeks nxt week can see him le... i miss him :"(
5:04 AM
i pledge my love for you.
dunno w2ad wrong... today suddenly receive a call from army and the person started to ask a few question and info about don... isnt the army suppose to know? after my questioning den i know actually his dad call the army again...
but for?
honestly i got fucking no idea... tot they severe ties and deardear did told him tt forever he wont meet him le... but now is lyk ? o.o
he could have txt or sms dear directly rather than going a big big round and thus might cause him trouble... he nv even txt him and expect to get 1st hand information... this is kinda ridiculous =.=
since he lyk to get him in trouble not going to bother him well lyk the same he wouldnt too this is ridiculous =.=
10:59 PM
i pledge my love for you.
its been 3days... since we last contact... till now receive no news.. but i wonder is it no reception or did he forgotten? I was worrying all the while so worry that he did not landed safely... Luckily his stuff told me that he had reach but couldn't be reach...
Lots told me australia they will be in desert... well kinda heartpain to heard this as he will be eating sands...
However, recently.... something weird happen... I no longer feel so uptight without him just as how i felt when he went india... I am ok without him around... life still goes on.. Only one thing that did not change is that I will keep calling him.. Hoping that he hp will on...
I think through alot of our rs... sometimes I thought we should actually breakup... why? I dunno...
Is lyk my rs is madeup of lies.. by you... yuen... candy... yr by yr different funny things appear...
when you are on your own.. i just wont be the only one bahx? have you ever thought why did i always feel insecure? have you ever go and reflect urself?
once after NS is history going to just repeat again and again?
you only left me in your world and yaq u said u already decide to marry me... Can I just ask... How long will your decision stay? How many lies do I have to live with? you know? sometimes I knew tt you lie.... only idiots will believe in ur words... but i just kp quiet and believe... u know i am no longer the 17 yrs old naive girl? who is so gullible who wont check and confirm whether is the news or etc reliable?
but can i ask? how long more must i be in this situation? i am tired but never once u notice... u know sometimes if u notice u are no longer the same le... u will no longer say sorry sorry wait a while i call u back u dun angry ok .. den will try ur best and call once every while.... however the other day to did tt to the gal... sometimes is not really wad happen that hurt me is how u treat the others....
i somehow lost the authority... and somehow u had forgotten tt why did i agree when u ask for my hand....... all promises had gone but i thought is ok... rs long le is lyk tt... i tot u wun be lyk the past bt hell no! u just nv treat me like the past... bt when another new gal come is just the same...
u didnt know those emails i saw then how hurting it was...
i am seriously tired and exhausted...
the past 2 months had trained me hard enough to withstand the world without u... some may find it a good news... well ya.. i dunnid to live only when there is LMD... but well did u know?
it mark the stage tt I had grown up... and my feeling for u is no longer tt strong... i always toguht i was just hurt and upset... but no... after we had been through so much the last incident still happen then may i know whr do i stand? content is no longer impt... wad happen is no longer impt... the only thng imptis whr exactly do i stand in ur heart?
same as then when u woo me? if so then shouldnt u change and treat me lyk how u had promise?
stress and life problem isnt the reason... they are just excuses.. there is nothing except u want or dun wan.. not u can or u cant...
sometimes i just wish to tell u my dear i am so tired... can we just end... bt i couldnt... as i do not want to hear u say yes... when this answer is out it just seems tt i am not impt... becox u nv hold me on... and i couldnt bear to do it or say it for real... becox u r no longer juz a bf to me... bt a part of my life... somehow seems lyk my entire life is only don don don.... bt well now longer juz u i will got to work study and play... bt it doesnt make me proud... becox it only tell me that girl u are really tired and exhuasted.. if things dont work out ur machine will just stop one day...
Being togther now am I just pushing myself into the grave yard? or happiness is waiting infront for me?
I dunno...
u know?
i love you
i miss you
but at the same time... i am hurt too
5:13 PM
i pledge my love for you.
Well.. about 1 week back... my boi and I went to register with cangai wedding shop for couple photoshoot....
Last time went to bridal fair.. went to see alot of bridal shop display and their photoshoot. But i personally like cangai the most. Follow by juliet. For juliet I like their service. The boss was very nice. Wanted me to be their sample/model. She personally invite me to sit.
Give me discount and etc. However, I am not attracted to their picture and do not have enough cash at that time. However, that time cangai price package was too expensive. $3688 for wedding ones. And no discount and etc so I do not like their service...
happen to passby illuma on sunday and they are having roadshow there. So wanted to take alook at their package and personal portfolio. Was being invited to sit down by a photographer and a lady name julia if i am not wrong forgot le.. anyway.. the photographer and the lady find that I am photogenic and etc... Wanted me to be their sample.... their personal portfolio was $1288... but I wanted to take it with dear... a couple 1.. they say they lack of tt... and i am very "shang jing" so request for my sample and they give me the best price... at first I tot 2 pple will be more expensive then $1288... in the end she give me $888.. $400 off.. i straight blink... and wanted liao.. then she give me 2 clothes from them and dear is 1 set... however their pics is only 20... i find it too little.. so request for more.... they she say 100 for extra 5 lo... which is $20 for 1.. their extra pic is 70 bucks 1.. so i find it very worth it... then the photographer give my dear 1 more set....
so my package:
$988
25pics
1 table top
1 soft copy
2sets shop gown and suit
2 sets of own
accessories/makeup and hairdo ^^
paid an upfront deposit of $500 le...
Paying the rest during dec and when we go select gown ^^
Well it is our couple portfolio.. den if good i wan to have my own personal portfolio...
after that will be our pre-wedding shoot liao ^^
Oh ya... another happy thing is me and dear is flying to bangkok again!!!
2dec-6dec ^^5days 4nights...
teelala ^^
the last but not the least...
I PASS MY MODULES!!! ALL OK!!! WAHAHAH....
I thought I may fail sia.. so scared... but all pass ^^
1 more semester to go!!! before I official graduate ^^
well... very happy...
but haix... also got not happy thing...
currently my debts damm jialat...
$2940+230+115 = $3285
I go where find so much money sia :(
LET ME TIO TOTO OR 4D PLEASE :(
6:53 AM
i pledge my love for you.
其实爱一个人很容易。
但要不爱你爱的人却很难。
生存在这世上的定义。
就是要爱与被爱。
要不然，
哪来的下一代?
这世上的男男女女都在寻找真爱。
但有几个又会去珍惜呢?
为何这世上爱与背叛可以同时生存?
很多时候我都在想。
如果你知道有那么一天你会背叛我。
你会离我而去。
为何一开始，
你要追求我，
偷走我的心?
你是否知道，
现在的我很痛苦?
失去的笑容在也照不回来。
天真的我。
以为找到了真爱。
但似乎。
我错了。
让自己陷得太深太深。
无法爬起来。
曾几何时，
我以为将来，
在不远的将来我一定会遇到我的白马王子。
永远的保护我。
像天使一样守护着我。
我以为你就是我的王子。
不会在让我过被人欺负的日子。
但其实伤我最深最深的人。
是你。
我的童话故事不在美好。
因为我生命出现了你。
但你没把它画上色彩，
却拼了命似的彩上黑与灰。
我以为会把我救出黑暗的人，
却把我推向了黑暗的世界。
我想逃。
但似乎我已经被爱你的心绑得紧紧的。
无发逃脱了。。。。。。。。。。
那天开始你已经不是完完全全属于我了。
以为你曾经属于别人。。。。。。。。。。。
我恨你。
但我更恨自己。。。。
以为我放不下你。。。。。。。。。。
7:05 PM
i pledge my love for you.
A touching story that makes me think. As long as there is love, everything doesn't matter.........
When you divorce me, carry me out in your arms
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms.
The bridal car stoppedinfront of our one-room flat.
My buddies insisted that I carry her out ofthecar in my arms.
So I carried her into our home.
She was then plump and shy.
I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
This was the scene of ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water:
we had a kid,
Iwent into business and tried to make more money.
When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between usseemed to ebb.
She was a civil servant.
Every morning we left home together and
got home almost at the same time.
Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy.
But the calm life was more likely to be affected
by unpredictable changes.Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day.
I stood on a spacious balcony.
Dew hugged me from behind.
My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love.
This was the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs.
Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife.
When we just married, my wife said,
Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
Thinking ofthis, I became somewhat hesitant.
I knew I had betrayed my wife.
But Icouldn t help doing so.
I moved Dew s hands aside and said,
You go to select some furniture,O.K.?
I've got something to do in the company.
Obviously she was unhappy,
because I had promised her to go and see with her.
At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind
although it used to be something impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it.
No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her,
she would be deeply hurt.
Honestly,she was a good wife.
Every evening she was busy preparing dinner.
I was sitting in front of the TV.
The dinner was ready soon.
Then we watched TV together.
Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew s body.
This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do?
She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.
Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her.
I couldnt imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out.
Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye
and tried to hide something while talking with her.
She seemed to have got some hint.
She gently smiled at my subordinates.
But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.?
Then we live together. I nodded.
I knew I could not hesitate anymore.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. Ive got something to tell you, I said.
She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didnt know how to open my mouth.
But I had to let her know whatI was thinking.
I want to divorce.
I raised a serious topic calmly.
She didn t seem to be much annoyed by my words,
instead she asked mesoftly, why?
. I m serious.
I avoided her question.
This so-called answer turned her angry.
She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me,
youarenot a man! .
At that night, we didn t talk to each other.
She was weeping.
I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt,
I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, o
ur car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
I felt a pain in my heart.
The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day.
But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks
seemed to be firmer and clearer.
A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her
writing something at the table.
I fell asleep fast.
When I woke up, I found she was still there.
I turned over and was a sleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions:
she didn t want anything from me,but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce,
and in the month s time we must live as normal life as possible.
Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later
and she didnt want him to see our marriage was broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me,
He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?
This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me.
I nodded and said, I remember .
You carried me in your arms, she continued, so,
I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce.
From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions.
She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.
No matter what tricks she does,
she has to facetheresult of divorce, she said scornfully.
Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger.
So whenI carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms.
His words brought me a sense of pain.
From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door,I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.
She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, dont tell our son.
I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door.
She went to wait for bus,I drove to office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.
She leaned on mychest.
We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
Irealized that I hadn t looked at this intimate woman carefully for alongtime.
I found she was not young any more.
There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me,
The outside garden is being demolished.
Be careful when you pass there.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up,
I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and
I was holding my sweetheart in my arms.
The visualization of Dew became vaguer.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something,
such as,where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking,etc.
I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.
I didn t tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her.
Perhaps the everyday workout made mestronger.
I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now.
She was picking her dresses.
I was waiting to carry her out.
She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one.
Then she sighed, All my dresses have grown fatter.
I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because
she was thinner that I could carry her more easily,
not because I was stronger.
I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart.
Again,I felt a sense of pain.
Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said.
Tohim, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life.
She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute.
I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway.
Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.
I held her body tightly,as if we came back to our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.
Our son had gone to school.
She said, Actually I hope you will hold me inyourarms until we are old.
I held her tightly and said,
Both you and I didn t notice that our life was lack of such intimacy.
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door.
I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision.
I walked upstairs.
Dew opened the door.
I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won t divorce.
I m serious.
She looked at me, astonished.
The she touched my forehead.
You got no fever. She said.
I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won t divorce.
My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn t value the details of life,
not because we didn t love each other any more.
Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to ourchild, I am supposed to hold her until I am old.
So I have to say sorry to you.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up.
She gave me a loud slap and then slammedthe door and burst into cry.
I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way,
I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite.
The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card.
I smiled and wrote,
I ll carry you out every morning until we are old.
11:11 PM
i pledge my love for you.
i can't see...
i don't know......
to let go or to hold on?
i am lost...
looking back......
ytd...
after the talk....
then i get to know the real side of my dear......
then i get to realise he had been lying to me from the start..........
then i realise actually from young till now...
i have never been happy before.......
if not for wee chun.....
if not for gilbert.......
i think my childhood life would have been worst....
suddenly i begain to question myself...
why i am in this world for?
my childhood wasn't good...
except those nice memories that i rem.......
i been searching for my true love all my life......
yet what i got in return wasnt what i have expected.......
suddenly i hate my life......
i hate you......
hate her......
hate those that brough pain , suffer and hurt to me.........
:(
10:03 PM
i pledge my love for you.
well... ytd we finally really celebrate our anniversary...2yrs 3months...lolx...well... 2 months le... we never celebrate....So much so much unhappy things happen....ytd finally the curse was being outbreak...well... nevertheless...both of us still quarrel...had a big fight and i cried... :'(but still is fun and nice ^^we go catch toy...we catch one teddy bear... i forget wad the name of it... tear bear or smthng? v. ex 1... erm 1 small small bear sold at precious thots or more than words cost $30+++... greyish colour...mine was a medium 1.. dear use about $5? to catch it..got 1 crystal at it nose.. so cute.. bt the top part of the nose abit spoil spoil le...Then we also caught 2 pooh bear.... zodiac de...obviously 1 dragon 1 horse ^^Well erm...we spent quite alot... about $200 :Xwe went movie...CLOUDY MEATBALL... hmmm not bad lo... kinda funny...TIMES TRAVELLER'S WIFE!!!! Must watch!!!! dammm nice ok!!! i cried... so touching...I hope got part 2 lo... because the man could be revive if his daughter could get there in time and stop them ^^Den we go NEOPRINTS.. heex...kinda long since we last go le... but heex... damm nice... i like^^bought couple things... BIGBIGBIG GEEKS SPEC @ friday i luv u...2 LED transformer tee.... ^^ heex... cute and nice lo...but ex...but ok la...take it as... 3 anniversary spent tgt lo... so 200 divided by 3... about 60+++ lo.. :Pafter is really great... except the stupid lmd aka tmd :X keep BULLY ME!!!k na... thats about it...hope every thng will be better ^^hmm... nv use hp take pic cox take neo print...bt dear took 2 pic of me.. so upload nor ^^
7:30 PM
i pledge my love for you.
another month is coming soon....
counting down 2days....
how would it be like?
2 months....
never celebrate any anniversary....
going 2years 3months.....
How would it be....
suddenly...
i am not looking forward to it anymore...
do not want to have high hope....
because whenever u aim high u fall high...
things changes....
and is very hard to make things back to the same old past...
i am tired while trying....
problems seems never ending....
it just like sooo hard and difficult.......
i have no idea...
seriously no.......
How to start nor end.......
suddenly... i feel that there isn't anything call compromise...
no such thing as 50-50.....
1 party have to give in more...
I have never want, never like, never think of giving in....
But this period of time...
I am either being force, willingly or unwillingly i have to give in and compromise....
well...
usually when you give in too much...
1 tend to take you forgranted...
Kinda...
I was being took forgranted...
I dun like the feeling...
don't like alot of things...
but i have no choice....
sometimes i am really hurt....
not knowing what to do....
seriously...
honestly...
i dunno what i can do...
only can cry and tear silently...
well recently...
someone ask for my hand again...
he say i deserve better treatment....
well yes of course I do...
He is nice, gentle, stable and stuff...
but...
well i don't know...
my htb also asked...
why don't you leave for someone who is better?
Nah...
well is like not so easy to fall for another person....
though the current one is a baddie...
but well can't blame I am the one who chose him...
Planning overseas trip....
trying to get over....
alot alot of things need time, courage and money...
hmmmm........ brain dead don't know what to type... tired...
11:07 PM
i pledge my love for you.
fear and insecure keep surface my mind...
I don't know...
But...
I hate this...
I hate to fear and hate to feel insecure...
Like what dear say because of my insecure leads to many quarrels that could have be avoided...
But is like what he says also...
"Once bitten twice shy"
I am scare...
Not that I think history will repeat this very moment...
Is just that I am wondering...
In the near future...
When we have both grown up...
Would he? In any chance do what he do in the past?
No matter under what circumstances would he ever do it again?
Yes, no doubt I had ask this many times...
But it is also because I get different answer always...
Sometimes he will say of course no!
Sometimes he will say I don't know this type of thing hard to say because it happen before...
Actually there isn't I won't...
There is only I don't want...
E.g. I won't love anyone other than you...
Well the fact is that you will and you can...
Is just that you don't want...
That day he told me...
If I were him I might have done the same thing...
To be honest...
No...
I won't...
I may say it because I am angry or disappointed...
But I will never do it...
I know...
We will married...
I know...
We will be together till eternity...
To be honest...
Same as him...
I know regardless of what...
He still love me deeply...
I know his heart won't change...
Because these 2years, the days that we had been together...
Is never a joking thing...
We been through alot...
Its nothing different from husband and wife...
Except that...
We don't have our own house...
We don't have a certificate of marriage...
Looking back...
If back then I had never chose him...
How will my life from 07-09 be like?
Well probably I would have change a few bf...
Looking and searching for my true love...
Still the happy little naive girl...
I am confident enough to say...
If I never chose him but others...
I would not fall that deeply...
And would have what you guys call as puppy love...
But him...
Don't know why...
A guy who is totally not my type...
A guy who have everything I don't like...
I don't like guys who play game everyday...
I don't like guys who lied..
I don't like guys who always sleep...
I don't like guys who are always late...
I don't like guys who are unhygenic...
I don't like guys who brag...
I don't like guys who play around...
I don't like guys who don't care about their family...
I don't like guys who are lazy...
I don't like guys who don't study or work...
AMAZINGLY...
This boy that I am having right now...
That I own from 07/07/07 till now...
SCORE 100% FULL MARK for what I don't like...
Zzzz
But him...
Make me slowly fall in love with him...
Deeply...
Till the extent I can't climb up...
Do foolish things to find him...
Forgive everything that he had done...
Meeting him...
Change my life...
I seems not to be myself...
Not the one that everyone known...
My bestie said so...
My family said so...
And him?
If we have not met...
Well he would have been gaming all day long...
Leading the life aimlessly...
Working once awhile to survive...
Is fate...
Or should I say...
Is destiny to say when, who and where you will meet and know someone...
The thing is that what happen two months ago change our life...
Is very difficult to forgive and forget...
Even if I want to...
Is really that difficult...
But well...
He have to compromise me with regard to this...
Is not I want...
And if it doesn't happen...
I won't be like this and never will...
Well...
I just hate what I am now...
Easy nervous...
Insecure...
Fear...
Going bangkok...
Again and soon...
But well...
Kinda cock up...
Jiejie there delay...
Deardear there rush...
Haix...
7:50 PM
i pledge my love for you.
conincidence? or fate?
today deardear...
dunno why suddenly..
just out of a sudden...
kena pissed by things happening...
den dun want meet...
and we couldn't contact because his HP no batt...
I was wondering... where do i go?
His house to wait for him?
Cck to try my luck?
Or just go home?
my train was moving and it reaches jurong east...
i was wondering will i be able to see him?
the chance was so glimpse..
i thought to myself...
there are so many gate... and how can he be at my gate?
there are so many train..
probably he had took the other one and had not reach yet..
but well...
I SAW HIM...
I AM DAMM FUCKING SHOCK!!!
i am very very very happy lo...
no words can describe my happiness and shock..
at first I thought it was my imagination...
how can it be?
I must have think too much...
but i look again...
IS HIM REALLY HIM LO!!!
I DUNNO HOW TO SAY!!!
BUT DAMMM HAPPY NOR...
though he give me that stupid face....
that idiot attitude...
but still very happy...
both of us are too close...
both of us are from different world...
so there is like.... 0.0001% of chance that we can meet.. coincidentally...
and we met...
I was like?
is it true?
i dunno...
but well..
together so long...
really so long...
it was really the first time...
we met..
unknowingly....
the 3rd thing...
I think we were really fated...
destinied to be....
8:51 AM
i pledge my love for you.
Dunno why...
i felt harder and harder...
very difficult...
feeling seems to have fade...
however it doesn't seems so because whenwe are together I can feel how strong it is...
or should i rather say...
our changes isn't suitable..
i know is just for a short period...
i know i have to compromise and endure...
however.......
i can't......
i mean... it begain more and more difficult...
I love him...
more than i thought i am...
there are things that i do not wish to give in at all...
i dislike or rather i hate it to core...
but i have no choice but to give in...
to prevent quarreling....
But that is not me...
i mean......
i can.....
let u face computer.....
but u ask me let u face people...
females + males....
i can't...
i mean ya...
not as if you go a outing you will like someone or what...
but the problem is...
I mean i love u...
and thats the problem.....
i dont want seriously and very dont want...
u to go...
moreover alone.....
is so weird..
i hate changes...
is like.......
i dont know...
i am suffering...
so do u.....
but my suffering is cause by u...
ur suffering is u create it for urself......
i dont know...
i just want u 24/7...
thats all...
i know u will say...
cannot...
but i dont care...
this is what i want....
u say selfish or what by all means......
because i just dun wanna to let go not even for a single second...
exam coming just on tues... if u really go out... i think i have no mood to study at all....
I dont want to quarrel...
but...
i dunno how to dont quarrel....
i seriously hope... u can give in...
i dont know...
i am ur gf...
ur wtb...
i dunno...
i want whole world to know that...
i nid ur presence........
is it that difficult?
ai ni zai xin kou nan kai.........
god... i dun understand why u let us meet....
are we fated to be?
i dunno why is there a need to meet and fall for each other....
i dun like the way it is now....
i wanna end all these crap.......
i just wanna be tgt 24/7...
live in africa i oso happy... :(
si lim ma don chou lim ma don...
i dun lyk changes la....
ur courting promise got 1 say wun change HOR!!!
NWC change i tell u i hate it and dun lyk...
i am someone live in the past...
not present...
i dun lyk changes...
i am stubborn......
i am contented...
cox changes doesnt make things better but worst....
can't u feel?
when we are together...
we both know..
we love each other deeply...
but... whenever we talk about changes...
both of us know that...
thigns will somehow end one day....
1:27 AM
i pledge my love for you.
things get better...
we manage to talk and compromise... :)
however now...
this very moment...
I am not feeling very good...
Somehow or rather I thought of the past...
I hate it...
really do..
i could'nt let go.....
i want to forget that single incident.......
i mean why should this happen...?
I hate her...
now..
seriously....
don't know why but i hate her...
for being such a bitch..
for don't know what is zi ai.........
i hate him..
seriously...
for don't know what to push away...........
FOR DON'T KNOW WHAT IS FUCKING HURT AND FUCKING BETRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE BOTH OF YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!!
YOU TWO HURT ME...
I DON'T CARE WHY, WHO HOW AND ETC!!!!
THE FACT IS THAT IT HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND CAN NEVER BE THE SAME ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CAN / DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND MY FEELING?
WHY MUST ALL THESE SHIT OR CRAP HAPPEN TO ME?
11:01 PM
i pledge my love for you.
fate destiny?
ma long? (i horse he dragon)
few days ago then I found out both of us actually born on the same day...
23/01/1990 was a tuesday...
08/03/1988 was a tuesday...
i mean abit too conincidence le...........
fated before we are born.....
70% I believe that we are desitinied to be together....
another 30% is up till i found another thing we are fated or it is up to us to create.........
later meeting him...
heart thumping damm fast...
hope everything turn out well... :)
I have to learn to be more comprimising :)
11:55 PM
i pledge my love for you.
Watching drama...
only make me think of him...
i miss him..
god...
why you are so cruel...
you make me love him...
you make me miss him...
you make me fall for him...
Then you wanna take him away from me.......
he wanna leave me.....
god i beg for your mercy....
if after this weekend he were to leave me...
please let me forget him..
erase all my memories with him...
yes indeed they are the most beautiful memories in my life...
but because of the beautiful memories...
i kill me when i am only left with memories..
if.....
my lmd......
the one and only is to leave my world....
then please......
let me forget him.....
forever and ever..........
i really love him.....
9:32 AM
i pledge my love for you.
yes...
there is something that he have been hiding all along....
he just don't want to let me know.....
2:38 AM
i pledge my love for you.
Well....
YTD watch ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni....
I have think and review my own relationship...
I feel like unless is true love...
last till eternity....
if not so what if we are together?
Just wasting each other time...
if now what he / we want is not a long lasting RS...
this friday have to take about with him...
Ytd he say...
We do not have to break...
is just that my own selfishness does not allow his way...
But once again..
I am thinking...
I am the selfish one? Or him?
Well I don't know but somehow or rather I feel that he need some space for himself...
some personal space...
I guess me too...
But well there is a limit to that...
We still have to be like normal couple...
But maybe not that sticky.
So one week...
1day is mine...
the other is his...
once / twice in a month then I have the wholeweekend...
It would be best...
He can come my house and go his house stay at the same time...
We are together yet he have a day full to play his own game...
And I can have it to go out with my girlfriend and stuff...
It will never be good if meet on alternative week or so...
Because I suppose I will go and bother him and stuff...
Or miss him too much keep ask him to meet...
this will not just irritate him...
But me too...
So a relationship...
need comprimise...
I am willing to give in...
Now it lies on you baby...
Well today in the morning I found out that I LOST ANOTHER 2 KG!!!!!
So now I am 59kg!!!! all in all i DROP 7KG!!!
hahahah...
so happy...
lolx..
ok I know still fat...
but at least is 50+ loh!!! :)
by end of oct...
I think I will be 50kg le...^^ back to my figure last time...
heex...
7:10 PM
i pledge my love for you.
Necklace...
lost le....
deardear throw away his necklace le.......
heartbroken....
is his bday present loh...
I buy for him de...
but he throw away le........
haix...
is either we buy the ring?
or no le.......
12:50 AM
i pledge my love for you.
I have relax.
Cool down and thought over.
These weekend what am i going to do?
priority is of course to win him back. :)
start afresh and both try to comprimise. :)
this would be the best :)
another thing is hypnosis.
This have been in my mine for very very long.
Just done a few research and what i was thinking all along was right.
Some memories can be hidden or erase.
I can use this to forget him and let him go.
So at least the one I love most can be happy. :)
But well I need him to be by my side for now.
At least awhile before I had the money and go for the treatment :)
After that I want to sign treaty with him.
I remember don't like to have god brother or sister.
But that time he was courting me.
I proposed this idea.
But he rejected because he want to be only couple.
So now.
Since there is no turn back.
Ok fine. :)
He will be my God Brother.
Take care of me like what he promise but not as my lover.
Because I treasure this relationship alot.
I hope in end we still can keep in touch in some special status.
I don't want to be friends because I know i might have false hope if eventually I remember everything after I hypnotise.
And this brother-sister relationship will let us know that forever.
There is no turn back.
Being stranger I know one day if I were to miss him or remember him all those stupid things wil come out again.
So for the sake of me and him.
Or should I say him to be happy forever and ever.
I had decided.
I will take him to be my brother if we break up :)
Yes, no doubt I love him.
No doubt I don't want to let go.
No doubt I will agree to anything to save this relationship.
But if in the end he really don't want to continue this relationship.
He don't want to continue to love me.
I have to let him go.
He have to be happy.
I can be sad.
I can be miserable.
I can go die or whatever.
But the one I love most which is him.
Lim ma don.
He have to live happily ever after :)
if 070707 have to be a memory.
I hope it will be a good memory in his mind.
Whereas yes it is the best memories in my life.
But well.
I have to forget in order to let go.
I hope the 2years can also be the most wonderful days and meaningiest days in his life.
For that we will be friends till eternity if in the end we can't be husband and wife till eternity.
Because I had always long to have a older brother to protect me and love me as a sister.
Hope we can be together my deardear.
But if we can't like I promise I will let you go :) But I need some time and I am sorry to say you have to standby me for awhile before you are freed.
8:25 PM
i pledge my love for you.
he told me everything...
suddenly i find that i am so cheap...
and things i do...
he dont appreciate...
i am soo tired...
everyone ask me to let go...
beg me to let go...
sorry for those i have hurt...
sorry for my stubborness but...
all in all is just because i love him too much...
but this coming weekend is my last chance...
if reall can't then i will forget... :)
because i can't let go...
i can only force myself to forget him totally..
i was once....
priceless in his heart....
but now...
i had become worthless.......
no one will understand how much it hurts....
no one ever will........
for this relationship...
for him...
i put in my heart and soul....
but in end...
this is what i get.......
......................
.............
............
am i really nothing?
what a laughing stock...
you foolish stupid girl.....
your stupidity....
no one can compare or out win you.................
1:16 AM
i pledge my love for you.
787 days..
since 070707
together v.v.v.v.long le.......
lolx.....
rem last time...
deardear count in minutes too.. ^^
well...
i know he care...
but he is way too stubborn le... no choice...
i love him...
hmm... let me think of what to type...
i saw nowell fortune cookie says..
to love is to fogive...
yup....
i always can't think of why and how people forgive those that betray them, their trust and love...
but now i been through i understand...
when you love someone deep enough...
no matter what he or she does...
you will forgive...
because that is called love....
love bear no grudges...
i said in my facebook...
Even he told me he has 1000girls or he love 1000girls...
i know in his heart...
there is only me...
:)
words can lie but feeling can't....
i see and feel it with my heart......
When I face a stubborn guy....
I have to have strong confidence of myself...
especially i pick a guy...
that is stubborn, hot temper, like to lie and tease me...
what i like about this guy?
I dislike everything about him...
yet at the sametime i love everything about him.... :)
trust is the word that a relationship needs other than love...
8:49 PM
i pledge my love for you.
after reflecting on myself...
i learn what is trust...
if my little naughty boy were to really get a girl or flirt...
he wouldnt even bother me...
because i am no one to him....
but him bother to wake up in the midnight to text me...
to kiss me...
means that i am important...
very....
he is easily irritated...
but well no... he didnt :)
he text me and tell me he wasnt scolding me....
how sweet could that be...
i mean yes...
i can never deny that i am super duper sensitive over him...
no choice mah...
my boy leh...
now rs so rocky...
later pple snatch how?
he is mine leh....
lim ma don only belong to winnie tan hwee khim loh...
no one else...
selfish?
yes.. dont care...
unreasonable?
yes... dont care....
who ask him is my bf....
u all wan u all take other guy...
he is mine...
taken liao...
unavailable liao...
dun care...
die oso dun care..
humph
10:02 PM
i pledge my love for you.
deardear say he got girl...
he say he got girl...
how?
haix...
cox i saw his fb...
den ask him he got girl issit?
he replied...
yaya got jiu got...
den i ask again he say got..
i say really?
he say yes i have. happy?
is lyk my whole heart sank....
i know he dont have...
i know he love me...
but him replying tell me got...
i everything lost le...
what should i do...
i am so scared...
what if really he have?
lunch now...
but not going eat...
no appetite at all....
9:05 PM
i pledge my love for you.
Hiaz...
i dunno...
i really dunno...
heart dead and love...
which 1 to chose...
I love him...
yet things that he had done had hurt me too deep...
however,
i chose to forgive...
thats the only i could do..
things slightly getting better bah?
ytd midnight...
i text dear...
actually just normal texting him...
not thinking that he will reply...
cox he must be sleeping at that time...
1 plus 2 am...
but you know what?
deardear reply me worx...!!!!
never scold me nor nothing...
he reply muacks :-*
and ask if this would make me sleep better :)
heex....
dam happy...
den he say dont wake him up again...
he very tired...
but hor...
he added...
not scolding me ^^
heex...........
my deardear lo...
that is my deardear...
i damm happy nor...
although in the end i didnt get to sleep because of dumb and bu shu fu...
but well.... for that msg...
it is worth while lo........
today text deardear....
just lyk erm.... half an hour ago? but he never reply... :(
maybe he is having HLS now bahx?
heex...
for ytd nite that he will reply me...
i believe he will continue to do so de...
because he is my dear...
the one i love most...
wholeheartedly... ^^
i love you, my htb....
i really do...
ehtono!!! deardear reply le!!!!! ^^ heex
6:18 PM
i pledge my love for you.
hmm...
i duno...
what is the meaning of love?
they say if i find dear first...
forever i will be under his control...
and will be taken forgranted...
but thats not love isnt it?
I mean ....
love doesnt matter who is under who...
or should i say both is equally important...
we have our own strength and weakness..
isnt it?
Why do we have to count and stuff?
I dunno...
I felt lost...
confused...
scare...
together 2years 2months...
I would say ....
married for 2years 2 months will be more appropriate...
because we have been staying together...
telling me to let go this r/s....
is totally impossible...
i wonder...
how he could?
or I guess he never too..
just stress...
we manage to sms...
as i send wrong msg to him...
and hell...
he know everything that I am thinking...
after that i ask him out to meet and etc..
though he reply is extremely attitude i would say...
but he is just vending his anger...
so i am ok...
at least he replied me... :)
he is not that heartles afterall...
i am sure...
i am still something inside his heart...
Many say i am being stupid...
Many say he is a jerk and etc...
ya maybe?
i agree too...
but nevertheless...
he is the one i chose to go down my life with...
blinded by love?
yes maybe?
because to me..
yes he is not worth it...
but my heart say he worth...
than anything else...
i can even use my life to exchange it with...
I feel fortunate...
or at least...
to myself...
at least in my heart I trust...
if not....
this r/s story might really end..
despite whatever he had done...
despite those hurtful words he had said...
i am hurt definitely...
heart shattered...
but well...
i believe that is not him...
not the one i known for years...
not the one i love....
he is just hiding...
making himself stronger...
pushing everyone away...
just like last time...
yes...
you guyz might think I am naive...
to believe what i am thinking...
but well...
that is what I call love...
I love him...
that why i sacrifice...
i love him...
that why i stay even when i am hurt...
i love him...
that why i never agree to others...
i love him...
that why i am holding on tight despite him asking me to let go...
my piggy jiejie....
do you know...
how much i actually love you?
do you know?
do you know the girl you had love for the past 2years is feeling miserable now...
because you are keep pushing her away...
your promise to change might have gone...
your feeling might have gone...
but she is still there...
is actually very simple to make her go away...
just kill her with a knife..
she will graduallly appreciate that...
to be honest....
i seriously rather you kill me or i die than going through what i am going through now....
for love i trust..
for love i forgive..
for love i stay...
for love i am holding on..
boy you know? how much i miss you now? how much i long to kiss and hug you?
i am not obessed about you or went crazy about you...
is just that i love you...
way too much...
till the extent...
i love you more than myself...............
6:55 PM
i pledge my love for you.
damm sick... feel like vomit... haix....
12:24 AM
i pledge my love for you.
Haiz....
getting worse....
today never really sleep... go toilet and etc...
my face turn green lo...
bt lucky no one see...
cox early in the morning...
except yami...
then come the xxx msg me.... (cannot reveal his name... incase deardear is reading)
in my blog i call u deardear....
deardear
deardear
you cannot do anything also ...
humph..
ok that not the important point...
the important point is....
half way msg with xxx....
when i reply...
i too use to text deardear le ma...
den press too fast...
msg till his there leh!!!!!
PRESS CANCEL ALSO TOO LATE LIAO...
can you imagine?
I dammmm fucking angry lo...
the msg is not a normal chatting msg leh...
everything I dont want that idiot to know de....
after reading the msg...
he everything will know le lo...
can you imagine?
ai ya....
i dont know la...
is like dont know he got read or not? pray hard he never la hor...
see my name jiu delete away le...
but if he read how?
what should i do?
I really dont know sia.... i mean what should i do?
he know that........
i still care and love him....
i really dont know...
i am so lost..
i thought i can still hide...
you idiot la!!!!
2years nothing we msg so much for what?
Make me use to it....
I already v. becareful these few days sms people never send till your there liao...
but now leh?
you de yi le la!!!! happy le la.... zzz
NAUGHTY BOY LA....
i dont know my past life owe you what sia.... got secret also cannot hide from you.... Zzzzzzz
haiz.....
my life?
6:49 PM
i pledge my love for you.
I know is stupid...
everyone is saying so..
but can someone tell him...
boy i am waiting for you...
yes i know is stupid...
i know is silly after what ever happen...
everyone say that he is not worth it....
but deardear....
I love you! I really do.....
i am still waiting for your return............
still waiting........
2:54 AM
i pledge my love for you.
I thought....
i once thought..
we are fated and destiny to be together........
because... we gone through so many things...
we are like husband and wife more than just a normal couple....
and before i was born...
"yue lao" already tied us together....
because his name is "ma long"
so coincidence...
his zodiac is dragon - long
mine is horse - ma
his ex... none of them is zodiac - ma...
that was the day...
i know...
we are destiny and fated to be together...
many would say...
zodiac...
is very common...
and yes...
but i believe..
if we were not the one...
out of his 4ex... 1 of them could be zodiac horse...
or maybe his future 1 bahx?
but so far none..
thats why we are special...
that why after so many things...
we thought we will be seperate...
but still together....
yue lao....
can i ask you something....
if we are really destinied to be together....
dont give us any more "kao yan" can?
I very tired le....
my heart already broken le......
if we are fated....
can you kindly just let us be together?
because... without him is as good as torturing me...
i am a nut shell......
i feel v. xin ku....
zhen de zhen de zhen de............
hen xin ku.........
:'(
wo xu yao ta......
wo ai ta........
ke shi........
ta zhi dao ma? :'(
12:30 AM
i pledge my love for you.
its been going 2 days since we last contacted...
I am scared...
to face everything alone...
yet i have to do it...
he is no longer with me.. anymore? i suppose?
I need him...
His support...
I read something and it says...
"let him see the world and believe that after he see the world he will come back to your arms"
my sentence would be...
"he saw the world and decided not to come back anymore"
everyone tell me...
if he love you...
one day he will come back for you...
i used to at least maybe believe that...
he just need to sort thing out..
eventually he will come back and explain to me...
he just need sometimes alone...
but after tuesday....
those words he said to me....
those tones....
i have no confident at all.....
its seems that this r/s had already mark a fullstop...
i remember before i agree to be LMD's gf...
he said...
I will treasure you and cherish you like one ever did...
I will not be like them and neglect your feelings...
I will let you be the happiest woman in the world...
I will never let you tear...
I will never cheat on you....
I will never ever............
let you go.............
these sentences....
keep appearing in my mind..........
but that was just..........
that was just..........
what he said.........
he did it.....
but the opposite...........
the opposite...........
for him treating me like this....
I only got 2 idea on why...
1) He just need sometimes alone now.... trust that he do love me....
2) He just dont want to be with me... he don't love me anymore.......
Is cruel to face the fact....
Reality is always cruel.....
Face the fact that he leave me....
he force me to leave...
he want me to leave......
imagine........
the one you love most tell you...
I dont want to see you...
Never want to see you again....
Even after a decade i also dont want to see you.....
imagine.......
you forgive him........
you forgive whatever he had done that hurt you......
he beg you to stay....
you stay....
and now...
he ask you to leave......
i don't know...
i really don't know...
which to believe in....
the angel htb....
or the devil don?
i am heartbroken...
heart dead....
i am being stabbed...
all over my overheart, body and soul.....
does he know?
does he care?
he said before...
every single night he is crying when i am not with him.....
even when he say break....
what about now?
also the same?
Am i being miss?
every single second?
I wonder......
I love you is true?
or
I dont want be with you is true?
6:14 PM
i pledge my love for you.
to love someone....
is to let go?
LOLX...
that is totally bullshit....
I never let you go...
never will...
because you will be in my heart...
forever... :)
But now...
my heart is dead...
truly dead...
whatever it is...
I will face myself...
Dun worry...
Like you say is my own business...
If i were to die...
then ok...
by all means...
is ok...
Doesnt matter anymore...
today i realise...
whatever you have said in the past...
every single thing...
is just dream...
and now i am awake...
your love...
to me...
doesnt and wont matter anymore...
for those silly things I have done for you.....
i wont regret...
because I put in effort and love...
alot alot...
but now.......
wont le...
i will never ever do all these stuff anymore......
you said those 2 years wasnt meaningless and stuff...
but ha.....
don...
from now i will only call you don...
the 2yrs if really the happiest days in your life...
you wont say all these to me...
whatever that I had heard from you today...
from your mouth...
i believe is from your heart...
I dont matter to you at all...
since that the case..
you dont want to treasure me...
dont want to cherish me..
ok...
fine..
someone else would..
our 070707 end....
story mark with a fullstop...
blogskin and stuff never change...
you dont misunderstand...
is not for you...
is for the piggy jie jie... my deardear...
the one I had love before with my heart,body,mind,spirit and soul....
you want do what i cannot do anything...
you want to destroy yourself...
then up to you....
i cant do anything...
i wont do anything...
i dont want to care anymore...
you want you take good care of yourself...
you dont want then i cant help...
if your parents doesnt care...
if you dont care...
or you get a gf tt doesnt care then up to u...
is ur fate...
ur life...
not mine...
i will only say once...
take good care of yourself..
work time becareful..
dun get hurt...
eat and slp in regular manner...
game can play...
but got limit...
the rest...
is up to..
now your EX- laopo...
leave le...
k?
I walk out of your world totally...
dont worry...
I wont go bother you anymore...
I wont text anyone...
I wont even care...
:)
what you want..
you said on phone..
i grant your wish...
i will never ever appear infront of you anymore..
i will not disappear..
bt i will vanish from your world totally...
whatever happen..
i will face myself..
i dont need you to be by my side...
dont tell me you will be by my side..
i am naive...
to actually believe...
believe eternity...
believe that there is you forever...
believe this lifetime and many more....
you will always stay by my side...
bu li bu qi...
to believe that you love me...
believe that i am the most important thing in your life..
your everything...
no...
:)
I AM NOT :)
but is ok...
it doesnt matter anymore...
for what you have done..
is enough le...
this relationship...
yes 2years 2months only...
but infact we got tgt for 2 and a half years...
This period... i learn alot...
i learn what is love...
how to love..
and receive love...
but what i learn most is...
i am too naive that there is tian chang di jiu...
i am too naive to believe every single thing you say...
even if they seem so impossible..
i learn...
i learn what the meaning of getting hurt...
i learn..
i learn what the meaning of pian ti ling shang...
i learn...
i learn what is stupidity...
I never regret to love you...
never regret for everything i have done...
but trust me......
if time go back...
i were to be able to choose again..
i wont give you a chance to show me what is love..
because in the end i left with hurt...
is ok...
everyone has to grow and learn...
at least i learn something...
at least i saw the true side of you...
at least...
thanks to you...
i will never ever believe in love anymore...
i wont...
is ok.....
i dont deny...
2years..
is the happiest thing in my life...
because i truly love you...
although two years i gone through so many things...
nearly end my life...
but the sweet memories will stay...
in my heart...
forever...
the hurtful stuff will never fade also...
never will... :)
we shouldnt have be together...
i shouldnt have give you chance...
because..
we are not suitable..
we are from 2 different world...
we got nothing in common...
i said before...
but so?
no use.. :)
what done can never be undone...
since...
that day i agree to be your girlfriend...
I have never ever think that i will regret...
even what happen now...
i still wont regret...
because i chose it...
i chose to be your girlfriend.
i chose you to be my boyfriend...
so there is no one i can blame..
except myself...
for believe in your eternity...
for belive in true love forever...
but now no le...
winnie tan hwee khim has grown up...
she is no longer a girl...
she is a woman le...
she wont do all these stuff...
she wont care anymore..
:) If i am going to leave this world...
I dont want you to shed a tear...
not a single one...
not because i dont want you sad...
because...
you are not fit...
you are not fit to cry...
Lim ma don..
i am telling you now...
"AI WO ZHI SHI NI KAI KOU DE WAN XIAO"
the next girl you were to take as your girlfriend...
you better be awake and dont hurt people...
you better be...
dont think people treat you good...
love you and etc...
is natural..
and took it forgranted...
it is not a must...
but nevertheless everything lies with you...
i am not your who..
and i am not going to care at all :)
ok...
I hereby announce...
I WINNIE TAN HWEE KHIM HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LIM MA DON...
WHATEVER HAPPEN TO ME IS NONE OF HIS BUSINESS..
WHATEVER HAPPEN TO HIM IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS...
WE ARE NO LONGER COUPLE....
WE HAD BREAKUP~ ^^
there is nothing to be sad about...
I should be happy...
at least i dont need to suffer anymore...
i dont need to face and believe and survive in lies anymore..
you dont worth my love...
you dont..
:)
but well i never regret loving you too..
eventhough yes you are not worth it...
that all ...
bye deardear.... my piggy jie jie...
i bidding goodbye to you...
the one i love most in my life...
more than myself...
you had gone and disappear..
now is my turn...
i miss you ..
i love you...
but it will only be kept in my heart...
PIGGY JIE JIE, deardear!!! LAOGONG LAOGONG LAOGONG LAOGONG LAOGONG LAOGONG LAOGONG WO AI NI!!!!
ZHEN DE ZHEN DE HEN AI HEN AI NI!!!
but now... i am leaving le..
BYEBYE!!!!!!!!!!
SORRY!!!
BUT I WONT AND NOT GOING TO KEEP THE PROMISE ANYMORE...
I WILL NEVER EVER STAY BY YOUR SIDE ANYMORE...
I AM NOT THE ONE..
NEITHER ARE YOU...
BYE.
6:02 AM
i pledge my love for you.
I have decided......
To married him.....
I don't want him under stress....
I don't want him doubt....
I don't want myself to go crazy....
I need assurance....
He need it too....
6:22 PM
i pledge my love for you.
haix... my heart is beating soooooooo fast... I wonder will him come find me? but i guess that is a miracle bahx.. i dont know... damm scare... dammm scared........ i coward till dun even dare to try to call his hp to see if it is still on... i don't know... very scare.... haix... duno...
but i wana tell my dear...
DEARDEAR HTB...
HAPPY 2YEARS 2MONTHS ANNIVERSARY!!!!
WO AI NI SHEN SHEN SHI SHI... YONG BU FEN LI!!!!!!!!!
AI NI!!! MUACKX...
1:48 AM
i pledge my love for you.
2years2months...
same as last month...
this month he wasnt with me too..
he took leave...
I went to see him today morning just to check.. and yes.. he was playing games...
I wonder...
I really wonder...
why he became like this...
game game game... 6am + in the morning and he still playing games.. 7plus go slp? sleep until evening then wake up.... can you imagine? back to him... the don i know before we stead... everynight just game/anime/manga.... that is his life...
My heart sank... I saw him... den i went to the door... where the living room is... i said...
happy 2years2months anniversary...
then i left......
I dont know.. i really dont know...
what on earth is happening....
to him.....
today he took leave.. specially for me.. but he lied that itwas not confirm to give me surprise... but u know what? he took it for me... but again... we never use the leave together.. in fact alone...
all of them ask me to leave him alone...
give him some space to think...
what if i leave him alone...
and he never ever coming back to me anymore?
I took alot alot of courage to stay and not leave him last month...
this time round...
if he leave...
I will never ever be able to take it anymore....
he is my htb... no longer just a bf so simple.......
i really love him to the extent that i can die for him...
but what about him?
what is he thinking now? i really dont know... really.....
htb... can u tell me... am i ur ex? or future+ present?
we never break up... but ur mum say we are...
what exactly going on...?
can anyone tell me? i really dont know....................
6:05 PM
i pledge my love for you.
TODAY...
i went... to look... for my HTB... :)
12pm....
saw him sleeping...
Waited till 7pm I went off...
7hr... to see if we were fated...
He woke up...
at 6pm roughly...
Saw his face.....
but...
I don't know... if he saw me..
But i suppose he did...
Before that I look through the window.. saw him sleeping..
HTB.. we are so far yet so near....
I left and use the bottle i drink...
go pluck flower and put them in...
Like what he did last time...
I put a plaster to form a 7 shape...
If he is my htb...
a little sensitive one...
He will understand...
7 =me....
flower in the bottle is our memories... i hang it first time... the delivery man who deliver food came.. and the mom open door... and throw my bottle away.. =.=
i suppose either she know is i put 1 and dont want let madon see... or she just thought it was thrash and throw it away... so i hang it again after the door close...
if my boy... and me... were fated somehow... he will be the one who see the bottle hanging there... so I dont know... leave to fate bahx... whether he saw it or not... i cannot say anything...
My Htb...I don't know what happen...
When my HTB... kiss me and send me home...
text me good night muacks...
But ended up... I left with total ignore when he was suppose to meet me the next day...
Is ok.. That he didnt make it...
Is ok... That I come to find him...
But it will never ever be ok..
When he swear and promise not to leave me alone again...
Not to treat me like this ever again...
He hug me tight and promise you know? He promise me you know?
But now leh?
He ask me to trust and believe him but now leh?
And yes... I am correct...
His parents have been giving him propaganda and pressure to ask him to break off with me...
This come out from his dad mouth...
My deardear... My HTB... he was always so strong... He wouldnt care what happen.. He will never give in... regarding me... But now?
I really dont know le... You say u love me...... you say you really do...
You say you need time... but you still love me...
Shall I trust you? Or should I say can I trust you?
They say if I mean to you... you will come find me.. will you?
Will you? I really wonder....
my heart is already shattered into pieces.......
my surprise? My christmas? My bday? My valentine? I wonder.... would you be there?
you say my surprise I will get it after you come back from austrialia... I will be damm happy... I wonder... now? will I still be receiving it then?
04/09/2009 Friday
10:26pm
Htb
Msg: Good night muacks.
04/09/2009 Friday
02: 36pm
Htb
Msg: My wtb lo. She is the pretty and sexy girl. ..........................................................(cannot reveal)
03/09/2009 Thurssay
06:59pm
Htb
Msg: Sorry. Love you.
02/09/2009
09:21pm
Htb
Msg: Good night. Sweet dreams. Muacks. Love you. Rest well ok. I love you :-*
01/09/2009
11:46pm
Htb
Msg: Promise. Muacks. Go rest then.
20/08/2009
10:49am
Htb
Msg: I wont betray you ever. But i will go crazy like that day when you force me.
19/08/2009
01:16am
Htb
Msg: And chase back la. But I will kill anyone who tries to get you because you are mine alone.
19/08/2009
12:33am
Htb
Msg: You say what you want. I bu chang you.
18/08/2009
11:40pm
Htb
Msg: Sexy. Considerate. Full of love for the one you love. Horny :p cute. when you are angry or sad you look really cute. You just attract me.
18/08/2009
12:27pm
Msg: U ans me.
do u love me? Of course.
are you sorry? Yes
will you change and never repeat your mistake again? Yes
will u regret if u loss me? Yes
i dont love u do u stil want to be with me? Yes
why? No why.
answer all in detail den i gave u my exact ans.
17/08/09
10:31pm
Htb
Msg: Of course i love you. And of course it is not meaningless at all. Its the happiest days of my life. Knowing you give me life.
All these sms and many more... I still keep them with me... Are they from the bottom of your heart or?
I love you, my htb... I really do....
what about you?
tomorrow is 2year 2months anniversary... you promise to celebrate together... then what is it now?
4:42 AM
i pledge my love for you.
I love you...HTB...But you left me alone.....Again.........This time round I am lost......I really don't know...What to do......You say you will come and look for me...You say I am your sexy and pretty WTB...You say you need me...You say I am important...You say you love me.......................You say that.......... I love you, my HTB...I really do... But you hurt me again..........But your silly girl here........ Nevertheless.........still......Forgive you....... Pic above is an evidence.....HTB...these 3 letters is meant for my one and only ah toot.....
5:22 AM
i pledge my love for you.
I am so damm stress about it.. really.... deardear cannot take it... neither can I...
He keep in contact with his family members just to get extra money...
I mean at first it is totally nothing wrong with going back to his house...
I always thought... But no... I finally realised that his family members are givign him alot of stress.. Forcing him in one way or another... Before anything happen.. I thought is always fine... but now.. strictly no.. not at all... I am sick and tired of it... I don't know who had force him... or with what... But ya... Seriously...though we are poor... We are in need of money... but anything cannot be compare to him... To me he is the most important one... I cannot afford to lose him... Leaving him alone at the stress area result to nothing but him giving stress to me...
You know just by him going back to his own house... Just by him contacting with his parents... I receive nothing but crap you know? Stress!!! I know his motive... He is trying hard... He have his reason to stay... Last week... I still can endure and thought everything should be quite fine... Is ok de... nothing de... but now!!! hell no ok!!!!
I don't know how I can deliver this message to him that...
HE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY! I SERIOUSLY DON'T NEED HIM TO GET MONEY FROM HIS PARENTS!!!!! REALLY DON'T NEED!!! AND THATS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this whole situation is getting out of control... I know he feel very difficult.. I know he cannot take it anymore... But I can't let him have his way.. I mean is totally not correct...
Being close with his parents just to get money is wrong already...
Because of money parents on upperhand keep forcing him nagging at him and etc is more wrong...
Because of that spoil our relationship is wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong la.. =.=
I mean I am nuts if I am going to let this continue you know? How could I? Cannot loh... these things are like sooo important to me............ Honestly.. Is my HTB that is important to me.... I mean... he will go crazy anytime... I don't want... I rather $2 share one plate of chicken rice... That all... Enough le... I mean really... ok? From now on... I only want him to be by my side 24/7.. though yes I am hurt badly... But who ask me love him so much... Most important thing now is to clear everything... And let him happy...
about me? Next time then say bahx...... that 1 is up to him what to do.........
I only hope... matter can solve today.... I don't want anymore stress le... I cannot take it..... I dun want to end up in IMH sia=.=
I love you, my HTB.... I really do......................
6:04 PM
i pledge my love for you.
Though...
very very very unhappy.......
But well.. at least on tuesday night... something nice happen...
Dear and me went to pool fusion 3 to get table and wait for my friends...
Then he wanted to go toilet...
But wasn't willing for me to wait alone the pool area or outside the toilet area was too queit and ULU... so he ask me go inside girl toilet and wait for him... anything just shout...
So at night really damm ulu and quiet...
I went to the toilet...
After I done I open the door... but it cannot be unlock...
I told myself is ok wait awhile.. try again..
I TRIED 4TIMES AND CANNOT....
So I shouted DAMMMM LOUD FOR MY DEAR... Split second.....
He replied... Den He rush out... Den I found the way to unlock it... cause need to press 1 small pathetic button... LOL... dammm freaking scary....
:P He also thought what happen... Then we hug with each other then ok le... :) haha..
Well to me... it shows that he really care... and I am really important....
Remember few months ago I nearly died during his birthday party....
I swim and suddenly choke with water and leg cramp... Nearly drown.... But thanks to Lihao and Guangsheng.... I am save... but really I mean 2-3minute more... they never make it to bring me to a safe place... I am dead for sure.... Deardear dont know how to swim at all.. He went upfront to pull me too... Well, He cried... really cried... he was so scare that he hug me dammm tight... really tight..... As if that if he didn't do so I will disappear......... From then on he don't allow me to swim =.= lolx... Zzzz....
Well, its really like a puzzle... you won't know whether is a perfect puzzle or is it lack of a few pieces until everything finish... There are times I felt insecure... I am like nothing to him...
But there are also times it shows that I really mean something to him... Something that he cannot lose........... I hope......................... that this puzzle is a perfect one despite some scratches here and there...
12:47 AM
i pledge my love for you.
Don't know should be angry or happy...
I use facebook deardear angry...
And do not allow...
Even threathen to break...
Which I really don't like...
And some of you might found it stupid...
But think it in another way....
He is still that possesive guy as ever......
I belong to him only mindset...
Though is selfish... But I like this selfishness...
As this is to me only...
Only me and no one else.... :)
But I would prefer if he can say his feeling by not hurting my feelings...
Need to be improve ok?
My naughty boy...
12:20 AM
i pledge my love for you.
sorry...
well......
the very first time...
going one month le...
he say it to me......
from the bottom of his heart...
without me telling him anything.....
without me asking.....
he apologise.........
for hurting me...
I was touch...
yet hurt at the same time...
Looking back at those card he gave to me. It was sweet...
I remember the first card ... he did something wrong.....
and I initiate a breakup.. I was firm then...
He ask for a meetup...
so I gave him a chance...
He give me a card...
Written with sorry and etc.....
He said.... he promise to make me the most happiest woman in the world...
He will never ever do anything wrong anymore..........
But now???
All the promises seem so real.......
but none......... seriously none of them he had done it... I feel so tired.... really do.....
I am sooo hurt........
that....
yesterday...
I brokedown..
I cried.......
I don't know what to do now...
Things seems so different....
Do we still love each other?
Can things go back to be the same?
Someone just ask me...
Do I see myself in future to be blissful and happy women as Mrs Don Lim?
Honestly..............
I don't know........
What the meaning of Mrs Don Lim?
A person that Mr Don Lim treasure, love, dote and cherish?
Or is that just a title?
6:56 PM
i pledge my love for you.
Starting a new...
isnt as we as we thought it would be...
Alot of thing we have to forgive and forgo...
Alot of thing that has been done can never be undone...
The hurt that he given can never be taken away...
The trust is broken......
The love is missing or hidden....
I did some changes....
Or should I say I have change...
the way of expressing my love and etc........
He notice it...
And didn't like them...
But I don't know what to do..
I am heart broken...
He know it...
trying to avoid topic too...
He is confused and under stress...
I aren't....
Just that......
I really don't know what I can do....
it takes two hands to clap...
boi...
if you are not going to change...
or do anything....
I'm afraid...
our feeling will drift us apart......
Do you still love me like how you do in the past?
11:16 PM
i pledge my love for you.
I wonder.... who is the one that have been beside me for 2 years...
I realised... till now... I don't really know who he is....
Then why?
Why am I still holding on?
Why am I still lying to myself?
Waiting for miracle?
I don't know....
But the truth is... If I were to chose again... Now really I won't choose back the old path...
Is ok if its hurt....
Is ok to suffer and cry...
But is never never ever ok......
That the love wasn't there... or it wasn't deep enough...
I can accept alot of things...
But not towards the feelings... towards love.....
you know?
I always don't understand...
How can people two-time?
Love... is something that you can only give to one person isn't it?
Till now... I still don't understand.....
But I realised....
True love does not exist....
True Love are just two words for naive people like me to believe...
If true love does exist....
Betray will never exist...
I don't know.... Maybe I have never met the right one in the right place yet...
Or I have.. but is not at the correct time....
I don't know.......
Really.....
What do I want now?
What the purpose of it?
Ya... What if he really got something...
But nevertheless he chose it over me.....
Whatever it is...
He chose to leave me...
Yet, he keep tell me that I am the one that is outmost important...
He said that she doesn't mean anything?
Yet keep telling her, He love her and ask her out?
I want him to bring me to club...
Cannot... Don't want...
Yet, he ask her out for clubbing?
Ya.. Maybe you just say only...
But, come on...
If she were to agree? Won't you go with her?
I was so so so so so so naive to have listen and believe that you only love me.....
I am your one and only one.....
You are guilty and sorry for what you have done...
But now?
I am stupid. Yes I am. The most stupiest woman in the world is none other than the one blogging now...
I saw and heard facts...
Yet I still chose to stay...
Why?
HA..
Don't ask me that...
Seriously...
I don't know at all..
Not at all ok.....
The only thing I want to do now..
Is get everything back to the same...
And slowly find out what had been going wrong?
What happen?
Till then.....
I can't do anything...
But to suffer silently...
Yes..
I admit that I can't let go this relationship....
I may not be a good girlfriend...
But definitely a faithful one....
I put in my heart, my soul into this relationship....
I never hold back anything ....
Just like a spoilt running tap...
Water keep flowing out.....
The water = my love...
I trusted him...
alot...
alot...
alot...
You know?
I can even die for him...
I swear upon this...
If a car would come running towards him...
I will run towards him and push him away.....
If a knife would be going to be stab in his heart...
I pull him aside and let myself be the one....
If we were at the end of the edge of a high rise building...
Being force by enemy that only one to survive...
I would jump down without a second thought and keep him alive...
If one of us has to be force to drink a poisonous liquid...
I will drink it without any consideration......
My love...... is there........
everyone saw it.......
But i don't need anyone to see it...
I love him... wholeheartedly...
Always people tell me...
Your boy will finally one day leave you for another girl..
Your boy will finally one day betray you........
I will always say confidently....
If any reason he were to leave me...
It will never ever because of a girl...
He will never never never ever betray me...
I told everyone this...
No matter what I have doubt of him...
I have never never ever doubt about his heart...
His feeling towards me........
But that was just naive of me......
Girl, people do grow and change....
You have see so many examples....
Yet you trust that he is the special one?
Yes... I trusted him........
Again and again...
I forgive him....
Again and again.....
In the end........
What did I get?
Dump alone outside at plaza singapura, asking other girl/s out...., telling them he likes them and etc.........
What the hell am I?
Subsitute or reservation?
I wonder.........
Does he......................
Boy do you?
Do you ever know what is the meaning of love?
Do you ever know.......
The meaning of heartbroken............
Boy.......
you broke my heart..........
so deep...
It never stop bleeding when I chose to leave.......
You ask me to stay and forgive.........
Yet you make it bleed more than it should be........
Boy you are not the one that I know, love and stay together for two years..........
I don't know who you are........
Not anymore......................
5:50 PM
i pledge my love for you.
I don't know I really don't know... This relationship always happen like this...
Whenever one of us want to let go the other of us will pull...
If both of us want to let go then fate/destiny will come...
Yesterday..... I do not want to call dear or text him... I thought we needed some space...
I thoughtmaybe like what he said... is time to let go....... to end everything.......
No point holding on...
So... I decided.... to set alarm clock and went to bed after my tution..
I was damm shag......... Dam tired....
Dear on 07/08/09 12am sharp give me a surprise by recording a meassage and set it as my alarm.... without me knowing at all....... So even after quarrel and etc... I never touch that alarm section that he set.. as is a memories... that is very sweet... So i never touch... but dunno why.. the 4th alarm clock went there.... and it never appear at all... I was panic... sad.. despair... totally lost and broke down...
I try to reset it back to the same but can't I wonder how he did it.. As recording cannot be use for alarm tone... I have really no idea....
So... I thought to myself... should I msg him and tell him? Should I? Or is it God who is telling me... Girl is time to forget and let go...
So i decided to let go.. just call the usuall number of his... listen to the off phone tone and say bye in my heart..... As I know his hp could never be on.......
and you know what? HIS HP IS ON!!! 1 try ok... only 1 try and dear hp is on... I totally break down... I told myself since this is the case... Then I have to tell him irregardless... So I send him a message and went to sleep...
I always say he is not there for me when I need him most... We always thought we should let go... But now.. No... I can't because... fate don't let me to...
I thought before I went to bed... maybe the on phone is just a conincidence... doesn't mean he on for me...... though he did say before.... He always on phone to check how I am... Anything happen or not..
So I sleep....... AND HE COME AGAIN =.= ....... he come into my dream again... I never think of him when sleep ok.. cause I too tired... I only hug his blanket to sleep.. That all... my usual routine... and He came....... But I told him.... is ok...... I let go.....
But then he don't let... He explain to me and etc... and I felt him...... you know? Everything was so real...
You know... 2 years of steading.. I can dream of anybody but v.v.v.v. seldom... he will appear...... v.v.v.v. seldom.... the previous time when I ask him... he say ya.. he did dream of me too... another miracle? I don't know you guyz believe in meeting dream? But I believe if it is too real.... My boi.. is someone who don't dream at all... he always have a deep nice sleep....... But that day... he did.......
So ok.. I don't wanna care all these... as I have not met dear in person yet.... meet him then ask him did he come again or just my imagination?
TOday on my way to see doctor.. I text him... in the midnight time. I try to call once when I woke up for toilet... His hp was off... So I thought it can never be on.. since in the morning he must be busy or rather he know there is a high chance of me texting him... So he will not on the phone... so after texting him... I try to call once... And guess what? Yes he hp is on again....................
I really going cannot take it le lo.. keep like that... To him he say good arh... (whenever I tell him all these) but to me not very good ok.. when everyone tell me to give up.. even HIMSELF tell me to let go... and when I listen and wanted to... either he pull me back or up there... will show me something that girl.. you still have to hang on....
I don't know... I really don't know... my boi...
our couple jacket... I give boiboi 1... but dunno why... I give him... I remember damm clearly I put the XL into his bag.. give him his.... Den I am using my own 1.. which is L.... but don't know... fate hinting us again? I am using it for days. bUT i DON'T KNOW.... no wonder.. the smell so familiar.. I thought I miss him too much... then in the end.. is XL =.=... haix..... why all these thing keep happening?
I miss you boi...
I know what happen to me le..... but boi... it isn't a good news.....
What should I do? I am not strong enough.. I can't face any of this.. without you... I can't.... I really can't boi....
If one day I were to leave this world........ sooner than you and I have expected... What should I do? What will you do....
Boi.. will you leave or stay this time?
I really don't know... I can't hold it any longer.........
I need you boi.......
But am I selfish to keep you by my side?
Can I be selfish like you?
I want to......
5:43 PM
i pledge my love for you.
I am despair... Couldn't concentrate at all... I don't know what to do...
Messages of I don't love you keep flashing my mind...
What about the I love you then?
Are they real? OR just joke?
I don't know...
I am hit with a disastrous fact.... I can't take it anymore...
Hoping for saturday or weekend to come by...
I need to settle all this...
See him with my own eyes...
Feel it with my own heart.......
2years ago is it a mistake for us to meet?
It is still yet to be confirm....
2:29 AM
i pledge my love for you.
This is a new phase.........
Our relationship is riding our roller coaster... down all the way to the bottom...
what done can never be undone.......
I really don't know... really......
Trying to get it over... and have a new start...
But I seriously...
Really...
Don't know why....
Why suddenly all thess things happened?
Our relationgship is getting harder...
Every step we took... Is under so much so much stress... you know?
We both tried to give up halfway....
But whenever this happen... One of us will pull and hold it tight...
Because we know....
Deep in our heart..
How much we matter to each other...
It is irreplaceble....
But now nothing went wrong....
suddenly... this happen........
I have not gotten a reply since yesterday...
I am so lost...
I didn't know..........
Didn;t know what to do...
There so many times....
That I told myself...
Gal...
Is time for you ....
To let it go....
Gal...
Why are you still holding on?
I don't know...
Yes....
I admit...
I could't bear to let this end...
Deep down in my heart........
He still matters most...
But NO...
Thats not the reson why I still holding on...
I hold on because........
He love me..........
No matter what happen....
He love me........
And that for me is enough.......
There are times...
I question myself...
Does he really love me?
But subsquently.. thinking back........
Evidence...
Proof to me that yes he do....
No matter he is angry, sad or disappointed...
I am the one who matter to him most.........
At least...
This I am confidence of...............
4:07 AM
i pledge my love for you.
Haix... i am so scare now... alone at lan shop.. waiting for deardear.... everything went smooth and fine.. nothing happen .. no quarrel but lovely....
but suddenly.. my deardear nv reply me msg at all.... not at all.... which is very weird..... my dear will never lyk tt de.... den suddenyl... about 1hr + he text me say breakup.. say we not suitable.. then went MIA...
I am soooo scared.. feel like crying now.. no matter how many msg i text him... how many call i give he never reply me at all.... I really don't know why...
If we quarrel.. then maybe I understand... But no.. den suddenly like that....
I suppose because he is damm stress bahx.. cox deardear alone with his parents now....
den today his dad saw me... and should be very unhappy and nag him and etc bahx?
if not deardear won't like that de.... cox I suppose now he is dammm stress... going breakdown soon.. I don't know what I can do as a girlfriend... 1st time.. I felt so helpless.... felt so useless that my dear is facing so much stress.... and as his girlfriend there is nothing I can do....
He must have gotten all nasty conversation and stress... and kena force.... but me.. only know how to spam him.. and forget the situation that he is in now...
I am sorry my dear... I promise later we meet I will sayang and everything... won't throw temper or what... Haiz...
why is our r/s full of ups and down?
He is in such a state now.. going break down le.. yet they still wanna add on his stress... can't they be more understanding? Haiz....
But there are things that I am at fault too... though I am trying my best to change... But I am still not an understanding gf.... have to try harder...
sorry my dear.. I love you... :-*
I am going find him now... guess he should be at home bahx.. maybe too tired.. cox he never get enough sleep....
god.. Please bless me.. Thanks.. I need it..... Bless me that my trip won't be wasted.. bless me taht I can find him / get him.. thanks...
1:34 AM
i pledge my love for you.
Honestly I don't know worx... tmr last paper le.. :)
haix.......
Mummy very stubborn worx...
towards me and his relationship...
I know is for my own good...
but i feel stress when she don't understand me...
feeling can't be control...
haix...
that day told her le..
but don't think she get it bahx?
We are like going to restart...
But she don't understand... don't like and don't want....
How to tell her sia?
We are still together...
told her that day le... she say orh...
Now like that...
Hiaz..
I feel so stress
6:35 AM
i pledge my love for you.
Lolx...
sian sia... I still got so much weight to loss sia.. :(
from 66kg...
I now drop to 61kg... well a good sign...
but still got 10 more kg to go!!!!
can you imagine?
k. i took 3 weeks to lose 5kg...
so estimate I need about 1 and a half month to return back to my last time weight.....
omg.... it seems to be lyk sooOOOO long la.... hope it can be faster lo....... I wanna slim down...
wear nice nice clothes........
I hate to be fat!!!!
6:35 AM
i pledge my love for you.
Well....
now everything seems so different...
Start a new?
I wonder if I could...
Is no longer the same...
and can never be the same...
yes...
I admit i am possesive...
yes...
I admit I can't let go...
but I can't and never will forget the incident that had happen..
its totally different..
no matter how much I love you...
How much you love me...
It can never change the fact that it happen...
I will and can never forget it.......
now what left is only you to prove...
prove to me...
you are sorry...
you will change......
6:35 AM
i pledge my love for you.
i dunoo... dun ask me anything please.....
I dunno....
at least I feel better now...
i understand that no one will die because someone is leaving or had left...
but from my understanding point...
something that will die..
and never revive...
will be my heart....
its already dead..
and will never revive...
never ever......
I had enough......
what has been done.....
won't change......
I am nothing..... at least I believe when the moment you did all those... I am.....
is always cruel to face the reality..
but i have no choice but to face it alone...
no one will ever ever understand my feeling.....
How I am feeling all these while...
I am like a nutshell...
I never step out....
I have never ever...............
step out from 07/07/07............
you know? how sad I am?
living is like a torture to me...
I rather GOD...
take pity of me...
take away my memories that I had with him...
every single one....
I don't want to remember a relationship like this....
A love like this......
I really don't want......
I pray to GOD up there, out there........
Please give your kindness to this sinful girl.........
Look at her state right now...
She can't take it anymore............
She need to forget him.....
every single memory with him........
she don't want it anymore........
she is hurt.......
exhausted........
dead........
God.........
why?
What has she done to receive this?
What has she done?
Why did you let her meet him?
Why did you let her fall for him?
Why did you let her trust him?
Why did you let her get hurt?
She is just an innocent girl back then... looking for a love that is everlasting...... that is pure and innocent........ is that so difficult???
Yes..... she is always naive.... always thought that there is such thing as true love.......
But she is wrong.......
There is no such thing as everlasting love.....
There is no such thing as I can't live without you......
There is no such thing as one and only one......
every relationship is just like a passerby..
pass through your life and will be gone.......
the last that stay with you is a gift from GOD.
I learn that now..........
I blame myself for loving him.....
Blame myself to step into this relationship despite everyone warn me...
Blame myself for being so naive............
I can only blame myself........
6:35 PM
i pledge my love for you.
shi ma?
qing ai de.
rang wo zui hou yi ci zhe yang jiao ni.
liang nian de ai zhi shi wo men de wu zhi.
zhi shi wo dui ai de dan chun.
dang yi qie dao le yi ge duan lou.
shen me dou mei you.
qi shi ai wo zhi shi ni kai de wan xiao.
wo men de ai.
qi shi mei you chun zai guo.
yi qie zhi shi wo liang de meng.
wo men yi wei ke yi.
pei zhe dui fang.
dao lao.
dao si.
dan qi shi shen me dou bu shi.
yin wei ni cong lai mei you ai guo wo.
wo gen ni zhi shi bu xiao xin cha jian er guo.
wo zhi dao.
ai wo zhi shi ni kai kou de wan xiao.
5:11 AM
i pledge my love for you.
WHY????
WHY??
WHY???
Why you say I can't go to him when you said you don't want me?
When you said I am nothing...
When you said you have fallen for someone else...
I don't wanna share...
I don't wanna share my boyfriend HTB with anyone...
Even feeling also CANNOT!!!!!!!!!
I AM MORE POSSESIVE THAN WHAT YOU THINK OK!!!
YOU KNOW HOW I WANT MY LOVE TO BE LIKE!!!!!!
SO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok!!!! LIM MA DON!!!!!!!
but... but... but....
why??? I don;t understand... why you don't let me go when you want me to go?
they said is because you are selfish..
But deep in my heart...
I am asking....
Is it... because... you still love me and care for me...?
But you hide them up?
I know is silly to think this way.....
But at least... this is the only way.. that I know..
you still care...
I ask you whether have you dream of me......
you said yes....
that night.. the dream was so real...
I felt yor tears...
I heard all your sorrow...
you told me you didn't mean it...
I don't know... these 2 years... you know I don't really dream of you...
And you don't dream... But that night we meet...
and the dream was soo real......
I dunno...
I really dunno....
But deep inside my heart...
I trust...
the dream was true..
because you said you dream of me too......
I only wanna know.... Do you still love me???
If I go to him would you be happy?
If you would...
I don't mind...
I can do so...
For the sake of you..
3:44 AM
i pledge my love for you.
well today i really know what the meaning of break..... heartless and etc... to him... i am nothing... no longer anymore........ its isn't like last time...
LIM MA DON DUNNID WINNIE TAN HWEE KHIM ANYMORE!!!!
to him... the 2 years might be nothing at all... he say today is his trueself... he say i force it...
i dunno... really dunno... i am not going to care anymore....... he dun wan me... he say he dun wan me... wad can i do?? Ha.. WADEVA LA.....
he wan love me jiu love... dun wan sua la............................................
machiam these 2 years those that I did is a laughing stock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wadeva k... LIM MA DON I KNOW YOU WILL BE READING THIS....
BUT I GOING TELL YOU I AM NOT GOING CARE ANYMORE... U WANNA GAME... U WANNA FLIRT... U WANNA BU TING HUA AND DESTROY YOUR LIFE.... I CAN'T HELP U K!!!!!
I dunno you! really dunno you at all.... k? my deardear will never hit me... will never ever treat me like this... you are not my deardear! he is dead... my heart is dead too...
I say once and I mean it!
" LIM MA DON! YOU DON'T WANT CHANGE BACK NO ONE CAN HELP YOU LE!"
no one is going tolerate your temper like wad i did... no1 is going care for u lyk wad i did... no1 is going let u kick far far... still so stupid stand there say love u trust u...
at least NO ONE WILL ACCEPT YOU IF YOU BETRAY HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok? i dun care... i dunno k!!!!!!! i am going have back my life... I WON'T LET YOU DESTROY IT ANYMORE....
though to you i am nothing...... from 18/06/07, 02/07/07, 07/07/07,20/07/07.......
but I AM NOT AFRAID TO SAY THIS EVEN IF YOU ARE LOOKING!!! I NEVER REGRET!!!!!!!!
never before.......... not last time not now.... the 2 years 1 months is wonderful to me... i put my love in... entirely! from 07/08/09 afternoon 3pm onwards, everything, every single thing is a lesson for me... to learn and grow...
go and think and do wadeva u wan bah... if tt make u happy... by all means!!!!
I AM GOING SHOUT ONE LAST TIME!!!!
" DEARDEAR WO AI NI!!!! BYE BYE!!!!!!!!!! TILL ETERNITY!!! BYEBYE!!!!!!"
Turn back and be yourself!!! dun wan u regret again... wake up bah... last time gaming also make u lyk tt.. now u still going back? U SAY NO1 LOVE YOU... DEN U ASK URSELF AGAIN.... ARE YOU SURE... OR ARE AVOIDING AND HIDE URSELF UP AGAIN? DUN GIVE ME BULLSHIT THAT U R LYK TT... U BLOODY LANJIAO.... U R NOT!!! AND I DUN BELIEVE I COX U TO CHANGE TO LYK TT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW U CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE........ BUT PLEASE STOP THAT!!!! STOP EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP TORTURING URSLEF!!!!!!!!!!!! U R ALWAYS KIND HEARTED I BELIEVE.... ALL ALONG UR FEELING WAS TRUE I CAN FEEL IT!!! EVEN SATURDAY!!!!!!!!! K!
u go think bahx... till then.... i am not going to care anymore...
i only love my deardear.... the one who love me, treat me nice nice, the wan who keep try all soughts of method to let me ROM with him and etc... not the u now... is last time.......
SO BYE K!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE CARE!!!!!!!
i am NOT going to say i love you anymore... becox................................ same as you... i dunno now k...................................
12:40 AM
i pledge my love for you.
my dear? i am lost.. i dunno wad i am to u anymore? within less that a night i became nothing.. and u went to give the love to someone else... i didnt blame u... but u assure... and reassure me that.. u will never ever fall for anyone else... you will never ever love anyone else... i don't know how to tell you the sadness and disappointment i had... as I had no words to describe.. but I hope... you will come back to me.. tmr is my last chance...
I have never went to think... how serious the problem of our relationship has become... i am sorry... AS UR LAOPO I FAILED TO NOTICE... i am sorry to have neglect your feelings all these... as I always thought... dear say ok means ok... i should'nt have.. I have sorry that I am always not satisfy or never feel enough for whatyou had done and plan for me.. I never learn to appreciate that.. It must have hurt you most... I am sorry... for being so useless... but I SWEAR... I will never do that again... I will learn and care for you... in your way.. not mine... i will not let you suffer anymore... I am sorry... i know fri to you... was really a huge set back... if not you won't like that... I am sorry... but I will change.. I know somehow maybe not much I still matter in your heart... your action and everything shows me that... I know... and I am not lying to myself...
I just want you to know... I am always here for you.. no matter who leave you... I will still and always be there... ok? and care for you.. love you... i swear and promise that before.. and going to keep that till the day I die... as I swear it with my life... no matter how far you gonna kick me away... how dead you are for me.. I am going to stay put... and won't leave despite bleeding and hurting... no matter how pain or difficult it is I will still love you... if your heart is dead for me... I will revive it... if I had disappointed and hurt you badly... I promise not to do that again.. and will make up for it...
however.. if really one day... no matter what I do... is not going to work anymore.. I became a hinder to your life... someone whom you don't love and detest... and someone whom is nothing....
and being hated...
I will leave... your heart... and your sight.... from your world... and this world... never appear again.. i will not disappear but vanish.... no why.. not because i don't treasure my life or I don't listen to you... is because... what you always have said...
:" I can't live without you."
PS: I love you
7:55 PM
i pledge my love for you.
123456789
i dunno... i really dunno... what to say or do right now.. maybe you are readig now... maybe you are not.... what i want and only can say is that i care for u... and when i say that i mean that...
i dunno what happen again...
maybe its because of me........ but i don't know... i really don't....
now you are not around... at least i hope...... you can cool yourself and think about it....
about us.....
do you think what you do is right? do you love me? do you want to continue?
if you ever think that you are wrong... u can call me up... my hp didnt spoil........ and i on it...
well i know is disastrous now....... bt i am here......... as long as i love u... everything is ok...... but if u leave me... i really dunno................. i only know 1 thing now is that 123456789 i love you
5:47 AM
i pledge my love for you.
the chain....is broken for the second time... no more fixing... no point fixing...
its time for me to change............
i am not fit for them? nvm...
always buy le u make spoil?
nvm.......
i am going back :)
hui dao guo qu....
i wun let u know.....
i wun let u notice....
maybe when u happen to notice...
its way too late........
i say before....
no more.....
since to u....
the vow and etc is not impt....
u can treat me lyk tt...
den forget it.....
i am determined to leave this time round...
not in a chaos manner....
but slowly quietly....
nothing.....
just because... our love is not there..
just because u never cherish......
to u is nothing..
lyk u say...
action speak louder than word...
you yi tian.....
ni jiang fa xian ....
wo bu hui zai ni shen bian...
bu hui zai ni de xin li...
chong jing tian kai shi...
ni hui fa xian da da...
da da de gai bian...
wo bu hui shi wo.....
8:32 AM
i pledge my love for you.
Haiz... dunno why maybe i over sensitive but the feeling of inferior that has been gone for long or hidden has came back.. I dunno what to do... because of a msg i become so intense... and thoughts start to wonder....
ytd.. someone msg my dear... was a friendly chat asking whether is my dear continuing his job... well this gal name is ERH XIN MEI... they exchange hp no as they need to contact on the first day. She was the one who first day bring my dear to the place to work as instruction given by the boss becox my dear was a new staff... apparently i dunno who on earth the one who msg my dear is as no name is being save... so i thought maybe some guy his collegue? so i called... then a gal pick up.. apparently i supposed she heard my voice rather than my bf voice so she pretend to keep hello~~~ den when i raise my voice she pretend that she heard... i ask her who is she... she said " i am his friend"...
Upon hearing this word friend my temper hit limit .... who on the earth is she to make friend with my boi? i mean i ask my boi.. he dun even regard her as a friend.. :@!!!!
ok so.. i ask friend? got name wad... wad ur name la... den she erm erm erm then finally she say her name xin mei!!!! then i was fucking pissed cox.. this bloody gal no. i have deleted from my bf hp.... so i wonder she msg my boi for? well nvm i was still calm... i thought maybe my boi ask her to take the form and etc... so i asked... why did u msg him? she say juz ask him whether is he continue working.. so i ask oh hhhh ok.. he ask u to take form for him is it? she say NO... this is where my volcano erupted!!!!! (I WAS THINKING NO DEN U MSG HIM FOR FUCK?) den i asked... so did he msg you? ( i thought maybe my boi msg her mah so she msg back nothing wrong) then she replied!!!! erm no... den I hit limit liao.. I say nvm... ok then bb...
so i confronted my bf.. went to check his list of msging pple.. then found tt bitch number.. which is number after his dad.. so which is a few days back.. so i ask my boi.. why u say nv msg her... den got her contact in ur msging list? den he said juz msg er to ask her help him get the form... so i say den why she say nv... den he say how i knw... well i have fucking no evidence.. so i cant do anythng... he delete his sent items... den i went on... how u gt her number since i deleted? he say get from others.. but wad make me pissed is... WHY NEED HER TO HELP HIM TAKE FORM?? CANNOT ASK OTHERS MEH? WHO THE FUCK IS SHE?
ok then he diam diam... follow by he did nasty thign to me... though he apologise and etc.. bt i was damm hurt... nearly really end this relationship.. I meant it real... not childish act..
after that ask him to msg tt gal not to call him or msg him again he die oso dun wan.. make me damm pissed!! well i do understand lyk v. wad bt i seriously dun lyk tt gal ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
den i msg... in a v. nice way... in the end the gal never reply....
i dunno why.... bt i felt inferior... and the gal msg him during his army time? cox tue dear suppose to be in amry but he with me... cox mc.... count herself suay...
but well.. dunno why i feel lyk letting go this rs. ya i have no confidence and trust regardless of myself or my bf... i dunno wad going on between them maybe nothing.... just that i over sensitive or maybe.. tt is really something.... another reason for me being so sensitive is also because my dear lyk to delete other pple msg... so how would i know??
i dunno.... bt if sat..i going see things... and if my boi lie that she is damm fuckign fat when i see that she is not... maybe i will end this rs... i v.v.v. tired... i know my boi love me alot... but i dunno... really dunno... other than me... is he seeing anybody else? fond of any1 else? or lyk or wadeva shit... or even friends...
i became over sensitive and possesive.... this bitch make wad i try to hide and forget appear again... she make me doubt on my rs again.......... i dun deny tt the factor of trust in our rs is weak..
dunno why went to yahoo and search for her name and etc.... found out that... she is from anderson JC... should be JC1 if I am not wrong.... full name ERH XIN MEI... well she better dun contact my bf anymore... if i find that again..... I cfm make it v. ugly in her work place... and my dear... u can prepare for a breakup...
suddenly.. dunno why i thnk off those number without names keep appear on my dear phone... who on earth are they? dear keep say army personnel....
i going to check this time round... every single one......... if one more time................ i call and is a gal who answer............ my next post will be on breaking up........
rem... if i result to breakup i will never turn back.. i cant stand betray... not even once... never.... even it is just friend... i gave u chance but if u lied so dun blame me for that.............
10:11 AM
i pledge my love for you.
haix....... tmr IB ICA2 30% OMG.... haix.. well... i hope.. to burn the whole book and drink it like "fu shui" so that i will able to combined it with my heart and mind.. den answer all the question within that 1 and a half hour... scary leh... is lyk no difference as compare to an exam nor...
actual was kinda angry with deardear de... but leh.. he put my msg tone as he recorded voice...
"Laopo wo ai ni" den make me cannot angry... cox upon hearing his voice... i feel sooo sweet nor...
wan to angry oso cannt... lolx.. evil him.. evil trick...
he say is a form of his xinyi.. when he is not with me at least I can listen to him say I love u... everytime.. ^^
ok... chater 3 liao.. 4 more to go.. sian sia......... i dunno why suddenly i dun feel lyk studying.. and i have decided to join moe next semester.. lazy to find job for the moment bahx... haix..
6:45 AM
i pledge my love for you.
Well... its been so long.. that we have come this far... we have been together for 365days X 2... although all these while we have never fail to quarrel... but nevertheless.. we love each other deep enough to endure... so yesterday we went for virtual rider.. $3 per pax.. were like erm? mend for kids.. :x but we just took it.. cox i want.. kinda fun... 1st time took that also.. those who are as childish as me can try :P For lunch we went to kuishinbo... $20.90 per pax.. COX we eat for 1hr only.. WAHAHAHA... ok he say express price... he is nagging beside me for food.. noisy hor? :X not bad though.. but nothing fascinating.. he say disappointing. 
Inside the rider
outside the rider..
Den headed to archery.. so fun... haha.. i got higher den him :x he got 26 lyk tt.. I got 98 ... ok la.. is opposite.. he got the 90+ play cheat de.. i got 20+ use own power de.. :P :X well he is nagging now.. dun care k? den we headed to arcade... spend $10.. but get nothing.. cox he lousy .. :X den went to watch ice age 3.. sooo cuute lol.. is 3D de.... Heex.. the baby elephant sooo cute.... mammoth <--- he wan de.. SO NOISY!! SHUT UP...
My score :26 
His score : 98 After that we went to the toys'r'us to look FOR MY DOLLDOLL... u know why i caps? COX THAT IDIOT IS DAMM IRRITATING BESIDE ME LA!! but don't have.. 
den we went to carrefour... wanted to buy the cupcake thngy... but nvr.. cox i wan to buy doll.. den i say see vivo got not... if got den means i fated to buy.. but never lo... sad.. nvm.. will go buy 1 day.. :X
The transformer!!!
@ vivo toys'r's
Our couple tee
den went vivo city.. go change my bag.. but tt ccb cashier.. say never bring receipt cannot.. kuai lan lo.. i curse her!! MAKE ME ANGRY.. TYPICAL CHINA CHICKEN! $1 for 1. On 6/7/09.. he bring me go manicure and pedicure on midnight.. sweet thought of him.. was touch.. :) :-*
den went to buy my doll doll.. :P Cute hor??? YAY.. well.. i chose damm long.. cox the accessories all gone... sad.. nevermind i can go others place to find!!!! den i bought the $79.90 doll.. with toilet bowl and others.. :P lalal.. sooo OOO cUuuTEEE.. i want the other accesorries oso hor...!! understand? U BESIDE ME DUN KAYKAY!!! U KKJ...ok.. den went home.. quarrel as usual.. c lor.. people.. 2years liao still wanna quarrel with me.. ming ku lo.. :"( sobsob.. u all dunno my sorrow lo.. :'( :P
he is nagging aGAIN.....!!!! =.=
den he bought a shou hu shen for me.. a t-shirt... a love seed handphone strap... a bag.. a bracelet.. puzzle tt i dun really like.. but ok la.. is a gift from him..den he keep complaining say he chose v. long..
Love you k? though u always bully me lo.. nvm.. i ming ku :X
and ya!! got selfmade card.. actually was v. happy and surprise de.. but as usual.. wrong!!! chinese word!! haiz.... though this time round got improve 1 nia.. .. but haix!! muz jing bu k? but v. cute and sweet.. Love u.. this i s my dear.. who chinese kns... but still write chinese for me.. k.. i go home put pic .. bb~~~~~
6:34 AM
i pledge my love for you.
ytd watch the bai wan da ge xing....
GOT ZHEN YUAN CHANG!!!! so shuai~~~~ :X
ok.. anyway they went to challenge... and yuan chang by rite nt good in singing cox they keep tease him and etc... but i wonder if anyone did notice that yuan chang singing is not bad... just that he don't dare to sing alone... if you happen to really on of his fan... go and listen again... the 1st part when they sing Andy Lau : "LIAN XI"
the chorus part... yuan chang sing out loud... and really nice... but wonder did anyone notice or not... so to me... he just no confidence.... if he really go for training and etc.. he confirm can do a very good job... too bad I don't have the fortune to be his friend... if can let him know lo!! K.. enough of my dreaming... but I am serious and sincere in my comment.. I even record down.... v. Nice!!!!
Chorus: 我已开始练习 开始慢慢著急 著急这世界沒有你 已经和眼泪说好不哭泣 但倒数计时的爱该怎么继续 我天天练习 天天都会熟悉 在沒有你的城市里 试著刪除每个两人世界里 那些曾经共同拥有的一切美好和回忆
ok... that bout my idol.... about me... i getting more tired... stress out by project and etc...... i really wan a stop.... i wanna go on holiday.... I really hope I can... and I hope... if christmas is coming... i hope santa claus can grant me a sum of money so that I can go on a week holiday with my dear... stay free from the stress environment...
I NEED MONEY!!! savings... is important
1:03 AM
i pledge my love for you.
Well, I always thought one will give up their bread because of love.... once you love someone deep enough... you will willing to sacrifice every single thing for him/her...
However, there are some willing to let go their love because of bread.... to them, surviving, money all these are important in this society, in this world.. yes in fact they were right... however, there is something call simple... maybe you can live in the medium line with a house and a car.... normal spending.. not till the extreme.. is also a bliss... luxury is a good thing... but is not a must....
To me... I just want simple... maybe abit of luxury if I can afford... but not that much... however, I understand how the society work, and human are born greedy... but well.. I JUST DUN LYK MA... :(
Don't know... but i am fortunate that deardear same thinking as me... we want good life but must work for it... but our good life is just a simple living... :) my dear will chose me over bread... same as me... lalalalala...
today dear made me v. sad at 1st... but now v. happy... deardear nv force me.. he dote on me sooo much nor!!! he never angry... he allow me talk and etc... i really appreciate it... really.... thanks... i dunno what to say.. but i am very happy.... I LOVE LMD.....!!!!! ONE AND ONLY ONE :)
and wanna thx piglet too... she today tell me... i walk so long le... i can de... really thx... i am so touch when i see this! yup!!! can de!!! I will... and you too k!!!! 3 of us walk long long long long... till we grow old!!! :)
7:23 AM
i pledge my love for you.
you know? ytd... after my 5th msg to ask you call me and you rejected.... I went to talk to other guyz on irc.. and on phone.... and i feel happy and easy.... but deep in my heart... i only wanna talk to you... thats why i keep msg u.. despite you tell me u dun wan... if fact.. the msg, i am already hurt.... but i only wan u... and i told myself... you wun disappoint me... no matter wad you will still let me nag until ok...
u didnt send any good nite msg.. and I have to ASK you to send... do you thnk I am happy? I feel so numb about our rs... ya .. i have to bear with it and endure... but not how you treat me lyk this... do you know that? my heart is so numb now.... b4 i msg or call u.. i predicted that you WUN reply... do u thnk i lyk this prediction?
ytd talking to other guyz... cox only gt guyx... i feel relax... i feel at least gt some1 to talk to... u said u r sorry... really sorry.... but whats the point? suppose u saw this post u will be angry ba... will be asking me who the guy/guyz is/are... den ask me not to talk to them anymore... SORRY I WONT!!!!! but no matter what... i only love you.. that for sure... ytd talk to shahsa... she say about engagement thng.. i thought there was really a procedure and I am so happy... i wanna be engage to u.... everything to me is only u.... i am happy that u say that ur future is me....
till apr.. meanwhile... i have no choice... but to endure... and i will say... if u going to ignore me or etc... i will still sms all these with other pple... but my priority is u... as in... ur msg and call is the 1st place I will reject other pple call... and reply their msg last if MY OWN BF MSG AND CALL ME!!! so can I hope for that?
Don't ask me to dun contact them.. cox this will only make me sad further... what i want.. is you to change... not ask me to what.... but i swear and promised... i will always be by your side.... i will abandon u................... i will be there to support u always....!!! gambatte ne laogong!!!! i wait for you to change....
Love you always....
Laopo.... :-*
6:43 PM
i pledge my love for you.
I don't understand... I really don't.... why... why do you need to hurt me times and times again? I am so tired................ Why? I need a guy that give me love, care, concern and security ... not a guy who keep hurting me.. not a guy who don't understand me.......... not a guy who don't appreciate me........
I want a absolute boyfriend... I am tired of u.... i really had enough le!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9:41 AM
i pledge my love for you.
Manga: Absolute boyfriend. Robot: Night Girl: Liko
A very nice and touching comic...
Riiko Izawa has never had a boyfriend and she has been rejected by every boy she has ever had a crush on. When she returns a lost cell phone to an oddly dressed salesman, she mentions wanting a boyfriend so to thank her, he directs her to his company's website. When she visits the site, Riiko finds it's a site to create your own lover. Thinking its a game, she customizes and accidentally orders one. The next day, her new lover arrives. Following the instruction manual, she kisses him to wake him up and configure him to be in love with only her. She names him "Night." Three days later, she is shocked to learn that she only had him for a free trial. The salesman, Gaku Namikiri, tells her that she must now pay 100,000,000 yen for Night, however, they will waive the fee if she helps them to collect data about how women think and feel to help perfect future models.
Riiko must now keep Night's true nature of not being human a secret from everyone around her. She also soon finds herself in a love triangle between Night and her childhood friend Soshi, who declares his love for her out of fear he will lose her. As the series progresses, Night begins to develop real human emotions, enabling him to truly love Riiko but also resulting in system malfunctions. When Riiko almost loses Night due to the malfunctions, she realizes that he is the one she really loves. She apologizes to Soshi, who moves to Spain with his brother. As the series ends, Night begins to grow sleepier and sleepier. The problems developed by him exceeding his abilities eventually causes his machinery to stop working, resulting in his "death". Before he died, he wrote a letter directed to Soshi telling him what was happening and asking him to take care of Riiko. Gaku Namikiri then sent the letter to Soshi after giving Riiko some time to grieve, which brings Soshi back to Japan to be at her side again.
Jap Drama: Absolute boyfriend. Robot: Knight Girl: Liko
Both are almost the same. Just that in this drama the girl did not really like the robot at 1st. They have 1 special episode. The robot revive. But sad to say. It chose to be totally destroy from this world. Because he love the girl however he knew that he cant grow old with the girl neither can he form a real family with the girl. (E.g. have children) Therefore he chose to leave and want Liko to find her true love.
A live-action adaptation of the manga began airing on Fuji TV on April 15, 2008 and ran for eleven episodes until its conclusion on June 24, 2008. In the live-action version, Riiko Izawa is an office lady in search of a boyfriend, and she ends up in possession of a "robot" known as Night Tenjo, who is programmed to be the perfect boyfriend. However, this creates a love triangle with a distinguished young man at her company who also has feelings for her. Riiko is played by Saki Aibu, Night is played by Mokomichi Hayami, and Soshi Asamoto is played by Hiro Mizushima.[22]
In March 24, 2009, a special episode of this series was released and featured 3 years after the last episode of the series, whereas Riiko had become a patissier and is engaged to Soshi Asamoto; and Night was suddenly revived by a Kronos Heaven employee, who wanted to use his individual ego to her own gain.
Actually I don't like this ending. Because if I am Liko I won't mind. What matter most is Knight to be with me. Forever. As long as I can see him, feel him, be with him I will be contented.
To me the special episode was kinda spoiler. Since Knight was being revive he shouldn't be eliminated then. Haix. sO STUPID LO.... make me cried twice...... hate it!
6:06 AM
i pledge my love for you.
lala... well... i have just complete my 4 training!!!! so got $$ liao... but now waiting for LOA.... and still got at least 3 buddy system to complete before I am left on my own and really start work.. :)
ok la... should be ok i guess... today get scolding from customer lo.. haix.. but ya... at least my pay dunnid to cutt half and I MOVE A BIG BIG STEP TO MY SAVINGS!! lala
8:19 AM
i pledge my love for you.
這幾夜﹐我都不斷的在做惡夢。
不斷的夢見你背叛我。
心痛﹐但我無法對你回頭。
無法讓自己再一次接受你。
當時心碎了﹐淚幹了﹐
很想很想﹐再一次投進你懷抱里痛哭一場。
但我不能﹐也做不到。
你要求我原諒你。
我無法在看着你﹐無法面對你﹐
又怎能原諒你?
第一次的夢是以外。
你不小心親吻一位女孩子。
雖然我認識。
雖然我知道你們之間並沒有什麼。
但我就是不能接受。
我問了你。
你能接受我於別人接吻嗎?
那是一樣的道理。
透過夢我才知道﹐
我對你的愛是多麼多麼的自私。
我無法接受任何人﹐任何意外。
對你的愛是多麼強烈。
但如果真的有那麼一天。
你我都知道﹐我會走出我們的世界。
不會回頭﹐就算我不能沒有你。
就算我生生世世只愛你。
我也會走出去。
就算頭破血流﹐粉身碎骨。。。。。
不知為何﹐此時的我以沒有力氣面對你﹐面對我們的感情。
可能愛淡了﹐夢遠了。
心被傷了無數次﹐
心碎了﹐
人也累了。
孤獨傷心的感覺纏繞着我﹐
使我無法呼吸。
對人事間的厭倦﹐
讓我開始關閉心的那扇門。
我們的感情是否還能繼續?
我不知道也不想知道。
因為心傷了﹐也累了。。。。。。。。。
8:33 PM
i pledge my love for you.
http://buddha-causeandeffect.blogspot.com/
this is a blog that I just created.... talking about cause and effect... which is known as "yin guo"..
well just that wanna let people know what they done now will lead to what type of retributio or good live in future....
12:24 AM
i pledge my love for you.
I feel so lonely now... my dear wasnt with me.... how i wish to actually see him fetch me downstairs but he didnt... and not even a reply from him after 9pm despite tons of calls and sms... i just finished my work/training and took a cab home sponsor by the company... dear was supposed to fetch me downstairs but wasnt confirm... as he mostly likely not able to book out due to heavy workload.. but still he failed to tell me in the end... make me there guessing and hoping to see him when I reached home... as I thought he might want to surprise me...
like the saying goes " xi wang yue da... shi wang yue da" ... he didnt manage to appear in the end... and never even inform me... despite me calling and smsing him... ya ... he going to tell me.... he is busy and tired... but well.. after his work cant he just text me and let me know?? COME ON!! I FINISH WORK AT 2.30AM!!!! DUN TELL ME THIS TIMING HE IS STILL WORKING? ya... I HAVE AND MUST USE TO IT AND UNDERSTAND HIM...
den who understand me? him? NOBODY..... he never know how I would have felt....
right now... at this very moment... or should I say once I started work... I felt so lonely.. he didnt know that once I have break I text him... just to check whether is he booking out.. BUT NO.. HE NEVER REPLY AT ALL.. JUST IGNORE!!! I AM ALWAYS NEVER IMPORTANT BEFORE!!! STOP STOP STOP TELLING YES I AM.... !!!! because if your campmates are the ones who sms you... you will reply... I AM NOT COMPARING!!! BUT THATS THE FACT!!! CANT DENy!!!
YA... i understand that campmates is a must to answer the call and sms as its regarding the army work.. however I didnt demand him to reply immediately today.. but at least.. as long as he is able to reply.. he should let me know.. e.g go toilet? after he finish his work!!!!
BUT HE NEVER!!! AN HE IS GOING TO TELL ME.. TOO TIRED... I AM SORRY... I FELL ALSEEP... BUT IS THERE ANY MEANING? ANY POINT???
no point arguing with him... i dunno who i can cry to.... who i can consult... my heart is so pain... I MYSELF IS ATTACHED WITH A BOYFRIEND... BUT THERE IS NOTHING HE CAN OR WOULD DO TO MINIMISE IT...
and if I were to tell him.. he will just say I dun understand him... den whats the point??
you know I feel so tired... I want nothing but just a shoulder to lay on.... I want a guy... to give me sense of secure.. to be there when I need him... and my selfishness... i only want him to understand me... and not always ask me to understand him... i am soo tired... keep thinking back... why did I get into a rs in the 1st place??? these are NOT what I want... everything he promised wasnt there... I felt cheated.... I am soooo sad now.... that I couldnt find any words to express my feeling... I am so lonely...
I long for him to be by my side... so that I can be embraced by him after a long day of work.. but no... it didnt happen.. you know... during my work... i "dream" that he would wait for me downstairs... and i can hug him and smell him.... I miss him so much... but sad to say... reality is always cruel... it didnt happen...
I have no news of him... except I know that... this timing.... he will be at camp sleeping... but he wouldnt know that... this timing.... his wife is at home crying........
my heart is so dead..... can anyone revive it?????????? I am tired......................................................
PS: you will never never know......................
12:01 PM
i pledge my love for you.
I kinda dont get the meaning of life.... we are born to grow to be sick and finally dead .... and throughout our life... other than kinship, love, relationship, there is one more thing that matter most... and that is money....
used to be naive and thought... without money i can survive.... money is not important.. but in fact... is the opposite... money is needed everywhere... is how the world goes... how the people survive... without money... one will die... no food, no drink, nothing.... its been so long..... i really dunno...
now... finally we make a big move towards our goal... i going for the 3rd training for my job.. and dear finally found a job too... so our earning increase... then can save le... i wish.. i hope... at least... manage to save up... 5k... at the end of our graduation and ord... which mean 1 yr time...
$300 X 10 = $3k... so 2 more k to go... got to jia you jia you... :)
haix.... these 2 weeks keep cold war... didnt want to and didnt mean to... but dear sometimes really too much.. he forgotten that people got limit de... i understand him having a tough situation inside the army but he didnt..
haix... i really dunno..
but now what matter most is money.... at least 5 k!!!! and is a must!!!!
ps: i lovveee u
6:06 AM
i pledge my love for you.
1st Prize
0317
2nd Prize
8949
3rd Prize
0485
Starter Prizes
1445
2350
6150
7247
8044
8091
9405
9585
9713
9814
Consolation Prizes
0318
0583
1420
4360
4425
5828
6727 7637 8350 9902
9:26 PM
i pledge my love for you.
What the hell lo... deardear today for nothing suddenly tio activate... DEN TOTAL CAB FARE.. $63.. SIXTY THREE DOLLAR OK!!! NOT SIXTY THREE CENTS..... how many movie i can wathc.. how many things i can buy... AND CAN EAT COUPLE BUFFET LOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SINGAPORE WHY RAISE TAXI FARE TO 35% DONT THEY KNOWHAT IS STILL GOT PPLE IN POVERTY LINE??? POOR PEOPLE.... AND I AM 1 OF THEM OK!!!!
FROM TIONG BAHRU TO SUGEI GEDONG CAMP ( lim chu kang)
DEN FROM SUGEI GEDONG TO NANYANG POLYTHECNIC (ANG MO KIO AVE 5)
YOU KNOW HOW EX NOT??? THE UNCLE STILL BLUFF ME SAY.. MOST 50 NIA.... DEN EXCEED 63 LO!!! MY ASSET ONLY GOT $63 ONLY LO...!!! THAT UNCLE STILL KPKB!!!! EARN SO MUCH LO!!! I WANTED TO GO OFF AT BOON LAY LO!!! HE BLUFF ME 50 NIA... SO I CONTINUE THE JOURNEY LOH!!!! U KNOW OR NOT??? U UNDERSTAND????
EEEEEEEXXXXEEEPPPPEEENNNSSSIIIVVVEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WHOLE LIFE NEVER TAKE A CAB SO EX B4 OK!!!! OK?? REALLY NEVER!!!!
THAT UNCLE TODAY DUNNO CIO TIO WHAT GOLD LO!!!1 GET US AS HIS PASSENGER... TODAY EARLY MORNING THE RENTAL FARE TAKE BACK LE LOH!!!!!!!!
haix..... and i am damm sickkkkk
gs wannna go liao
7:27 PM
i pledge my love for you.
My most precious picture... :PNearly lost it today... but thanks to karen... ^^
well... just found a new blog skin.. cute right? :P
hmm.. these few weeks feeling is really down. I don't know what to do or what I can do...
deardear having mood swing... thus hurting me without him knowing....
which make me really really very sad.....
his temper has become shorter...
insensitive....
lazy....
stubborn....
sometimes i really dunno how to communicate with him...
like now... we are having cold war..
well, is me ask him dun contact me de...
but he have no idea what is initiative lo... haix..
juz 2 days past our 1yr 11months anniversary so which mean... our 2years anniversary is coming le!!!! ~~~
dunno should be happy or what... however, i dun seems to be looking forward to it.... i dunno how to say... guess i am just too tired...
i hope to go back to the honey moon period... whereby my deardear is 101% perfect and nice...
i miss that deardear.... :'(
i now feel v. xin ku... but i dunno wad to do... guess... as long as he is in the army one day... i have to suffer... I am tired....
no mood to study.... :( tomorrow got FAA.... i wonder should I just flung it.... i know nothing about that....
7:46 AM
i pledge my love for you.
hmmm...... well i dunno what you had said is true.. but i really hope so.. :) thanks for being honest too... you last tie really lyk to crap and bullshit alot nor... HUMPH...
some news?
No. 1 News
Mia washington a Dallas woman give birth to twins who have 2 different father... GENTICALLY TESTED!!! ZOMG... ok she found that her twin got nothing identical so went to ask doctor.... then test DNA ..... Result... she was flinging around... and got pregnant by her affair and her hubby... =.= 2eggs 2 sperm.... So don't know she is lucky or unlucky loh... only 1 in a million will happen nor... but yupp that all...
Haiz... the kids so poor thing... the hubby cfm ki siao.... so happy got twin... in the end one is his... one is not.. stil help to foot the medical bill... lolx.. who can take it sia?
No. 2 News SG
A fcuking man beat a 3 year toddler to deat because jealous of his girlfriend love the kid more than him.. IS LIKE OF COURSE LA. CB!! own kid leh.. u bf only.. thought what? and what beat him to death? squeeze and pull his penis... FCUK YOU LA... YOU THINK WHAT? try your own penis kenna pull and bite loh... cb.. pple kid nia leh... lyk tt treat him... fcuk la... damm digusting la... 7 years of sentence is SOOOOOOOOOOOO LIGHT... But at least got stroke... best is cane till is butt spilt... LP LJ DISFUNCTION.... :@ :@ damm angry la.... the boy boy so ke lian... broken family... gt stepfather... then cb... gt 1 idiotic de... pervert la.... dunno what to say.... but that idiot souldnt be born.....
Bless you boy.... R.I.P
_________________________________________________________________
K... done... now about me... CMFI is a financial module... and because of this module I have to go and buy $52 calculator and $31.50 textbook... wtf... 1 module... ask me waste $84.50!!! all my module lecture add up oso less than that lo.... :@ I HATE TEACHERS WHO ASK ME TO SPEND MONEY!!!!!
8:46 PM
i pledge my love for you.
today you say you going to tell me the truth... i am waiting... however, i am scared.... scared to hear the truth... and definitely i know... i will be jealous of your past.... but..but... i wanna know... at least... that is the truth of your past... not making up a story and trying to let me believe you....
i love you no matter what....
I am waiting to face the reality...
to face what you had tried to hide for the past 2 years.....
7:44 PM
i pledge my love for you.
hmmm....... wel.. i really dunno..... u like to boast around... u lyk to hide ur things from me..... I dunno.... maybe .. u juz dun wish to reveal.. dun wish to let me hurt or jealous... but u know wad? i really wanna hear the truth... and not a story that you make up.. u know how i wish to tell you not to worry... because... i will never leave you .... will never leave you because of your past my dear.... i just wanted to know more about you... the truth of your past... the truth of your love life...
can i ?
i am really touch to hear what you have said.. during last friday... at the steamboat restuarant... at least.. i can feel... that your feelings towards me is deep and strong... i feel the love... really feel it again for aftr sooo long?
i know... one should look infront and not digging the past.... but i am not digging... i just want to know... after that... move forward.............. if not... i am just like... dragging the past to my future...
can i? my dear.. for once... just tell youself to me honest to me.. saying all of past... regarding fame or shame.... because.. No matter what you are in the past... the thing that matter is you are no longer the "bad" guy last time...
my dear... just let go of the past... tell me what had happen... and let us be side by side... let go of all the past.. and walk towards the future...
this is what i hope...
8:35 AM
i pledge my love for you.
Why do you have to lie times and times again? If you don't wish to contact me.... just give me freedom... I won't bother you.... I miss you every minute...every seconds... do you? if you do... I won't be so hurt now...
what am I to you? I don't know... and don't want to think... i begain to think ... where is this relationship leading me to? Am I... or should I be always the one who care for you? How much is your care for me then?
I dont kow my dear... I only know that I am tearing all this while... I only know that my heart is dead... but it really hurts.... its bleeding... but there is nothing I can do... I guess is time I should get back those freedom that I should have.... and maybe... also giving you the freedom that is rightful to you... I am tired of being tied up... I am also tired of tying you up...
you didnt know how much it has actually hurt me... you didnt know... to you... is... as long... as I love you... I won't leave you... to you.. is keep lying to cover ur lies... rather than be trueful... to you... is rather... ignore... than solving the things out... to you is only... you busy in army... very busy... I sms you.. you reply... not you initiate to sms me...
but if the other way round?..... I hurt you... you will do things.. and make sure I won't.... u don'tlyk me to lie... to you.. I lie = i don't love you... becox u know i won't lie to u.... to u... u expect me... not to ignore you... and i shouldnt... becox is a small matter... i should juz be ok in 5 -15secs... if not = u angry... me for being petty.... to u.. i in school.. i in lecture... i should have time to reply u... should have time to sms u... becox... sch is not as busy as lecture.... (if u thinking u never say all these before... please think carefully..)
do you know what is heart dead?? do u relly know the meaning of love...??? or should I say.... do you know.................... How should you love and trat and care for your gf... and wtb...??
i really v.tired... i have say myriad of tired.... countless of heart dead... you promise you will change.... but when will you change to stop hurting me????? having ur care and concern... ur time... is it so difficult? if it is.. then y? y do you chase me... and promise me all those I had said during that time?
or was I too naive... to believe... you are different from others?
ps: do you know the feeling of heartdead but the heartache is still there??
my dear... I love you... but do you? i really don't know... I am lost.....
8:51 AM
i pledge my love for you.
hmm... lolx... ytd nite i really make my deardear angry liao... that was the 1st time i see him so angry worx... we stead lyk... 1 year going 9 months le... he seldom angry untill lyk tt de...
reason why? ok.. cox i watch the gary ng video... ( a sg sex scandal, who post 33 sex video of him and gals....) cox i wanna c how he look lyk mah.... =.= den i tell deardear i watch lo... den he v. angry...
lyk dun wanna forgive me lyk tt worx... cox usually maybe he angry awhile... or ai nai abit den finish liao... but ytd different... he sound dammm frim... serious.. angry... and dissappointed lo....
didnt know he will jealous until lyk tt... cox usually my dear wun jealous de... hw seems lyk dun really care de bahx.... but ytd his reaction actually shock me....
was really happy for his reaction... but sad also... cox really dunno how to handle him... he is lyk... talking in a cold tone... den v. sacarstic... den blah blah blah... i was lyk... wth la.. sobsob...
ok... is my fault.. so i cannt complain...
ended up with mux sayang him lo... =.= my entire life hor... not 1 day or 2 day... but i clever... i say depends on his performance 1st.. haha...
haix.. so sian... now waiting for dear to be done den call him....
8:40 AM
i pledge my love for you.
Me & HimAfter finish our cake
My xi ji :P (look at the cream at his nose)
(Me,deardear,keai and baobei)
OMG I LOOK LIKE AUNTIE.. :(
Grand ma, mama, deardear,ke ai and baobei
Deardear singing birthday songs
Me and him at musicdreamer cafe
His tootoot post:PFountain of wealth
Me and him Fountain of wealth
A 2nd shoot:P
The cake that i design
My boots and his shoe..lolIn MRT
My sherpard dog :PCute right?
In Mrt...The uncle beside dear is slpping and we are taking pictures:P
Piggy OinkOink
morning 9.30 wake up.. cook breakfast for him instead of bringing him to cruise... cox on the sat was our anniversary.. so spend some $$ den not enough $$ lo... actually is only love shape, boy shape, and gal shape sandwich..a bear shape egg.... and a plate of fish.. lol...den headed of to jurong point... the icing room... and design a cake for him.. to me.. kinda not nice.. but he say nice... so was kinda happy...den went shop shop b4 movie start.. went to action city den saw this very cute.. bread for distress... saw b4 le.. but smthing attract me was.. they got a plain slice of white bread.. there write.. "a bread that never expire.. but a love that last forever" that bread u could write down ur thoughts for ur love 1... ment for valentine de... but they still selling so got 1 for my dear...den went for movie... was supposed to watch marley and me.. in the end... watch kunfu chef.. =.= had a small arguement over this.. cox he bought kungfu chef without telling me due to the marley and me no back seat.. but in the end ok liao.. overall rating for kungfu chef.. 3.5/5 bahx.. for us.. ^^den headed down to city hall fountain of wealth.. went to the water session... walk around the fountain of wealth 3 round and make a wish... ^^den go see the laser message that i dedicate for him... not very nice.. cox they break the msg into half half then can see de... =.= ( a disappointment to me, an advise to guy nv use the normal dedication msg for propose... cfm not romantic at all.. =.= unless u can request or discuss to put those lyk essay type then can see de...) but dear was still happy.. den gav him a photobook of us for his pressy...Lolx.. he lyk the photobook alot hehe... cox inside got us from birth till now...den headed down to marina square.. musicdreamer live cafe.... well.. when 1st go in.. it was not nice at all lo..=.= lyk some kopitiam lyk tt.. but in the end we sit down there... and the live band members (ah du, mei lian, jian hua and xi mei) bring the atmosphere up.. as in u will feel very comfortable there... ^^ was damm nervous whole day... cox i told them 9.15pm i will sing for my dear... well anyway i chose wang leehom ai de jiu shi ni.. den was damm conincidence cox my dear dedicate a song for me... and den a msg... " thanks laopo this is the happiest birthday i had before"just nice after the msg of him was my turn to sing... was damm paiseh la...but the band members very friendly cox they bring me into the song.. then rest was me singing.. and xi mei guiding me beside without mic.. no out of peace or pitch wrong.. HENG ^^ food there will be 3/5 bahx...ok.. everything ended well.. and out of all the present and surprise... lyk wad SGC members expected... he lyk the music surprise the most.. cox i sing for him infront of everyone.... lolx.. hehe.. i feel very happy cox he lyk everything and was very touch....His 10 present:
1) hasa bicycle2) video greeting3)a box of chocolate4) plate with our picture5) couple key and lock necklace6) cake7) bread toy8) laser msg9) photobook10) a song for him Well deardear become adult le... from the age of 19 i know u and see u growing from an teenagers to an adult... I love you.. and yet at the same time feel insecure..scared that one day our feeling will no longer be the same due to our age gap... and era..But at least i am glad that if one day.. i really have to leave u alone.. u will still be able to surivive on your own and think as you had already become an adult.. and no longer need me to do everything for u liao...so got to grow up ok? will always be by ur side.. Wo yong yuan zhi hui zai ni yi ge zhuan shen de ju li...
1:45 AM
i pledge my love for you.
maybe just one fine day i will leave... when u know how to live and when i know how to let go....
I had enough of all the hurting.. sometimes... u just take me for granted.. I won't always be there for you.. even if that the way how u treat me..
6:45 PM
i pledge my love for you.
dear 21st birthday party was a very bad experience or days for both of us...
FRIDAY.. dear dad and aunt was there... bought a bicycle for him and he was damm happy....
later on, due to mahjong we had a kinda big fight... after that is ok.. but at night. it was like shit.. everything i said had came true... that idiot boy name jie rong aka kevin was there... our mahjong entertainment was being snatch away becox of his dad simply dunno what is FRIDAY IS FRIEND DAY! agree upon it and in the end... never respect us at all call all his relative come..
SATURDAY.. EARLY IN THE MORNING 7AM!!! was being disturb by his dad to wake all of us up for breakfast. WHAT THE FCUK LA!!! don't he understand 7am saturday morning is for people to rest? nevermind we ignore.. iand i am those type who being wake up then cannot sleep de... 7.30am HE KNOCK THAT DAMM DOOR AGAIN!!! DAMM CB LA... i can't do anything.. and my dear just keep say nevermind la.. dun care and blah blah blah...
den come my dear birthday cake time... we wanted to cut cake early.. BUT JUST BECAUSE HIS DAD BOSS WENT BOWLING WE ARE SUPOSED TO WAIT FOR HIM!!!! Then nevermind...
We go arcade loh.. YOU KNOW WHAT? AFTER AWHILE HE CALLED!!! ask us to go back BECAUSE HIS BOSS IS GOING BACK... AND WE SHOULD CUT CAKE NOW... what the fcuk la.. is this my dear birthday or HIS DAD BIRTHDAY? fcuk him la...
THEN NEVERMIND.. is ok.. I GO LA... then CUT CAKE TIME... TAKE PICTURE.. i am like invisble... my dear is siting down and i am far far away from him.. like a stranger.. even sing song time he also just sit down there.. ask me go.. but never pull me there... may i know what that??? his family DON DON BIRTHDAY!!! not friends or anything..
After that he suppose to cut the cake.. i wanted to help him take out the wrapper.. people stop me.. BECAUSE HIS 6TH AUNT BIRTHDAY.. nevermind... they took picture and sing song again.../ but my dear play cake on her face.. and she did back.. WHEN I ACTUALLY PLANNING TO TAKE PICTURE WITH HIM AFTER THAT... DID HE RESPECT ME? ANSWER IS NO.. I AM INVISIBLE OR SHOULD I SAY EXTRA THERE.. THEREFORE AT FIRST TILL THEN I NEVER WANTED TO GO AT ALL.... i went to the toilet to act as shitting den my dear came and knock my door... but i never care.. cox really too sad.. but to me.. since he actually come for me.. den i went out.. expect him to be outside of the door.. but he didn't.. THE CAKE WAS CUT.. HE DID NOT WAIT FOR ME AT ALL.. i hate him.. hate every single one.. so i say to shirley i wanna go out walk walk.. dun feel like crying there.. but dear chased out.. so what?
i don't wanna see him.. the cake is cut... everything just not there.... i am nothing to him... then he went up.. and i say i want to go out walk walk.. want him go cut and distibute cake. nicely... but he don't want.. den angry and what ever shit... never care about me at all... i say i go he say ok.. den later hit himself and whatever shit. den i cant tolerate den i hit myself oso lo.. den fuck ... he go hit himself dam hard and loud there shoutting like crazy... dunid to sya his aunt went up..
ALL HIS AUNT AND UNCLE ARE ILL MANNER AND UNREASONABLE BABARIAN PLUS HOOLIGANS... COM E UP.. PUSH ME INSIDE THE TOILET... i WANT TO SAY THINGS BUT SHE DUN LET JUST KEEP PUSHING AND PUSHING... that fucking bitch which is his big aunt was a 60+ old granny!! I FUCKING IS RESPECT HERE SCARE I PUSH LATER SHE FELL DOWN NOT GOOD LO... IF NOT WTF SHE THINK I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO PUSH THAT FUCKING OLD LADY BACK? i RESPECT HER SO I DID NOT.. IF NOT NOW SHE WILL BE AT HOSPITAL AND THOSE IDIOTS WILL BE AT POLICE POST.
DEN COME HIS DAD RUSHING UP TO ME.. PUSH ME MORE INSIDE AND SAY.. "I TELL YOU... I WILL BEAT PEOPLE OK?" fuck you... DID HE ASK WHETHER I DID ANYTHING? A BUNCH OF ADULTS PLUS ELDERS JUST RUSH UP AND BULLY A 19 OLD GIRL? I RESPECT THEM.. SO I NEVER SHOUT.. I THOUGHT I AM ABLE TO TELL THEM, WHAT HAPPEN... I THOUGHT THEY WILL ASK BEFORE ANYTHIGN BUT NO!!!! they are just 1 bunch of unreasonable people... who doest even fit to be call elders... MY DEAR IS THERE SHOUTING AT THEM TELLING THEM I NEVER DO ANYTHING STOPPED ACCUSING ME.. BUT THEY DON'T LISTEN.. TILL MY DEAR WANTED TO PULL AND BEAT HIS DAD.. HIS 3RD UNCLE HOLD HIM BACK BY STRANGLING HIM THEN EVERYONE WAS SHOCKED AND STOP THEIR NONSENSE... HI S 3RD UNCLE SAY I NEVER RESPECT THE ELDERS... I NEVER CALL THEM.. AND HIM.. I USE DOG FCUK HIM I TELL YOU.... HE WHAT? I CALLN HIM ON BOTH DAYS MAN.. AND HIS SIBLINGS WHETHER WANT TO EAT OR NOT.. dun believe fcuking ask his siblings 1st before accusing me... everyone was there shouting and noone listen to me.. but i tell them i only want to say one sentence and his aunt allow me to.. I SAID" YOU ALL ARE ELDERS. SHOULD BE REASONABLE AND ASK BEFORE YOU ALL DO THAT TO ME AND NOT JUST COME IN DOING ALL THIS.. THESE ARE NOT THE WAYS HOW ELDERS SHOULD ACT.. THEN SOME NO FACE GO DOWN... YOU KNOW WHAT? FCUK THEM MAN.. MY DEAR SHOUT AT THEM SAY TYHEY KPO AND ANYHOW JUST COME UP AND ACCUSE ME... THEY SAY NO.. I WAS THINKING NO?? THEN WHAT ALL THAT JUST NOW.. MY DEAR SAY IF WANT KPO JUST STAND BESIDE AND SEE.. NOT THERE ANYHOW ACCUSE ME AND LIKE THAT TREAT ME... AFTER THAT MY SIS COME
BACK AND ALL OF US HEAD HOME TOGETHER DON I WITH ME...
AT THE SAME TIME... THOSE IDIOTS TRUE COLOURS WAS THE 1ST TIME I SAW.. THE UNCLE SAY I ILL MANNER ?
bY THEM DOING ALL THESE ROUGH THINGS AND TREATHENING I AM ABL;E TO SUE THEM FOR THREATHING AND ASSUMPTION TO GAND UP AND FIGHT BEAT ME UP OR WHATEVER... THEY LUCKY THEY NEVER SLAP ME OR BEAT IF NOT I SURE DO BACK DE... U GUYS ARE LUACKY THAT UR NEVER BEAT ME BUT STILL U GUYZ DIRTY HANDS LAY ON ME BY PUSHING ME...
AND PLEASE I GOT CALLED THEM LO.. BUT THE IMPORTANT POINT NOW IS... ALL OF THEM THE 7 SIBLINGS WHO ARE THERE WASTE THEIR PARENTS EFFORTS IN BRING THEM UP... THEY SHOULD ACT LIKE AN ELDER BUIT THEY DIDNT .. THEY ARE BABARIANS AND HOOLIGIANS WHO NEGLECT THEIR PARENTS TEACHIGN AND ASHAME PARENTS INFRONT OF US THESE BUNCH OF YOUNGSTERS AND KIDS... WHEN THEY TEACH US HOW TO RESPECT ONE ANOTHER.. HOW TO BE REASONABLE... THEY THEMSELVES ARE SHOWING BAD EXAMPLES.. BY DOING EVERTHING THE OPPOSITE...
IF YOU ALL THOSE BUNCH OF BABARIANS WHO IS MA LONG UNCLE AND AUNT IS READING THIS PLEASE REFLECT AT YOURSELF MAN!!!! YOU GUYS SORRY WON'T DO ANYTHIGN COX.. IS ALL TOO LATE... EVEN GIVING ONE TIGHT SLAP TO EACH AND INDIVIDUAL OF YOU GUYS ALSO DIRTY MY HAND MAN! YOU ALL DON'T FIT TO BE CALL AS ELDER BUT BABARIANS.. AND DON'S DAD AND BIG AUNT... YOU ARE LUCKY THAT I RESPECT YOU ALL AND NEVER DO ANYTHING BACK.. IF MY DAD OR SIS AND MUM IS THERE.... I AM SURE.. YOU ALL WON'T BE WHAT YOU ARE NOW.... THEY CONFIRM WILL BEAT YOU ALL UP OR EVEN CALL POLICE IF THEY DUN WAN DIRTY THEIR HANDS.. i KNOW YOU GUYS ARE ANGRY READING AT THIS.. BUT PLEASE GO AND THINK.. IF YOU DAUGHTER WAS ME TAHT NIGHT AND GOT BULLY BY THESE BUNCH OF IDIOTS.. WHAT WILL YOU ALL DO?? WON'T YOU ALL FIGHT BACK , PROTECT AND REVENGE FOR YOUR CHILD? USE YOUR BLOODY BRAIN AND THINK MAN...
COME ON BE REASONABLE.. NASTY WHO ALSO KNOW!!!! NEVER DO TO YOU BEACAUSE RESPECT YOU.. NOT BECAUSE SCARED OF YOU :)
I TEACH YOU ONE THING.. ALWAYS REMEMBER ASK BEFORE YOU ACCUSE... IF NOT NEVER REGRET WHEN YOU DO IT... BECAUSE OF YOU GUYZ ACTION.. YOU ALL LOSE MA LONG TOTALLY.. HE HATE YOU GUYZ TO CORE NOW... BECAUSE THESE ARE HOW THE WAYS YOU ALL TREAT THE 1 HE LOVE... I SAY ABOUT YOU ALL ONLY HE ALSO DUN LIKE DUN WISH TO HEAR UR NAME AT ALL.. AT THE SAME TIME YOU ALL SHOW THE YOUNGSTER HOW UNREASONABLE HOW STUPID THE ELDERS ARE.. WHO ONLY KNOW HOW TO SAY BUT DUNNO HOW DO AT ALL... ILL BRED MAN! NASTY? HAHA I ALSO KNOW:)
10:03 PM
i pledge my love for you.
Hmmm.... new year 2009....Hope better luck bah... :PAnyway... reading my blog... is like i have been saying my dear bad words worx..:Pwho ask him make me angry....He really very bad loh.. humph...Anyway deardear had give me some "small surprises" tt warm my heart.. :)very 1st thing.. hmm.. suppose to go sentosa for deardear army outing...but dear mc on the previous day.. those irresponsible camp mates and ic never inform him...but ya.. so we suppose to play water as he promise.. BUT HE DIDN'T LOH...Den we go off loh.. cox early in the morning nothing to do... den very hot... :( his excuse...Den on the way...he suddenly.. use a rock and grave i love you laopo in chinese...on the tree... kinda sweet and unexpected..2nd thing..... went for interview...den got 1 plane fly over den v.loud...at that instant... instant.. i use my hands to cover my ears...and deardear... instead of covering his own ears...he cover mind... was touch.. :P3rd thing...well wanted a traditional japanese kimono and a gothic dress kimono( ball design dark blue with a pick orbi) at far east $130gothic dress black with red lace at chinatown ..the market beside OG...$130 both so ex loh.. dear wanna buy for me... but in the end..kimono cant try so I don't want it....dress. i nv try.. cox nv pass buy bt i thnk now my size cant wear..so i don't want it...but now think think...I wanted tt kimono badly...wanted to go back buy.. but no $$$ :((hope to get it as bday pressy.. anyone?? lolx)think most likely will go back there to buy after cny or something.. :PAll like so ex.. but dear dear say will buy for me.. in the end hor u knw wad?I say dun wan.. went to shop for shoes... had been wanted to buy boots but too ex....den uncle give me $$ buy shoe for cny so we went shopping loh...he drag me to buy boots.. for cny...den tried 1 pair of boots..quite like it as it look nice on me.. but dun have my size...:(Try a few.. but none to my liking.. in the end I don't feel like buying.. but dear insist.. cox he say i look very nice in boots..so continue shopping.. and stop buy D&C..saw 1 pair not bad but just kinda tight at the calf... so bought it...dear dear suddenlytook out his atm card and pay for me....as one of the bday pressy...he suppose have $0 in his bank de loh... dunno where he save de...I was like so surprise lah.. so sweet of him.. ^^Anyway... sat went shopping for new year clothing and clothing for my bday...my list as follow:2 dress : $139.80acessories: $47juicy couture bag: $65Boots $63.90Heels: $45.90Shorts: $32.904 items ( dress/top) for online: $30Nu ren wo zhui da items:$37.30Total:$434.80Still need a clutch.. 2 inner wear set.. a facial products.. cost me..$80... =.= I want cry liao....
10:03 PM
i pledge my love for you.
omg omg omg!!!!!!!!
my dear dear is going oversea soon.. :( went for the ns medical checkup and he is fit.. =.=
will be away from 11-26 of march 09 loh... :'( Hate it loh... seriously.. army already take away so much of our time.. 1 week meet 5 days or less.. now 2 week and 1 day cant meet.. what the hell loh.. seriously don't like !!!! But no choice cannot be asking him to awol bah?? Alot of people say he become black liao.. ya loh.. agree.. is like 1 and a half year back the 1st time I see him, he was white until like dunno what lah. now...=.= so black.. I DUN LIKE!!!:P
My birthday coming soon~~~ hehe... rem arh.. must give me pressy.. lala... 23rd Jan ^^
My blogshop launch about 2 weeks plus le.. not bad bahx.. got a few customers.. but to me it not really good.. cox i need to cover up my expensesand blah blah blah and now.. the $$ in not even 10% la... =.= haix.. nvm.. will jyjy de.. My blogshop URL: the-toots.blogspot.com
Must visit ok?? heex...
love ya... Update soon.. and ya... I am finding job.. :( no $$
2:00 AM
i pledge my love for you.
hurray...~~ going bangkok soon!!
3days-2nights.. heex...
haiz... but... got lotsa obstacles...
this time round go there for business purpose.. cox hongkong now is winter.. so most likely i will go there during.. erm??? spring time.. which is next year.. during erm.... february or march???
Everything settle.. bought my luggauge.. milky~ bought 1 for deardear oso... but his is for putting goods.. so next trip den i buy a better 1 for him...
But deardear side... army there... haven approved yet.. so kinda difficult... and the hotel i want is running out fast... :'( left 5 rooms only loh... I wanna cry le loh.. :( so hope by today the sir can approved... then i can get everything done liao!!! heex....
Sianx... lolx...
well.. we spend $$ really lyk spend water nor.. this month we got roughly 800... guess wad.. now we left 400 only lo.. dunno spend on wad oso.. i damm scared.. so faster took 300 change to thaibaht in case we spend all finish go thailand dun need buy things liao...lolx... :P so.. my 300 give me..6950 thaibaht.. haix... hope can buy lots lots things there...
Well my goods i also going buy there.. test market first.. ^^ will get something that bugis street dun have wan.. cox if they have den no point for me to get those also... heex... kkx...
hmm... plannign to go excerise to slim down... cox will hav an photoshoot during mid-december by nowell friend call stuart... i would say a very talented guy.. had all along wanted to do a portfolio but no $$ sobsob... this guy.. is nowell friend.. happen to saw some of his photoshoot and i found tt.. OMG... he is so talented.. the pics are nicer than those peckages or proffessional outside lo!!! so asked him for help.. and he is a nice guy help me take photo... free~~~ heex.. so now my part is... slim down.. lyk wad tt pb,ccb,noob say.. have to get rid of all my fats.. lolx... ^^
tt all i guess.. update u guyz soon...
1:44 AM
i pledge my love for you.
a story of two.
chilhood times? coinsidence? admire? Fate? Desitny?
Love need alot of care and understanding.
100% attention
24hours a day, 7days a week.
Sacrifice is needed.
Today I read a comic.<>
its about a girl who love a guy in the entertaintment circle.
well they dunno each other.
The girl get in the same school as the guy and went directly in front of him to confess.
At first the guys just think of toying her feelings and made her cry.
But in the end slowly he fall in love in her.
Well is actually a very nice story that show how love should be really like.
The girl give in everything she had to let the guy like her.
And she succeed because of her sincerity and her foolishness touches his heart.
When the guy recepocrate back. He did the same. He is willing to give up his fame because of her.
He touches my heart by saying one sentence. If i cant be together with you i rather be out of the entertainment circle. To someone who is the most famous person in the world. which is his ambitious to be a star. This is a very very big sacrifice....
How I wish one day my dear also like. Although he is lah.... but... haiz.. you know couple do quarrel ritxe? lyk tt loh... haix... ytd nitze after our movie... i told him.. if we were to break i won't go and find him anymore... cox i got others guyz friends who i can talk to.. Don't need to always put him to be everything then in the end i suffer.. But the guyz friends are friends lah.. not BOYFRIEND... those that can talk with me.. play with me and etc.. Den he cry loh... he say if i can find others guyz tt treat me and love me more than him he willing to let go.. den while saying his tears keep drooping.. half an hour while we are talking? hmm... i know he really love me.. but maybe sometimes in a wrong way.. sometimes he really dunno wad i wan... but well.. not everybody is perfect.... I know he dote on me alot... my hands he had always been finding way to cure it.... but... only is his temper... and seriously.. I DUN LYK HIM TO LIE..... this i cannot take it.. But all in all.. I LOVE HIM... ^^
hmmm send my proposal in to uncle on Sunday.. and he say he will look through it and let me know loh.. ^^ a good start? I guess... gambatte ne!!!
11:54 PM
i pledge my love for you.
you really dont' understand me dear.... you really don't know me... I say wait means wait!!! you are lucky that i keep control not to quarrel with you.. if not how? another meaningless fight?
When will you learn??? I really really v.v.v tired you know? Stop forcing me can? Or should i say can i see your change? I really v.v.v. disappointed le... No improvement since then... I don't know how to tell you.. But please doing something can??? it takes 2 hands to clap not 1.... =.= i really hope to see your improvement...
11:23 PM
i pledge my love for you.
hmm.. well things turn out better.. me and dear.. trying to reduce our quarrel.. well it works.. ^^ provided that i don't flare up^^ .. and he have been finding excuses this few days to book out... So ya.. was quite nice.... ^^ Seeing him.. hugging him.. feel his presence...... maybe we use to stick together too much in the past... So he inside the army was really a very very hard thing for me loh!!!!! and a veryveryvery bad news for me loh.. if he was going to posted to sungei gedong after his course... he is going overseas nor!!!!!!!! I DUN WAN DUN WAN DUN WAN NOR!!!! india for 3 weeks.. and austrialia for 8weeks.......
die oso cannot i don't care.. i want go overseas for studies... he dun let... he go overseas.. i also DON'T LET!!!... very long leh... will die nor.. cannot lah.. say what also cannot.. die die also cannot... so best he go ayer rajah camp... heex...
well just finish my project.. the report... now only left.... powerpoint.. heex... report deardear help me to edit our english.. he say i improve alot loh^^.. its a good thing.. but this also shows that my chinese is going down.... :'( but never.. chinese as long as i am free... read up can liao....
well tahts bout it bahx...... lala................ ^^
11:23 PM
i pledge my love for you.
seriously... i feel.. if can i rather forget him than be with him.. i am damm fucking tired.... of everything......... a leopard never change its spots.. this is what i feel...
7:37 PM
i pledge my love for you.
my illness gotten worse.. today bleeding non stop i really dunno what to do... i try call him but his hp off... i call his mum... but his mum dun even want to reply me at all...
i really damm sick and giddy.... i need him now... really... can if he appear today i will use anything to change.... i miss him.. love him.. need him... :'(
5:55 AM
i pledge my love for you.
I don't know.. I drank a 8% voka... and was kinda drunk.. maybe i am too tired bahx.... but i insist to blog....... i am hurt........ really hurt... even if he appear infront of me now........ i also wun forgive him anymore...... i am so tired....... tomorrow i will do the same........
i.. really give up......... he change his password and etc........... let him be bahx..... take care........
6:39 AM
i pledge my love for you.
you lie to me again......... again and again................................
you think I don't know? WHY? I am just shit....... you make me delete everything again......
Am i really just a joke to you?
you like to lie so much then let you be.......................
my messages? Mean? But you still chose money over me...
yesterday go wake..today go wake again?
HAHAHAHAHAH....
you like to go wake so much right???
One day you will attend mine... ^^ soon man~~~^^
i now dun even feel like replying you...i am hurt so much.......
today i am going out for a drink ^^........
1st time.......... i hate u!!!! u dunno and dun care right? i hate u... now i tell u... I won't become the girl that you know anymore.... really won't... you always took me forgranted.. stop saying you are wrong.............
you are not.. i am wrong.. i shouldn't have fall in love in..u.... shouldnt at all.....
dun say u wan to protect me when all you do is just hurt me............
you really dun understand me.........
you know i love you so much that i give up my overseas studies trip TWICE!!!! but you never know and never appreciate that....
I go drink humph!!! i go drink!!! yi zhui jie qian chou!!!!
12:38 AM
i pledge my love for you.
why? why? everyone can don't understand me.. he can't... why cant he just understand? I DON'T WANT HIS MONEY !!! REALLY DON'T WANT!!! I DON'T WANT AND DON'T NEED HIM TO GO HOME STAY FOR MONEY!!! THIS INSULT ME... AND OUR RELATIONSHIP!!!!
HE PROMISE WON'T GO BACK DE.......
all is just crap... lying to me... just coaxing me.... everything is nothing...
All are lies and hua yan qiao yu~~~~~~~
I hate him.. really.. want $$ i can take from my uncle... he always take $$ from his parents just for us.. once in a while I take also ok what!!!!!!! Why can't he just understand?
ALREADY NO TIME TOGETHER LIAO!!! HE GO HOME STAY.. GO OUT WITH HIS MUM.. AND ETC.. ANOTHER 1 DAY GONE.... FUCK HIM LA!!!! He dun understand me...... AS MY BOYFRIEND HE DON'T UNDERSTAND ME...... i really don't want his money....... I DONT WANT.....
he always act in his way.. never go and think what i want.... fuck off... really......... i hate u... you don't understand what is love.... love don't need money... don't need money at all........................... really don't need.........................
PS: ni yi ci you yi ci de shang hai wo.... i leave......... i walk out of the toots world please.. stop all these..... I DON'T WANT... you love me? no you don't at all
12:38 AM
i pledge my love for you.
why always u only come to be awaken after i decided to leave you or to ignore?
dear....
So what if you have decided to change? So what you say you wun hurt me again?
you just keep doing it.... lots of chances had been given to you.. you never learn to cherish it....
I told you before.. lots of time... dun regret when you actually come to realise it..
Cox what done had been done and can't be undone... the hurt you gave had already become scar..
you cant blame others but your own...
I still love you....
Just that you cant ask me to be the same anymore... Not I don't want.. Just that I can't...
You never know how i actually felt... How much hurt you had actually done to me...
Don't can? Don't always came to realise so late and keep want me to change when you realise that... You know you are just pressurize me... and hurting me.. Don't can? Let natural take it cause.. I know I am hurting you now... But.. sorry... Not I want...
9:57 PM
i pledge my love for you.
today is the 2nd day.. i nv really slp... take a nap for round 3hours jiu wke up le... that pig.. confirm still sleeping as usual.. dun need say....... maybe better off for him... nobody will wake him up..... ytd he msg me.... say that he love me..... he say that everything all along he had lied to me... you know what? he dunnid to stay in at all but he volunteer.....He wanted to go out with his friends all along.. just waiting for time... all these while he is just planning me to let him go yet at the same time he cheated my feelings... he took me forgranted HAHAHAHA.. what a joke! TO ME... i had been so foolish doing all sought of stupid things for him....... he just dunno how much he hurt me..... he just dunno how I feel... i dunnid his care.... really i die also dun wan him to know.... really....
hahaha..... I think mostly i will live only for a week? maybe bahx.. my hands are dam pain... dunno wad happen inside also... but v.v.v pain... ytd i saw his msg.. i cry.. my whole fain keep trembling.. my eyeys damm pain.. nearly go blind... i use my hands to force it to stop.... my chest... the nerve pull again oso...... but all these pain... to me no feeling..... really no... its nothing as compare to the hurt he give me.........
i told him... i won't commit suicide..... i will just dun eat.. but i didnt told him....... not i dun wan to eat.. just no appetite..... I dun wan to open my mouth and talk also........ v.v.v.tired...........
i just wanna leave quietly..... but i dun wan him to care..... wad the point of caring about whether i will die or not..... wads the point to care whether i live normally not.... cause i wun...... i am no lnger the winnie le...... i won't turn back..... you care for me not.. i dun care and dunnid and i didnt ask from you also.... i really let you go........ cause i dun wan you.. no energy to keep you also..
ytd.... while packing his back.... glasses chips came out due to last time the bottle i gave him.. i guess that day i never clear properly..... i got 2 thinking... should i cut myself? i didnt.... not becox of him..... but becox of sis.... i promised her.... but while i am clearing it.. it accidently cut me... my 2 hands bleed but i dun wan to use plasters.. cox he always wan me to use plaster.. i dun wan....
he wan me to eat.. i dun wan... he wan me to take care of myself ... i dun wan......
YOU KNOW WHAT? AHAHAHAHAHAH... he went to find girls........ ask him go ahead please... fuck off lah......... ahahaha... what am i? SHIT... hahaha... TOY!!!!
I promise not to.. but i cant myself... ahahaha....... please help me to ask him fuck off... thanks...
6:26 PM
i pledge my love for you.
we.. break off le.......
i love him......
really love him.....
but he lied to me all along.......
i cannot take it........
he all along wanted to go out with his friends........
i cannot take it...... not because i selfish becox he lied.....
he find me annoying when he ask me to msg him.......
i cannot take it........
he have no freedom with me.....
i cannot take it.........
you know wad? he say he become shit becos of me?
i cannot take it......
so to him...... all is my fault ...........
but.... its doesnt matter anymore.... no longer.......
don is don......
winnie is winnie........
i devoted into this rs... without any held back..... for 1yr plus......
i didnt regret.......
but when at the break time.. u say all along i was talking to guyz? all along i wanted to be with others guyz? i won't call u dear anymore because i will call the others????
you want go every single contact of my msn?? go ask them............... after i stead with u... do i contact them???? how much do i talk to them?????????? they click on me de or wad..?? do i reply more then 20 sentences? usually less than 5!
but it doesnt matter anymore....
you know me well enuff.... am i that kind of person? you know it..... so what you wan to say.. doesnt matter anymore....
i shouted... for the last time... deardear wo ai ni...... and i threw away 070707...... this was the start of our rs.. although u lost it... but to me... it doesnt... its like even 1 left.. we are still together.....
but i threw it away.... i couldn't cry all along.. but the moment it was off my hands..... my tears just roll down......... i wanna cry out loud...... but i cant........
i only throw tt away...... the others i wont throw...... cox its all his xin yi...... although..... i am not his or should i say he is not mine anymore.... but is ok.........
i don't wish for more..... i only want...... him to be happy...... find a girl that can take care of him..... must love him more than i do....... find the girl that is suitable for him.... dun neglect his future.....
all his life is blessed with happiness and joy...... tt all i hope for..... i can use anything to exchanged for it....
i won't turn back...... cox the scare is too deep...... my heart is once again dead.....
Ps: i hope... accident hapen on me..... make me forget him...... please god..... i beg u.....
dear... how much i love you....... you didnt know...... u didnt treasure it........
10:32 AM
i pledge my love for you.
I quote from friendster...
20)WHEN A GUY SACRIFICES HIS SLEEP AND HEALTH JUST TO TALK TO YOU, HE REALLY LIKES YOU AND WANTS TO BE WITH YOU AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
My boy? Ya he do.. during his BMT times he miss me like dunno what.. everyday a phone call is a must.. no matter how late it is.... but after that?? haha no... maybe he had gotten use to it.... He is now stay in... a phone call to him.. is an extra ordinary tired job for him... I understand that NS is a very tiring job for him... I can see his tiredness... but have he ever thought of me missing him? wanted to be with him 24/7??? Did he know how I feel when he refuse or cannot call me??
I watch a show.. they say when a guy goes into a relationship... he will become more clever... whereas a girl will become more stupid....
I think this saying is true...
I love you... But how much do you know?
You said so but do you actually mean it??
Never ever once you are with me.. when i needed you most.. you know?
7:33 PM
i pledge my love for you.
Now then i found out that.. ytd i post.... but i did not say that it is our anniversary...
1year 3 months.... ^^
But sad to say there is nothing to say about it....
no celebration not even the feeling of love is there.....
is it NS fault? Me or him?
quarreling the whole day....
See and feel the messages that do not mean anything.....
So what is love about????
I keep trying but no outcome....
I keep unbear to let go but what I get is hurting me more and more....
What is the definition of love? Till now I still dunno...
I watched panted skin.....
I saw vicky love for his husband...
That is really call love..
No possesion...
No asking for return..
And just giving to hope that he will be happy....
I also want to do that.....
My love for him is like that....
I do everything hope that he is happy....
But after that I changed...
Become unreasonable and demanding?
Is it my fault? I would only say I am too tired that why?
I still do everything for the sake of him...
But he didn't...
He give in..
But never care for me...
My feelings...
Maybe my dear... I neglected yours...
But now is too late to say who right who wrong......
I only wish to give him the best now.....
Once I feel that he is able to live on his own...
I will leave quietly...
Maybe to fulfil my young wish?
Go overseas to study or work......
I want to leave him.. quietly and to a place I cant go and find him neither can he........
Maybe this is the best for us.......
A call for me become something I have to demand for....
During call time...
I love you and all the others nice words...
Become what I need to wish for...
Is love suppose to be like this?
I dunno........
I feel so empty...
I am picturing now... He kneel down infront of me know without me saying.. And tell me that all along he was wrong... But you know what my feeling? So what in the end he knew and tell me that he is going to change? Its too little too late..... By giving just another chance is just repeating the history again and again.......
I don't want my whole life living in this situation...
Though I seriously love... More than anything.. Include my life....
But i guess.. like all my previous post... We are not mend to be...
You know during 6th of october...
1 day before anniversary...
the 1 gift i gave to him...
the bottle broke..
The words i record in the toy for him went missing...
All these happen infront of me...
As all the things are with me...
Maybe it the destiny telling me...
You should end winnie....
tears flows down my cheeks... the feeling inside my heart at this very moment do you know any of them??
1:19 AM
i pledge my love for you.
hmm.. was posted to financial resource centre.. afternn shift... =.= dotz... cannot play .. morning end at 1.. can play and work loh.. but nvm.. can slp late.. oso not bad bahx???
15-28dec holiday.. so most likely will go overseas to get stock and start my little business.. :)
heex....
deardear.. nowadays army v.v.busy... loaded with too much work.. always tired cannot call me... make me abit pissed off... so same still say break and we quarrel everday.........
9:44 AM
i pledge my love for you.
heex.. uncle agree to open a business with us.. Hope we can do it well.. :P
We will start it off with tuition agency follow by retail line... LALALA.. ^^
7:59 PM
i pledge my love for you.
we might seems to be fated to be together after all those things we have been through. Yet at the same time looking back we should know that we are not mend to be together. We had chosen the wrong path to go to... when we first thought it was right. but we were wrong so wrong.. none of us would ever expect to be hurt so badly.. i really dunno what the point of us continuing when what we do is just hurting each other more and more.. pushing each other to the end of the world. is it worth it? we dunno .. just that none of us.. could really bare to take the first step to destroy what we had built up over the years. None of us want to completely destroyed everything... We know we love each other.. we know we need each other... just that we always does it in a wrong way... I am so tired... I love you yet i dun wish to hurt...
I want to end.. yet I really dunno how should I do it.. I am lost in my own world from the day I know u.. without u.. I dunno whether am i still able to continue to be brave and strong.. maybe in the end you will just turn to be part of my memory.. and me too... but at that point of time... i believe there is a moment where both of us really thought that we would be able to continue till the rest and end of our life.. but now.. it doesn't really seems so..
We are from different world we have different mindset... we are just not suitable for each other.. maybe till one day we look back we might regret .. that actually they are all our foolish act...
will we?
At moment did you think of me? I begain to realise that i may not be what you always told me that I am suppose to be.. I am no longer the center of your attention and somehow or rather whether you admit or deny you begain not able to love me as before.... no matter what reason you have... me too...... both of us are just drifting apart.. just that wenever admit it.. we keep telling ourself we still love each other like we first do... however it was just merely a lie that we say.... Things done... can never be undone.... the hurt we gave each other can never be mend.... the things that we did ... there isn't any use of regreting....
U used to say.. I will love you no matter what you are, who you are or what you going to become... but now? people do change.. i told you i won't... I really did not till those incident happens.... As i change i hurt you and as i hurt you the love and comprimises you used to give had no longer been the same...
I used to say I will love you no matter what other say.... and i still do.. just that the portion of love was no longer the same... i couldn't no matter how hard I had tried i just couldn't bring it back... I am just so hurt.. so hurt that i could not forget...
Now.. the temper that i had try to change is not because i saw you change or i had already let go the past.. it just that i dun wish to quarrel anymore dun wish to see those cruel things you will do to me or I will do to you.. don't wish to see any of us breakdown.. While i am doing so..... i am not hoping... i am just letting it to go dry..... there will be just one single thing that will trigger this relationship and both of us will let go.... we were just merely unknowingly waiting for this day to come... unless a miracle happen if not... i really dunno how are we going back to the past............
deardear......... i miss u.... the old u the old times... u didnt know u are taking chun footsteps... juz that this timeround you do things that hurt me more as compare to him............
will our ending be goodbye or happily ever after?
10:13 AM
i pledge my love for you.
hmm... i seriously wonder.. what does love mean to you guyz??? i been in a relationship but i dun feel what i thought i suppose to feel... quarrel is like my everyday life.. though i love him la... but i seriously cannt take it at all... =.=
let him treat me lyk tt... %@#%$^##$^#&^*&&*... k la i treat him worse but haix.... i wanna LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE THIS PLACE FOR A MOMENT LO... but he dun let.. i am lyk so sad la.. sobsob....
8:27 PM
i pledge my love for you.
for now i just wish to be alone... all alone by myself with no promise breaker with no one who will annoyed me... no one who will hurt me and disappoint me.. I need to be alone ... to cool myself down.. and to relax... too much things that I have to think off... too many things I have to deal with... I am really tired... I need some rest too.... my heart again stopped.... no beating... no feeling... maybe ya...? feeling of sadness only... only that and nothing else..
Do I still wanna be with him?? honestly i dunnoo.... the feeling just faded... times and times again when i tried to believe.. he shattered everything.. every single thing.... you know maybe??? once dead.. never revived... my heart died once.. although it didnt revived.. but deep down there at a corner.. all the hurts done to me, I still have feelings.... I just wanna seriously cool down and rethink about this r/s... if can... I hope this r/s can juz fade away with no quarrel or anything I do not wish to happen.... I just wanna have my OWN life... only me and me... no frien no family no loved ones... for this moment... I wish to be anti-social.. live by my own.. do everything or carry all the burden by myself....
I am turning into a devil day by day... especially when he disappoint me.. this is not what I want... I hope to turn back the times and return t the pure and innocent me... but now... no more.. no longer that star anymore... you know? not even chun can change me... not I don't want just that I cant.. dun ask me why... cox.. I seriously dunno why... hate me leave me whatever go ahead... honestly now.. nothing matter much to me.. maybe I would like to try once to be "huai nu ren".. ? dunnoo... hopefully I can have my own world.. or some times for me to cool down.. I need that.. If not I will become crazy soon.. especially when with him.... he tolerance... begain to disappear and turn back to the person I DETEST... I dunoo... I juz dunoooooo......... can I have some time alone? Hopefully I can go for the exchange programme... cool myself down... relax myself...
PS: I am really hurt... just too hurt to do anything.... ni zhi dao ma?
6:08 AM
i pledge my love for you.
hmmm... today deardear finally finished his bmt le... and me replacing the receiptionist at lexmark again.. well everything was kinda mess.. =.= the gal who replce ytd.. nv do anything at all.. =.= den today i doin all the things.. i was like wth la.. and my guniea pig give birth le.. to 2 baby piggy.. 1 is pure brown and little white spot here and there.... another one is mixture of white and dark brown..
hmm well started my little business... bt business nt v. good.. sobsob.. bt nvm.. i decided to try the products my own.. so if got effect den alot of pple will buy heex... will be posting my picture today.. and next tuesday will post the picture again for the effect.. hope have result bahx.. i spend alot of $$ buying the products worx.. if no result den i will search for other better products!!!! ehtono gambatte ne!!! ^^
9:39 PM
i pledge my love for you.
kinda long since i last blog le bahx.. lolz.... doubt tt u guyz still reading bt well.. juz wanna post it regularly bahx.. mayb? haha... hmm.. well school reopen and school holidays time... so much thing happen to me till I nearly breakdown.. well.. i would say things dun go the way we always want to... it fated? or shld i say i m so weak tt i didnt change my destiny? after from falling down in my path.. i took kinda long time to stand up.. nearly went crazy den.. after tt.. bf went ns? i working and studying without stopping till i cant take it and begain to fall sick.. well? dunnoo... bt just feeling nothing ... was hurt once before so now.. towards the surrounding wadeva happen i still can take it bahx.. now the most happiest thing i am waiting for is my guinea pig to give birth.. heexx.. hurray... hope i can afford their expenses though.. got to go find job le... after my test later on will be HOLIDAY!!! need to go workout to slim down getiing fatter and fatter... Den going buy those beauty products tt i am selling.. to try see whether effective or not :P dear dear and nowell say be my model
wahhahaha.... hmm... well tmr anniversary... where am i going??? hmm.. birdpark? wildwild wet? still deciding.. lolz... so fan bout those things... why is money so import? haix...
Ps: I do love u.. as much as u do..
10:39 PM
i pledge my love for you.
一直以来，我以为他以被藏在我心里最深的那处，不会在出现也不会让我在有所期待些什么。 但至今我发现我错了，错得很离谱。心里一直有他的存在，一直有一些些期待。与他共同的回忆，是一段难忘的过去。原本以对他无动于衷，但心里还是有一个角落依然在乎著他，在乎著以往的过去。对于我现在所交往的他，让我心灰意冷，让我不想在有任何的期待。一次又一次的原谅以没意义。感情也慢慢的便淡。一切可能因我而起，但他所做的一切，仿佛把我推向记忆里找寻安慰。现在的我什么也不想去想去管，只想找个机会静静的离去这个讨人厌的世界，这段讨人厌的感情。就让一切过去，让我变成大家的回忆，慢慢把我给淡忘。
9:28 PM
i pledge my love for you.
haix.. went to work charles and keith for 1 day after that i resign. cox i hurt my shelf during climbing the racks not just once but several time. so decided to quit as it is not suitable for me...
well..suddenly have a feeling of opening a retail shop. mainly selling clothes, mention it to my bf after we discuss a while, we decide to proceed with it. discuss with mum then surprizingly I found out that mum once have that in mind too.. this make me more enthuasitc to open this shop. everything wasnt of much problem except two things. Capital and time. dear is going Ns during nxt year so till 2010, We might no be able to open the shop as i cannot be only the one managing it. at least i need someone to discuss with me. capital we don't have any at all except for start saving. the other alternatives is borrowing it from my uncle. but i don't have any confidence that he will lend the money to me. as I am still young even till then. but i think if i had a proper proposal it should be fine as the most I sign IOU with him. so everything now is still at a plainning state and things would only settledown to decide whether i will get it done by 2008 or 2010 when we go overseas to take a look at the market, price and trend..
PS: ehtono.. gambatte ne!!!!!!!
12:24 AM
i pledge my love for you.
well.. kinda long nvr update le.. recently had not been good for.. stupid boss and etc.. make me mentally actually breakdown le.. well.. kinda lazy but does not feel like attending lesson which is utterly bad.. well 1st 2 week admit that is sick so i have every reason not to attend.. but yesterday wasnt just dunno why dont feel lyk attending.. lazy, stress and dunno why also./.. well.. my temper keep going off recently which make my bf and sis find me weird and began hard to tolerate that.. i dunno why also but suddenly was too tired and feel like giving up everthing.. don't want anything.. if not for my own good i might not even come to school at all.. just staying home all days and slack that all.. then subsquently maybe even die bahx? i dunno why but just dont feel like living in this world anymore.. i am too tired.. just too tired.. the stress that facing my dad everyday make me go crazy.. the financial matter that my family is going on make me feel really bad.. and times that quarrel with my bf make me locking myself up from everything and anything.. i really goin crazy soon.. no $$, quarrel, annoying and insane dad.. what the hell am i suppose to do?? i wanna study not dont want just simply no mood.. if not i wont be making notes at home.. haix.. i dunno what i can do or anything that i am suppose to do.. well what i can say is that i should WAKE UP AND BUCK UP.. eventhough all these really affect me making me go crazy but i should get concentrated in my studies.. and since my bf is going to start work soon i should also do my part in studying... as he is no longer around to guide me in my studies.. anyway that all.. gambatte ne.. HEREBY I SWEAR ALL THE LESSONS I WILL ATTEND EXCEPT some lecture lah... but till end of this year i will not mc or anything.. even fever also come down.. :p gambatte ne.. heex... .. hope i can do it.. must do it.
7:11 PM
i pledge my love for you.
i dunoo... what should i do.. finally he decided to let go.. but both of us can't bear to.. but we jolly well know tt its the best for us.. we love each other.. today he decided to let go after hearing what i say.. both of us cried... after tt we return to normal.. we decided.. on thiz sun after our anniversary we will break up... some things remain some change.. depends.. but what it sure be left is the hurt tt stay in us... am i doing the right thing? break up is it the only choice for us?.. but he couldnt change.. its hard even he could bt the thngs would happen cox is too minor.. some might thnk wad for minors thngs spoil our r/s.. but if u were me.. u will know.. sometimes too minors tngs happen too many times.. conflict will arouse.. haix.... i dunno i really dunno... i couldnt afford to let go.. bt there isnt any choice for me except to do so.. if not both of us will be hurt even more.. selfish-ly me... i will be even more hurt..
PS I LOVE YOU...
8:20 AM
i pledge my love for you.
u said i force to become lyk thix.. den wad bout u? wad hav u promise me ytd and wad have u done? u hurt me again and again.. wad u expect me to do? ya i admit tt i am bad temper this causes u to be lyk thix.. bt since tt the case y did u chase me when u alrdy knew it ? y did u come and interupt my world when u cant stand it? y did u made all these promises when u weren't going to keep it? may i knw y? seriously?
i tried talking to you nicely i had been waiting for you to tell me tt u will change back and do all the same things as wad you had been doin .. bt no.. all yours words were jux so mean... nt giving in at all.. nt thinking for me... nt even care about my heartbreak... do you know all these? u don't... u keep saying is me who causes all this.. so you werent at fault at all? izzit? its all my fault right? if wouldnt for me to have been doin all the wrong things.. you wouldnt have change right? this is wad u told me... since than... wad the point of carrying on this r/s when there wasnt any luv bt blaming each other?
here.. i end our r/s.. mayb u will think i am lyk this again. bt really i am serious this time round.. always when i said break i wouldnt post in my blog i wouldnt say in my friendster i would delete everyting i had bout u.... bt thix time round i do it.. nt for the seek of showing u.. bt i wanna forget u... totally.. i know i cant do it now.. bt i will try my best to do it well... take care don.. really... dont use anything to threaten me... cause is n longer useful... my heart is dead.. really seriously ...
may you find ur miss right and tret her well... do wad u promise her.. luv her wif ur life... bye...
~dead and is bleeding~
2:30 AM
i pledge my love for you.
你说我逼你，让你变成这样，那你呢? 当我常识在改的时后，你也在改变。你在也不当初我所认识的了。你一次又一次的伤了我，一次又一次的让我失望。你知道那有多痛心吗? 今早我告诉你我心死了。你说你会用尽所有的办法让它活着但你有吗?你只是一次又一次让它痛。你说你的退让还来的也只是我的得寸进尺，你说我过分，你说我逼你。这些话一句一句的刺进我的心里。机会我有给是你一次又一次的推翻它。今天的分手不是而戏。我承认我刁蛮任性。有时还蛮不讲理。但我有在改啊。而且一切的一切之因为你。
~心伤透的痛，你知道吗?~
2:03 AM
i pledge my love for you.
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well.. today had a wonderful day... heex... cox ehtono. finally gt to c my DOLPHIN!!!!~~~ well is v. cute loh... see them swimming and jumping in the water is so nice!!! well though they dun have much freedom but i am sure they do enjoy themselves.. at least no matter wad.. they are save there... get to touch a mature male pink dolphin name - JUMBO.. the skin wasn't really smooth maybe due to the friction... and go to take a pic with him and my deardear... the trip was nice.. after we went to underwater world.. since ages that i had been there... nothing much have change.. well i get to touch stingray.... so cute la... didn't dare to touch at first.. bt one of the stingray i wave at it to come.. it just simply swim up and let me touch la.. so lovely.. KAWAII NE... simply just love it and nothing else.. :P gt to touch starfish.. didnt knw tt it is lyk stone lyk tt de.. i tot they gt some ehtono thgny sticking oput tt will poke de.... :Xwell is simply just v.cute la... :) and gotta scared by 1 stupid fake great white shark is actually a luminous ehtono pic?? dunno hw to describe it bt damm scarry la.. LOLwell after everything was damm tired la.. dunno why.. =.= actually can reach hm by 10pm de.. bt i too tired so decide take cab hm.. well finally realise my dream.. watch my dolphin.. really thx dearderar for doing tt.. :) MUACKIES... bttoday we spend quiet lot of $$ worx.. thnk near 100 buckx or so.. stupid sentosa.. eat pple $$ bt anyway v. happi.. :) thc deardear.. happy 2 month ne.. muackies... well here by upload some pic tt we took today.. :P
6:52 AM
i pledge my love for you.
asking him to change izzit my fault? bt i juz cant take it tt he broke the promise he made again and again.. juz trying to wake up at certain time izzit tt difficult?i knw there lotsa time i am bad.. there r lotsa time i shout at him, scold him resulted him to lose his face.. bt those who knw me well i am lyk tt.. i dun care bout face.... the more close i am with you the more i will not control my temper.. cox i dun find a need to.... nevertheless.. u r my bf... wad can i do.. i trying to change m temper.. tt y when he wake up late.. i wake up and called him.. nt shouted at him.. bt again and again he disappoint me by getting back to slp.. GUYS!!! may i knw why is ur slpness so important? don't slp will die? why u all can cox of game dun slp.. cannt cox of frien or gf.. wake up at certain time to meet when u PROMISE?? :'( honestly.. keep on gavin me hope and break it.. make me cant take it le.. honestly.. this r/s shld continue or nt i really dunno le.. though he really luv me and of cox i do too.. bt.. haix...ytd went sch... well was kinda looking for him (chun) bt didnt get to see him.. kinda disappointed.. well no other meaning except to see hw hav he been... till went down to canteen saw wif chris,wei jie they all.. well only gt to see his back.. the entire whole day didnt gewt to c his actual face only side or wad so eva.. cox i oso dun dare to really look at hi.. conclusion.. thngs r still the same... we are stranger.. didnt even greet each othr.. he is still as quiet as eva.. some may ask i hav a bf alrdy why stil wld i care so much bout me and him.. well.. honestly ya.. i dun lyk him alrdy.. bt chun is nt juz any frien.. he is a v.v.v.special frien of mine... cox of the memories we had in the past make me forgetting him is impossible... when i saw him i said i dun wish to see him bt deep in my heart.. bt when the moment i saw him actually i had a mix feeling.. wondering how had he been? fine? wad had he been doing? i luv him honestly.. more than any1 (in the past.. NOW ONLY AS A Frien) hope to be frine once again bahx....after tt saw lotsa teachers... haha.. all rem my name bt nt joey.. guess i scold students too much much and they rem me le bahx.... hahahxx... den G was late.. well back wif him and all the othrs frien in the same school... bt the feeling was different.. no more running around.. no more teasing... no more gossips.. bt additional of strange feeling... nt lyk the usual way in school... haix.. times pass and we are getting older... thngs change and we are oso changing.. so awkardly bt we hav to accept it... SIMPLY JUST LOVE THE PAST...
8:03 PM
i pledge my love for you.
hmmm... well during ehtono aug 9 i thnk.. deardear had a quarrel wif his dad and had high fever lo.. b4 tt he alrdy gt fever le.. den he stay at my hse ... well he took my bed.. and i slept at mum's rm.. well it is 1st in my lifetime tt i actually woke up in the middle of the night to check one illness... nt even my sis i do so lo.. =.= (ok i knw i am a v.bad sis) bt ya i woke up in the middle of the night (b4 9 aug) and knw tt he was running a high fever i was so woory lo.. i faster fo and take some medicine for him and use cloth dept into ice water to cool his fever down.. make me set alarm clock 1 or 2hr wake up 1 time.. =.= daddy knw liao still scold me.. cox my own sis i oso nvr treat so gd... hmm.. den on aug 9 donnie quarrel wif his daddy den high fever.. my mummy scared he gotcha dengue fever den send him to hospital.. den after tt gt ntng happen.. heeex... den my deardear scared of medicine worx.. still ask doctor gt sweet medicine or nt.. so cute siaq.. den docotr say him WHIMP.. ask me to see through his true colours.. haha so cute sia.. after went home.. and same thnk lo.. wake up every few hrs to check whtr he is ok.. and put wet cold cloth on him to cool his fever down.. lalalalla... deardear owe me 1 ren qing... muz return horx.. ;p bleahx.. kidding.. muackies.. dun fall sick again ya? ^.^
7:25 AM
i pledge my love for you.
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hmm... well its kinda long since i blog.. cox having exams and so on.. well this month lotsa thngs had happe.... exams r over.. HURRAY!!! so far everything should be quite ok except for economics.. =.= hope everything go well.. I DUN WANNA REPEAT MODULE... :p pray god... bless me.. LOLx... ehtono.. follow by is deardear... well he had kinda succesfully pass through my daddy and grandma.. meaning.. we had been approve to be tgt.. yata!!! heex.. bt even tt is so... its still nt gd enuf... u knw y? cox.. my daddy dun lyk me to stead... keep nagging and etc.. make me so fedup.. and my granny see us everyday tgt complain tt we r too sticky.. =.= well i admit tt we r sticky.. bt so wad? nt as if tt there is anythng wrng wif it.. as lng as we r happi wif it is ok arh.. :P well.. then 2 weeks ago.. deardear had been cooking for.. cant deny tt his cooking was really gd.. :) had been treating me well... bt as usual keep making me sad,disappointed and angry due to his bad habit which is SLEEP!! ARGH.. cant accept tt.. his stupid slp is more impt than me lo.. EEEEEeee!!!!!!! unfair~! i wannna complain.. haha... well tt all bout it ya? ~Love him more and more each day... though i told myself maybe one day everything would end... and i must not put in wholeheartedly to prevent myself frm falling hard.. bt i juz cant prevent myself frm doin it.. ~
7:10 AM
i pledge my love for you.
EhTOno... YaTa... ONe MOnTH sINce me aNd DeAr OfFiCiAlY DaTe.. LaLaLa.. TOdAy WeNt ShOpPiNG WiTH mY DeAR dEAr aCtUaLly NOt ShOpPinG lA.. Is MOvIe.. AlonE.. OmG.. Is daMMm... sCaRy lA.. I ScARed tIll I Cry Loh.... :( Bt kiNdA NICe lAh.. :) WeLL Den DeaR deAR say NExt tIMe DuN lET mE WaTCh sCaRy MoVIe Le.. CoX i CrY... EEE BaDdIe AnD BuLlY hOr.. :'( WeNt TO TaKe NEoPrINt Too.. WeLL AfTEr MovIE eND We SaT NeAR ThE sMaLl FoUNtAin AnD tOOk pHOtoS.. hoNEstLy kINdA bAD tOdAy COx rnD aFterNooN tIMe haD a qUaRrEL... BuT wElL As UsUaL eVerYtHInG rEtUrN tO nORmAl After aWhilE.. BT tOdaY dAmm angRY WiF HIM loH... ;P ANyWAy.. tt All BoUt It.. THx DEar deAR... MUACKXXXZZZ!~MaY wE HaVe loTsa aNnIvERsaRY...~
8:28 AM
i pledge my love for you.
recently i really couldn't stand my parents.... when the times that i didn't work.. they will nagged and ask me to work.... when i worked nowadays.. they will keep nagging say that i always go home late.. ZOMG!! please lah.. 7-11 pm.. at east coast park and i live at tiong bahru .. how on earth can i be back earlier? bus took at least 1 hr and 15 min.... they just simply don't understand... they i worked not long want to ask me to quit... damm inconsiderate lah.. seriously... i cannot stand lah... all the jobs i had worked before were the same.. so selfish lah.. they all... haix... dunno.. maybe i am getting older.. temper also getting worst.. but sometimes they really gone too far le lah... haix..
Help me to get out of this shit can? :(
7:08 PM
i pledge my love for you.
hmm.... today finally know the main reason behind tt my grp members are unhappy about l.. they think that i am selfish.. cox i spend more time wif don more than projects.. as in spend wrong time with don which should be spend on the projects... actually wanan explain on that... but they said tt i will counter back... so kinda no point explaining then.. isn't it? :(
honestly i admit i did spend alot of time with don.. as in always tgt.. bt tt is only tt.. he send me to school after tt he fetch me home.. lyk tt only arh.. i didn't go dating or wad arh.. even if have i thnk only 1 or two time bahx.. its actually been quite sometimes since both of us go out loh.. except tt day buy pressy for his mum (no choice hav to de arh... ) thnk tt the only day we really went out.. the rest of the days i am either working or got to be home arh.. felt really kinda gt misunderstood but.. i do not wish to explain to them.. cox i dun wan let them thnk tt i am finding excuses...
well all in all... hope things rest down bahx... after exam hope things will be ok bahx.. mayb shld ask deardear.. stop sending and fetching me le bahx.. if nt misunderstanding will arouse again bahx...
ehtono.. gambatte ne.. :)
6:48 PM
i pledge my love for you.
hmm.. well exam is coming near.. damm near.. 3 more weeks and its exam.. well revision start this week.. which actually is wed... goin to start le.. dunno whether this revision will last long not.. bt will try my best to de.. ;p Gambatte ne... to my frienx out there.. exam is coming along.... rem to start revise worx... :) jia ne...
~there is time to joke and play~ & ~there is time to be serious~
ITS STUDY TIME NOW!!!! :P
6:16 PM
i pledge my love for you.
haix.. really dunno what to say le.. due to my lateness arh.. causes my grp member to be unhappi about it.. but i alrdy apologise and promise not to do that le.. bt they still v. pissed off and gave me attitude... but cannt blame them cox.. it my fault in the 1st place..
bt i really dunno wad can i do.. or wad i shld do to pu chang le...
its not a gd day today.. juz simply sad.. it juz simply my fault...
10:42 AM
i pledge my love for you.
deardear going NS soon le and quit his job today.. mabe our gaps will be further and further le bahx.. will never know.. although he keeps assuring me.. but there is nothing i can do to controlthe feeling that hides deep inside... R/S wif deardear.. also rang wo yue lai yue mei you xin xin le... reason? i oso dunno.. maybe cox we r really different bahx... but all in all i love him... muackx.. :P
Haiz.. nowadays projects keep coming on..really cannot take it le... and due to my stupidity of lateness.. make my groups members v. unhappy about... really feel v. guilty.. project is together.. attendance is so important and yet i am always late... so i had promise them not to be late le... and i will use action to prove my words de.. soorry guyz for making u guyz angry... HONTONI GOMEINE....
ehtono.. haix.. exam is coming.. mus start revision le... starting next week.. Gambatte ne.. :) heex... hope will pass with playing colours.. cannot disappoint myself.. and mummy and daddy.. very important.. dun wan mummy thnk tt r/s will affect my studies... and i dun wanna to repeat any module also..so borinng loh.. but all the dun wan can only be done if i revise for exam and do well.. so gambatte ne... :)
xin fu de ri zi shi yao kao zi ji qu zheng qu....
8:49 AM
i pledge my love for you.
this few days really not in good mood lo.. well today having account test (ICA2).. everything i know how to post but only the name write wrongly loh.. stupid me.. revise time dun wan see properly.. know how to post is not enough must know how to post and write the description!!! kns loh.. possibility of failingis high lo.. i dun wanna fail again la... take accounts before de.. fail is lyk kns loh......!!!!! dun care.. die die must hav a fair pass.. from now onwards must revise liao.. exam is on next month which is lyk 1 month left only.. must do well... ESPECIALLY ACCOUNTS! upon 60% for ICA3 i must get 50%!!!!
PS: please let me pass my ICA2... at least let me get a 27... PLEASE!! THX GOD!! HOPE U HEARD MY PRAY!
donnie... : sorry dear.. tix few days keep fa ni pi qi... i knw u r hurt.. sorry dear..
12:36 AM
i pledge my love for you.
最近的我，脾气越来越坏。对于你也只有抱歉与无奈。因为我的任性与野蛮，让你一次又一次的受伤害。虽然知道自己不好，虽然知道自己很坏。但还是对你造成伤害。无法弥补的过错，我只能用对不起来带过。希望你不要因此退后，但愿我能改过。
12:17 AM
i pledge my love for you.
ehtono.. well this shld be posted in 07/07/07 but i not free so now den post.. ;phmm... well 07/07/07 he pass my probation and we stead.. ;ptt day i had 7 surprise.. although 1 eventually failed and was really disappointed but is ok.. cox i knw my dear tried his best le.. :) went mount faber for stars.. well had a little surprise there cox saw fireworks which none of us had expected.. ;p damm nice lo... den sit on cable car to view scenery.. ;p den oso went marina bay to fly kites.. went vivo de hei se hui to eat.. tt was awful!!! kns lo cheat our $$ ;ptook 37 pics at 1 go. lolx.. damm tiring lo.. 1st take so many pic oso... ;pehtono.. well.. though there are disappointment here and there.. but bcox he tried his best to gav the best i m really touch for wadeva he had done.. ;phmm.. before tt.. he stayed at my hse 3days.. ;x lolx.. dun anyhw thnk we slp seperate room.. he slp in mt rm.. me and nowelll cramp inside my parents room.. my dad de command.. kns lo.. really wonder am i their daughter or he is their son worx... =.= hmm.. cox only mummy knw bout our r/s so told daddy tt he is my frien nia.. ;x hmm.. well.. reason for him staying at my hse cox my mum say de.. surprise ritze? cox everyday after wrk he will send me hm den miss his last bus.. so he will slp at my hse downstairs.. den my mum say too dangerous for him and always lyk tt not gd.. so suggested to ask him slp at my hse.. bt reason tt we tell tt tt day is tt.. he forgot briong keys and parents went for holidays... ;x tt mummy idea.. h eex.. bt tt 1 only can use for tt 3 days.. haix.. now mummy gt to think of other excuses liao.. ;p bleahx.. lalallahmm.. thnk tt will be all i wanna blog bahx...~ai ni ke neng yi sheng yi shi ye bu gou...~
8:23 AM
i pledge my love for you.
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8:29 AM
i pledge my love for you.
终觉得你会离去，终觉得一切都不太实际。终会觉得一切都是会有结局。